1. "Never gonna give you up/Never gonna let you down..."
2. Another group of converts accept Barack Obama as their personal savior.
3. A flood strikes the tiny African state of Jemimaland.
4. Unfortunately, Ibenezer African Methodist Episcopal Church chose to have their baptism downstream from the Bob Evans rendering plant.
5. The horrible day Rosie O'Donnell stopped retaining water.
Best of mandible claw
Leaked synopsis for upcoming HBO special "Recount 2: Levee": Chief of public works attempts to carry out Nagin's revival plan for city, but the flood of chocolate mixes with arsenic-laced water, creating a race of radioactive chocolate zombies.
Best of Rodney Dill
Soylent Chocolate is made out of Black People!
Best of The Man
Tonight on the season finale of "How it's Made": Chocolate Milk.
Best of Jack Reacher
When he achieved fame and fortune, the Tidy Bowl Man forgot his humble upbringing, and left behind those who worked so hard to raise him in the absence of his own mother.
Best of Silhouette
"Calgon, you mutha-f------, take me away!"
Best of mklasing
Casting a demon possessed woman as "Florida Evans" in "The Good Times Movie" turned out to be a terrible mistake when she summoned the flood of Satan during filming.
Best of mpur
Disneyland Ethiopia's water ride.Still way better than EuroDisney.
Best of attmay
WARE IZ MAH BUKKIT?
Best of Submariner
♪ Ol' black water, keep on rollin' ♪
Best of Double the U
Rain drops keep falling on the undead