Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Night of the Living Democrats


1. "Hello, Nancy. I've been sent to escort you to the next world. The barbed cock of Satan awaits."

2. "Get in mah belly!"

3. Fifty years later, Carrie Fisher and Jabba the Hutt reunite.

4. "I wash myself with a rag tied to a stick."

5. "Yeah, Comrade Tip, it's a shame we lost the Cold War, but we got a really good shot at losing the War on Islamo-fascism."

6. Man, I can't wait for the Scoobies to rip off the mask.

7. An illustration of the exact point at which things can not get any worse.

8. "It's so nice you came all the way from Hell to visit, Speaker O' Neill. So, how are Garry Studds and Paul Wellstone doing these days?"

9. "No, Tip, just because you can cure wrinkles with botox injections doesn't mean you can cure morbid obesity with flesh-eating-bacteria injections.

10. "Spot the corpse" Toughest round ever!

Best of The Man
John Edwards should have known better to look Nancy directly in her eyes.

Best of Rodney Dill
Oh, John, my lips are hot! Kiss my hot lips!

Best of Van Helsing
The change had already engulfed his right hand. Soon he would be transformed into the horrific beast that reflected the true nature of his soul. Pelousy moaned with anticipation…

Best of Jack Reacher
"The road map on your nose will guide me home."

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Tip and Nancy receive the much-anticipated news that donors had been found for their chin implants.

Best of Seoulman (R)
You'll never guess who you might find when you use Kos-Gal online dating services.

Best of Tim
I CAN HAZ BRAINZ???

Best of Tim
Tip begins his transformation into a Worm of Arakiss

Best of mklasing
Nancy thought: "Thank Satan I'm wearing my Anti-Leprosy pantsuit!"

Best of mklasing
In a moment of pleasant surprise Tip and Nancy revealed that they both had affiars with Barbara Walters in the 70's too.

Best of Submariner
♪ Babe, ♪ ♪
♪ I got you babe. ♪

Best of Submariner
Alien vs Predator IV

45 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

Heavens to Murthatroid

Rodney Dill said...

"I never can remember if harass is one word or two."

The Man said...

John Edwards should have known better to look Nancy directly in her eyes.

Rodney Dill said...

Oh, John, my lips are hot! Kiss my hot lips!

Van Helsing said...

The change had already engulfed his right hand. Soon he would be transformed into the horrific beast that reflected the true nature of his soul. Pelousy moaned with anticipation…

Jack Reacher said...

"The road map on your nose will guide me home."

Jack Reacher said...

"Superdelegates shouldn't be denied their votes just because they're dead, Nancy. After all; we're Democrats!"

Jack Reacher said...

"I am the ghost of Botox future."

Son Of The Godfather said...

After Nancy forcibly had her way with him, the headlines read:
"Tip Towed Through The Two Lips"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Is it Tip O'Neil, John Murtha, or the Ghost of Commies yet to come?... In any event, Nancy didn't take the hint.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Tip and Nancy receive the much-anticipated news that donors had been found for their chin implants.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"You know, Nancy... When you use your tongue like that, it's like french-kissing a squid."

Seoulman (R) said...

How sweet, an October-December romance

Seoulman (R) said...

Grandpa, what deformed, discolored, mishapen hands you have!

All the better to ... And before the middle-aged woman could escape, the wolf ate her right up

Seoulman (R) said...

I am here to take your soul ... oh wait, you're a Democrat, never mind, you already gave at the office.

Seoulman (R) said...

Sadly, he knew without a doubt, the smile was meant to lead them to the bedroom and he had forgotten where he lived.

Seoulman (R) said...

You'll never guess who you might find when you use Kos-Gal online dating services.

Silhouette said...

More chins than a Chinese phonebook.

curly said...

Catching a she-demon, Tip immediately regretted shouting “Kobe – I’m open!”

The Man said:

John Edwards should have known better to look Nancy directly in her eyes

Well done!

curly said...

“No drilling in ANWAR despite $4 a gallon gasoline! Excellent work! That should put a wooden spike through the heart of the economy!”

curly said...

“No, I hate amerikkka more than you do!”…”No, I do!”…”No, I do!”…”No, I do!”

curly said...

Tip knows that Nancy can’t grab his wallet as long as he maintains a firm hold on her arms.

curly said...

Stupordelegates or Pooperdelecates? You decide, next on “Oprah!”.

Jay Guevara said...

Murtha thought bubble: "That goddamned eHarmony is definitely going to hear about this.

jeff said...

"I left you a dignified office! Look what you've done with it! I'm going to shake you to death!"

"Oh! Now I can feel why they call you Tip!"

Army of Mom said...

I got it, guys! Succubus!

Army of Mom said...

Don't look it in the eyes, must not look the Medusa in the eyes ...

Army of Mom said...

Wow. My moobs are bigger than your boobs.

Tim said...

I CAN HAZ BRAINZ???

Tim said...

No wonder Obama looks good compared to that!

Tim said...

Tip begins his transformation into a Worm of Arakiss

mklasing said...

"Fantastic 4 part 21: The Thing and His Secret Love"

mklasing said...

Nancy thought: "Thank Satan I'm wearing my Anti-Leprosy pantsuit!"

mklasing said...

In a moment of pleasant surprise Tip and Nancy revealed that they both had affiars with Barbara Walters in the 70's too.

Submariner said...

Not a cap, V., just an observation - your #4 and 6 both work equally well regardless of which figure you have them coming from. Which did you intend?

Submariner said...

♪ Babe, ♪ ♪
♪ I got you babe. ♪

Submariner said...

I've seen this one - a second later, an extendable inner jaw set springs from her throat, biting the victim's face off...
PLEASE change the channel, V.

Submariner said...

I will NOT pay too much for a new muffler!

Submariner said...

Yeah, yeah, this love fest is about as real as WWE Monday Night Raw...

Submariner said...

Alien vs Predator IV

Submariner said...

"Two words, John;
Tic Tacs"

Submariner said...

"C'mere, Granny Nan, and let me slip you the ol' Tipper..."


I threw up a little in my mouth typing that...

Rodney Dill said...

Just the Tip then.

Adjustah said...

No matter how hard they tried, Disney Imagineers just couldn't get the movements to look any less animatronic...

Submariner said...

Question: How did eHarmony match this couple up?
Answer: They both indicated they'd take anything with a core temp over 32 degrees...