Monday, May 19, 2008

The Man in the Yellow Shirt Meets the Man with the Yellow Belly




1. It started with the flag lapel pin, but eventually, Hussein ditched all the accoutrement of white oppression, can you dig it?

2. Kerry: "Tiger Woods! It is such an honor! Did you know I served in Vietnam?"

3. Using a newspaper as camouflage, Hussein and Kerry find a more discreet way of exchanging long protein strings.

4. It's not "Ebony and Ivory" so much as "Caramel Latte and Decaying Corpse."

5. "That's all I hear all the f**kin' day. 'Can you score me some coke?' 'Can you score me some pot?' 'Can you score me some E?' Dammit, can't you white people find your own dealers?"

Wickeder Best of Gagdad Bob
"Can't I just greet my waffler?"

Wicked Best of prince of leaves
Reminded again of his abject failure as a presidential candidate, John Kerry looks little oyster knives of envy at Hussein.

Best of Jack Reacher
"You look lithe and lean. If someone threw a few medals over a fence, do you think you could climb over and get them for him?"

Best of Jack Reacher
Senators Kerry and Obama prepare for a briefing on classified intelligence by reading the New York Times.

Best of Chrees
"No, I haven't seen The Caine Mutiny. And why do you keep calling us 'Old Yellow Stain'?"

Best of The Man
"'scuse me while I whip this Wall St. Journal out"

Best of mpur
Dude, I told you to stay away from me when there are cameras around.

Best of mklasing
Senator Kerry played the ole' "yeah we have casual Fridays at the Senate" joke on the naive and gullible Obama.

Best of Army of Dad
"Sure you can have the Lifestyles section, but you might want to wait 15-20 minutes to let the bathroom clear out if you know what I mean."

Best of Army of Dad
"John, quick give me something smack that WASP with!"

Best of Seoulman (R)
What is a 5-letter word for a presidential candidate without a clue?

Best of Rodney Dill
Kerry: "Oprah endorses you huh? Is she as popular as Jane Fonda?"

36 comments:

Jack Reacher said...

"I don't usually want you people moving in to my neighborhood, Barack, but you're borderline rich and ultra-liberal, so I really wouldn't mind. Maybe you could help me talk to the gardeners."

Jack Reacher said...

"You look lithe and lean. If someone threw a few medals over a fence, do you think you could climb over and get them for him?"

Jack Reacher said...

"I lost in part by being ponderous, self-centered, arrogant, and condescending. So, I guess I'll be seing you in the Senate next year, Barack."

Jack Reacher said...

Senators Kerry and Obama prepare for a briefing on classified intelligence by reading the New York Times.

Jack Reacher said...

"Yeah, I know you're open, Kerry. I just don't care."

Anonymous said...

"Now that I'm the presumptive nominee, I have to coordinate with the CapThis! color scheme. BTW, where de white women at? Whaddya mean 'Come back Thursday?'"

Chrees said...

"No, my wife did NOT dress me, and leave her out of this!"

Chrees said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chrees said...

"No, I haven't seen The Caine Mutiny. And why do you keep calling us 'Old Yellow Stain'?"

The Man said...

Election? No John, I'm going to spend the next 5 months playing GTA IV and eating Fritos. I have this stand in over there doing my speeches. Turns out white people don't even know what I look like and will listen to whatever a black dude in a suit says, then vote for him.

mega said...

"Yeah, OK, Lurch, I'll get back to you on the VP thing. No really, it'll be a top priority. Honest."

The Man said...

"'scuse me while I whip this Wall St. Journal out"

mpur said...

Dude, I told you to stay away from me when there are cameras around.

mpur said...

Yes, John, I know you're married to a real African.

mklasing said...

Senator Kerry played the ole' "yeah we have casual Fridays at the Senate" joke on the gullible Obama.

mklasing said...

At the Wax Museum of Sports Legends and Loathers of America, no one could figure out who the man in the yellow shirt was supposed to be.

Gagdad Bob said...

"Can't I just greet my waffler?"

prince of leaves said...

Reminded again of his abject failure as a presidential candidate, John Kerry looks little oyster knives of envy at Hussein.

Dr. Hardcrab said...

>>>

I know what you mean, John. I wouldn't f*ck Teresa with McCain's d*ck!!!!

>>>

Army of Dad said...

"Sure you can have the Lifestyles section, but you might want to wait 15-20 minutes to let the bathroom clear out if you know what I mean."

Army of Dad said...

"When I am President, these are the only papers you will need to cross our borders!"

Army of Dad said...

"Damn, I forgot I need to wear a blue shirt the UNC's basketball practice. John will you hold my paper while I change?"

Army of Dad said...

"John, quick give me something smack that WASP with!"

Army of Dad said...

"I'll teach that damn dog to piss on Natalie Portman!"

Van Helsing said...

"What do you mean this hat makes me look just like your lawn jockey? Don't you know you're supposed to paint lawn jockeys white?"

jeff said...

"Heh, John - you only had a yellow stripe down your back. My entire torso is yellow!"

Seoulman (R) said...

Look, there is a special on arugula

Seoulman (R) said...

Hey John, when they compare me to you, is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Seoulman (R) said...

What is a 5-letter word for a presidential candidate without a clue?

Seoulman (R) said...

No jacket, no tie, no experience

Steve O said...

Tiger Woods is shown here in the latest edition of "Faces of Meth."

Steve O said...

Thats right.

Who's got the hat now?

Rodney Dill said...

Kerry: "Wanna borrow my blue NASA 'clean' suit?"

Rodney Dill said...

Kerry: "So you don't even have any medals to throw over the Whitehouse fence?"

Rodney Dill said...

Kerry: "Oprah endorses you huh? Is she as popular as Jane Fonda?"

Whacko said...

"Here's your paper massa Kerry. Will there be anything else?

"No, Obama, just be a good magic negro and disappear."