Friday, May 30, 2008
1. A desperate Bill Clinton is reduced to using roofies on his own wife.
2. "Thanks, k.d. lang... that strap-on was just what I needed."
3. "Hey, Ted, I'm totally loaded. Let me fly this bitch!"
4. "The only men I need in my life are Jim Beam and Captain Morgan."
5. "And then I cold-cocked that air whore and made her give me the whole can of Coke. Ah, sweet memories..."
Best of Gagdad Bob
"This is the first time I've ever been drunk on something other than power."
Best of curly
After a little liquid courage, Hillary is ready for the sniper fire.
Best of Jack Reacher
Paul's idea to super-glue Hillary's hand to the overhead rack to keep her vertical, while expedient, failed to consider the concept of bathroom breaks.
Best of mpur
Ok, her emotion chip is malfunctioning again. Let me just find the on/off switch here.....
Best of mpur
I can't believe the little bitch dumped me for some dweeb named Weiner. Get me another friggin' drink!
Best of prince of leaves
Symbolic of her flagging campaign, Hillary feels irresistably drawn towards the Exit door.
Best of attmay
"Ted Kennedy is dying. Someone's gotta drink all that unused Congressional hooch."
Best of Steve O
Stay back Scotty! It needs salt!
Best of Double the U
More proof that Charlie Sheen is a sex addict as he goes after Mrs. Clinton.
Best of Kaptain Krude
No wait, a women is like a beer. They taste good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one. But you can't stop at just one woman....so I said, if you want the money, you have to come and get it, 'cause I don't know where it is you phony... you make me wanna wretch."
Best of Seoulman (R)
"I'm sorry Sentator Clinton, you will have to come with us. There have been complaints from ... well just about everyone.