Friday, May 23, 2008

The Death of Tinkerbell

1. "See this kidney stone? Now do you understand why Senator McCain is such an ill-tempered crank?"

2. "It's Hillary Clinton's soul, see how it still gives off a faint, hellish glow."

3. "And this is the exact amount of rock cocaine Obama smoked before he said Iran was no threat to us."

4. The casting of Kenny Rogers and Kathy Najimy in the latest sequel came as a surprise to those who thought the Alien franchise had already hit rock bottom long ago.

5. "Did you just hear a tiny voice say, 'Mork calling Orson, Come in, Orson?'"

Best of Foz
When one chicken loves another chicken very very much...

Best of Silhouette
When the obsessively anal-retentive decorate Easter eggs, next on Fox.

Best of Jack Reacher
The Baldwin brothers' brains are represented by this vessel. Stephen's is the inside, while Alec's brain is the hard--but thin and brittle--shell.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Jim Henson takes a closer look at the damage to Beaker's nose.

Best of Chrees
Professor stereotype #431. Next up...the bowtie.

Best of mpur
Green-n-Gay Development Corp of San Francisco unveils their latest innovation in solar powered sex toys.

Best of Van Helsing
"It made my other fingers melt, let's see if it works on my pinky..."

Best of mega
"Jeez, I am sooooo sick of old guys trying to pick me up with the 'look at my cool pteradactyl egg' line."

Best of Steve O
The world's most elaborate setup for "pull my finger."

Best of Double the U
The Dad from "Family Ties" never returned to television but walked around random locations rambling about his "egg" theory to strangers.

Best of Two Dogs
Willie Nelson and Melissa Ethridge find the "Rising Phoenix" amulet. Hooray peyote!

Best of Seoulman (R)
the unibomber's other brother, the uni-egger

32 comments:

Double the U said...

No, no it is an egg in its shell... you are almost 25 years old, they never taught you this in school?

Foz said...

When one chicken loves another chicken very very much...

Silhouette said...

When the obsessively anal-retentive decorate Easter eggs, next on Fox.

Silhouette said...

Woman's thought bubble: "I have turned up my collar to indicate I am cool, but still all he sees are eggs, eggs, eggs!"

The Man said...

And as you can see, Andrew Sullivan's left testicle grew so large that his right one just shrivled up and all but disappeared.

Jack Reacher said...

Bob revels in the fact that his old plans for the "200 MPG carburetor" are once more in demand, and this time vows to make no mistakes.

Son Of The Godfather said...

The next installment of Indiana Jones takes place in 2011, with a Democratic administration: Indiana Jones and the Search for Eggs, Bread, and Milk.

Jack Reacher said...

The Baldwin brothers' brains are represented by this vessel. Stephen's is the inside, while Alec's brain is the hard--but thin and brittle--shell.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Flux capacitor... fluxing."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Can we eat it?"
"Ova my dead body!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

South Park ORA:
"Well done, Sarah... That's almost a full Couric, but we'll have to check with Z├╝rich's European Fecal Standards & Measurements Institute to confirm."

Son Of The Godfather said...

The execs at Fox's Program Development department lay another egg.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Carol, this is gonna sound... weird... but I have a strange desire to see you in a bacon bikini..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"She said something about being proud of her country for the first time, let out a loud 'squawk', then left this behind the podium."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I don't know if it's because I'm totally baked right now, but that is the most G..D. perfect potato chip I have ever seen."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Jim Henson takes a closer look at the damage to Beaker's nose.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Chicken embryo: "Do you f-ing mind? I'm trying to f-ing sleep!"

Chrees said...

Professor stereotype #431. Next up...the bowtie.

mpur said...

Green-n-Gay Development Corp of San Francisco unveils their latest innovation in solar powered sex toys.

Van Helsing said...

"It made my other fingers melt, let's see if it works on my pinky..."

Gagdad Bob said...

"With this invention, I will finally prove to the world that it is possible to make an omelet without breaking the egg!"

mega said...

"Jeez, I am sooooo sick of old guys trying to pick me up with the 'look at my cool pteradactyl egg' line."

mega said...

Maria thought she had seen it ALL with johns and their sick perversions. And then Mitchell the "archeologist" shows up. Five hours, holding an egg while Mitchell pokes at it with his pinky, getting more and more excited. Whatever. Bills gotta get paid.

Steve O said...

An elaborate setup for "pull my finger."

Double the U said...

"It's a magic egg! I laid it myself!"

Double the U said...

The Dad from "Family Ties" never returned to television but walked around random locations rambling about his "egg" theory to strangers.

Two Dogs said...

Willie Nelson and Melissa Ethridge find the "Rising Phoenix" amulet. Hooray peyote!

mega said...

2042 a.d.
In a world without hope....30 years after the Change, still no children had been born. The Elders watched themselves die off, without replacement. As this dismal existence trudged pointlessly on, the scientist and his assistant could not believe what they had found. A new world would be born, with hope and children and dancing and playing and squeals of delight .... and ... and ... oh wait, it's a chicken egg. Sorry.

Seoulman (R) said...

My proctologist said this wouldn't hurt a bit, what do you think

Seoulman (R) said...

the real way Cadbury eggs are made

Seoulman (R) said...

the unibomber's other brother, the uni-egger

Seoulman (R) said...

Despite a seemingly perfect argument, scientists remain unconvinced that this is how Senator Byrd (D) began