Monday, May 12, 2008

"Aunty Em! Aunty Em!"


1. "My campaign HQ is completely trashed! Damn you, Cat in the Hat! Damn you to Hell!"

2. "All right, which one of you smartasses left the cardboard cutout of Dennis Haysbert on my porch!"

3. "Hey, you kids! Get out of my yard!" Hillary positions herself for McCain's VP spot.

4. Despondent over her rejection, Hillary declares her house in Chappaqua to be the new nation of 'Hillaryia,' raises her national flag, and belts out the national anthem, "I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar!"

5. Hillary's try-out for Jeremiah Wright's Gospel Choir wasn't a complete disaster, he let her keep the robe.

Very Brady Best of Silhouette
Hillary courts the Ron Paul voters by saying she is Mrs. Paul.

Best of Seoulman (R)
It's raining, it's pouring, the crazy lady's boring

Best of The Man
"Don't cry for me West Virginia"

Best of mpur
Which one of you bitches stole my pantsuit?

Best of Rodney Dill
SERENITY NOW!

Best of attmay
"Jeez, you spend one night with the Gorton's fisherman and the whole world knows about it by 8:30 the next morning!"

Best of sonicfrog
Hillary was mighty ticked when Curious George stole her famed Stetson, revealing her to be the mysterious Man With the Yellow Hat

Best of mega
As Hilldog stood on the porch, alternately saying "Who do you trust to make it rain? Barack can't make it rain" and cackling to no one in particular, Chelsea sadly signed the commitment papers and quietly drove off.

Best of curly
“Despite my ridiculous yellow raincoat, I don't feel no ways retarded.”

Best of shoechick
Dammit, the house was supposed to land on her, not next to her.

Best of Army of Mom
Which one of you a55holes gave me the raincoat that highlights my cankles?

35 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

If you can't be the lead dog, you might as well just stay on the porch.

Seoulman (R) said...

My sister! Look what you've done. I'll get you my pretty and your little dog too!

Seoulman (R) said...

Hillary Clinton remarked that it was difficult to avoid the notice of snipers and deer hunters in that ensamble

Seoulman (R) said...

Have you seen my husband? He's this big

Seoulman (R) said...

It's raining, it's pouring, the crazy lady's boring

Seoulman (R) said...

Don't cry for me Argentina

The Man said...

"Don't cry for me West Virginia"

mpur said...

Which one of you bitches stole my pantsuit?

The Man said...

"ahh come back Bill, she meant nothing to me. Really. It looks worse than it actually is"

Rodney Dill said...

SERENITY NOW!

Silhouette said...

Similar to her faked southern accent, Hillary courts the Ron Paul voters by saying she is Mrs. Paul.

Silhouette said...

"I'm singing in the general vicinity of rain, while actually quite dry on my porch and protected by armed security."

/doesn't quite have the same beat as the original

attmay said...

"Jeez, you spend one night with the Gorton's fisherman and the whole world knows about it by 8:30 the next morning!"

attmay said...

Sorry, Hill, but your 50-foot loogies can't save this campaign now.

sonicfrog said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sonicfrog said...

Hillary was mighty ticked when Curious George stole her famed Stetson, revealing her to be the mysterious Man With the Yellow Hat

mklasing said...

Hillary uncut:

"Screw you, I know I look fat in this--it's a Poncho you faceless non-voting illegal."

mklasing said...

Hillary cut:

"You silly (cackle), I know I look as big as a Texas Polygamist in this silly rain gear."

Gagdad Bob said...

That's one dress that'll never be stained.

mega said...

Hillary pulled out ALL the stops to nail down the W.Va vote, complete with a secret service agent playing "personal manservant", against his better judgment.

mega said...

As Hilldog stood on the porch, alternately saying "Who do you trust to make it rain? Barack can't make it rain" and cackling to no one in particular, Chelsea sadly signed the commitment papers and quietly drove off.

mega said...

He thought about pushing her over the edge, but only for a moment. Those shrill comments about how whitey won't vote for Obama, and all that. But man, it just wasn't worth it...

curly said...

Code Yellow’s motto was “Big Sis Has Gone Amiss.”

curly said...

“Despite my ridiculous yellow raincoat, I don't feel no ways retarded.”

curly said...

Hill’s ‘Stigmata’ speech proved to be far more damaging to her campaign than even her infamous “Sniper Fire’ speech.

curly said...

Who but the Hidabeast could turn $1000 into $100,000 in six months by investing in raincoat futures?

curly said...

Yellow, the color of the cheese eating surrender monkey wing of the Democrat Party.

mega said...

"Mommy! Mommy! The crazy lady is on her porch screaming about cactuses again!"

"You be nice, Sally. She was once a United States Senator. And it's 'caucuses', dear."

shoechick said...

Dammit, the house was supposed to land on her, not next to her.

Kaptain Krude said...

Hillary finally snapped under the strains of the campaign. "Come on, Obama! Take your best shot! Come on, I dare you! Yeah, that's what I thought! Too chicken to show your face around here! Bawk-bawk-bawk Baaaaaaawk!"

"Uh, Senator Clinton? Senator Obama is in Cape Girardeau right now. You know, the home of Rush Limbaugh?"

"Yeah, he better be!"

Army of Mom said...

*I'm singing in the rain
Just singing in the rain
What a glorious feelin'
I'm happy again
I'm laughing at Barack
So dark up above
The superdelegates in my heart
And I'm ready for Denver
Let the stormy clouds chase
Everyone from the place
Come on with the rain
I've a smile on my face
I walk down the lane
With a happy refrain
Just singin',
Singin' in the rain*

Army of Mom said...

What do you mean I have a black man on my back? No, I don't think of Barack like that. Huh? Oh, there is a REAL black man behind my back. Ahhhh.

Army of Mom said...

Following in Bill's footsteps, Hillary picks a campaign song. Except, instead of Fleetwood Mac's Don't Stop Believing, she went with Lindsay Buckingham's Trouble.

Army of Mom said...

Which one of you a55holes gave me the raincoat that highlights my cankles?

Army of Mom said...

*I feel pretty, oh so pretty*