Saturday, May 31, 2008

Crazee Pine Head Seeks Crazee Candee

Fred Miranda


1. Now we know why Wilson spent so much time peeping over the fence. Tim Allen's kids were teh hawt!

2. "Maybe these pine needles will cover up the smell of your rancid flatulence. Nope."

3. "Black socks with shorts? Excuse me while I hide my face in these sharp, stinging pine needles."

4. Traumatized by the encounter, the young Vulcan would go on to become a very strict, very confused librarian.

5. A creepy pervert asks Billy if he needs help with his 'putz.'

Best of Chrees
"Dude, camouflage is not going to help you get it through the windmill."

Best of Double the U
The hardest hole on the mini-putt-putt course was the headless golfer hole.

Best of Submariner
What you talkin' 'bout, Sulu?

Best of mklasing
Suddenly Timmy was attacked by a crazy one-armed pine-headed man with a wrist band fetish.

Best of mega
A strange mutuation had left his whole family feeling "right" in trees, and, I don't know, off-balance or just weird or something on land. And, sure, Kostner was interested in the idea.

Best of prince of leaves
"Conifer? Damn near killed 'er!"

Best of prince of leaves
After a detention spent with mouth- and throat-cancer amputees, young Timmy vows never to use Skoal again as long as he lives.

Best of curly
“Let’s go to the 19th Hole afterwards and try to pick up on some Entwives.”

Best of Rodney Dill
"No Timmy, I said Ash Borer."

Best of mpur
Uhm, dude, your left cone is hanging out.

29 comments:

Chrees said...

"Dude, camouflage is not going to help you get it through the windmill."

Double the U said...

The hardest hole on the mini-putt-putt course was the headless golfer hole.

Submariner said...

Putters by Spalding.
Makeup by Ed Wood.

Submariner said...

So, Timmy, if I kissed your golf balls, would it make your putter flutter?

Submariner said...

What say you Timmy? Should we leave here, go back to my place, and practice driving the ol' ball?

Submariner said...

What you talkin' 'bout, Sulu?

mega said...

Yet again, a Zargathian f**ks up the simple task of getting a good satellite shot of a planet's local inhabitants so the invading force can design effective camouflage. One little tree blocking the camera, and an entire conquering force of ridiculous-looking man-foliage was viewed with deep suspicion, from the get-go.

mklasing said...

Suddenly Timmy was attacked by a crazy one-armed pine-headed man with a wrist band fetish.

Rodney Dill said...

Ever seen a grown conifer nekkid, Billy?

Rodney Dill said...

"It was hell growing up with Euell Gibbons as my dad."

mega said...

Forty years later, Norm still hadn't gotten over the whole 'Nam jungle warfare thing.

mega said...

A strange mutuation had left his whole family feeling "right" in trees, and, I don't know, off-balance or just weird or something on land. And, sure, Kostner was interested in the idea.

prince of leaves said...

"Conifer? Damn near killed 'er!"

prince of leaves said...

After a detention spent with mouth- and throat-cancer amputees, young Timmy vows never to use Skoal again as long as he lives.

prince of leaves said...

"You overcome it - you have to," observes Ssgt. Smith of his ordeal at the hands of Al Qaeda. "I wasn't about to let my injuries keep me from living a full life."

Steve O said...

What er ya lookin' at me that way fir?

Submariner said...

The fir headgear? You ever been around when Aunt Hillary queefs?

curly said...

Mister Carbon Credits goes golfing.

curly said...

“Let’s go to the 19th Hole afterwards and try to pick up on some Entwives.”

curly said...

For some unknown reason, the tree’s nuts reminded the paranoid schizophrenic of a very bad Peri Como movie.

curly said...

“Uncle George, your ‘Michael Jackson meets Grizzly Adams’ shtick is really creeping out the kids.”

curly said...

“…it’s called Napalm Shaving Cream and you should try it.”

Rodney Dill said...

"No Timmy, I said Ash Borer."

Rodney Dill said...

"Yes you should wash your balls every hole."

mandible bore said...

Not a caption, but for some inexplicable reason this reminds me of the Darth Vader impersonator who launched an assault on the Jedi church

mpur said...

Uhm, dude, your left cone is hanging out.

Mr. Right said...

For some reason, Steve found himself pining for the fjords.

Mr. Right said...

Like a rose under the april snow
I was always certain love would grow
Love ageless and evergreen...

Mr. Right said...

"The best part? Well, every Christmas, an angel comes and perches atop my head!"