1. A desperate Bill Clinton is reduced to using roofies on his own wife.
2. "Thanks, k.d. lang... that strap-on was just what I needed."
3. "Hey, Ted, I'm totally loaded. Let me fly this bitch!"
4. "The only men I need in my life are Jim Beam and Captain Morgan."
5. "And then I cold-cocked that air whore and made her give me the whole can of Coke. Ah, sweet memories..."
Best of Gagdad Bob
"This is the first time I've ever been drunk on something other than power."
Best of curly
After a little liquid courage, Hillary is ready for the sniper fire.
Best of Jack Reacher
Paul's idea to super-glue Hillary's hand to the overhead rack to keep her vertical, while expedient, failed to consider the concept of bathroom breaks.
Best of mpur
Ok, her emotion chip is malfunctioning again. Let me just find the on/off switch here.....
Best of mpur
I can't believe the little bitch dumped me for some dweeb named Weiner. Get me another friggin' drink!
Best of prince of leaves
Symbolic of her flagging campaign, Hillary feels irresistably drawn towards the Exit door.
Best of attmay
"Ted Kennedy is dying. Someone's gotta drink all that unused Congressional hooch."
Best of Steve O
Stay back Scotty! It needs salt!
Best of Double the U
More proof that Charlie Sheen is a sex addict as he goes after Mrs. Clinton.
Best of Kaptain Krude
No wait, a women is like a beer. They taste good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one. But you can't stop at just one woman....so I said, if you want the money, you have to come and get it, 'cause I don't know where it is you phony... you make me wanna wretch."
Best of Seoulman (R)
"I'm sorry Sentator Clinton, you will have to come with us. There have been complaints from ... well just about everyone.
28 comments:
"This is the first time I've ever been drunk on something other than power."
After a little liquid courage, Hillary is ready for the sniper fire.
The drinks: Seven and Seven. The in-flight movie: Obacolypse Now.
Paul's idea to super-glue Hillary's hand to the overhead rack to keep her vertical, while expedient, failed to consider the concept of bathroom breaks.
"Oh George Stephanopolis, that's just wonderful! Just like old times, Sugar. HEY! Watch the black cherry back there, buster! Remember what I did to Vince when he tried that 'Oops, I missed' stuff on me."
After four separate external pacemakers failed to register a heartbeat in Hillary, staffers began to realize that the devices were not, in fact, defective.
Ok, her emotion chip is malfunctioning. Let me just find the on/off switch here.....
I can't believe the little bitch dumped me for some dweeb named Weiner. Get me another friggin' drink!
In a parallel universe, Fembot 1.0 eliminated all possibilities of the invention gaining traction with a paying public...
♪ Oh, sweet mystery of life at last I've found you... ♪
>Cackle<
"...then I gave BILL a pearl necklace. Schmuck. Pour me another three fingers of Cuervo, Jose..."
Oh, Oh, Ohmuhgaia!
Who put my cell phone on vibrate?
Symbolic of her flagging campaign, Hillary feels irresistably drawn towards the Exit door.
"Ohhhh dear Gaiaaaaa! Why of all yearsh did a chariz- charzgim- *charmizgatic* black guy have to run dish year?!??!?!" After one too many Glenfiddichs, the press corps discovers that Hillary is a maudlin drunk.
Hijackers: "You will give us what we demand, or we will execute Senator Clinton!"
Hillary: "Ohmigod NO, you IDIOTS! You're SUPPOSED to threaten them with something they DON'T want!!!"
"Ted Kennedy is dying. Someone's gotta drink all that unused Congressional hooch."
"[squeee!] Yesshir, *hic* we gots ourshelves some 'tailwind' up here, if y'know what I mean! [bblblblblorrrrt!]"
Stay back Scotty! It needs salt!
"I want to do her, before she's a nobody in about a week" the intern thought, with intensity.
January 2009. And Febuary, March, April, May, etc. 2009. Just set the cyborgs to auto-evil and get back to enjoying your undeserved power.*
*=If this becomes true, I'll seriously consider taking up drinking myself.
"And won't it be just great when we implement socialism?"
More proof that Charlie Sheen is a sex addict as he goes after Mrs. Clinton.
No wait, a women is like a beer. They taste good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one. But you can't stop at just one woman....so I said, if you want the money, you have to come and get it, 'cause I don't know where it is you phony... you make me wanna wretch."
I've said it before, I'll say it again: There truly is a Simpson quote for every occasion.
I'm a weavin' on a jet plane
Who knew losing could feel this good
Flying first class is great, but flying in no-class -- fantastic
This beats flying on a broom any day
"I'm sorry Sentator Clinton, you will have to come with us. There have been complaints from ... well just about everyone.
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