1. Billy's parents hired Debby Lafave as a home-tutor. Years later, when they were too infirm to take care of themselves, he put them in the best rest-home money could buy.
2. A young Andrew Sullivan is horrified by his baby-sitter's inability to accessorize.
3. Eliot Spitzer junior is shocked that his father pays $1,500 an hour for such a manifestly incompetent baby-sitter.
4. The young Dutch boy required years of reparative therapy after being pawed over by the porky gay Shatneresque TV Star.
5. While Billy was transfixed, The Borrowers constructed a working gondola to help them access the higher items in the house.
Best of Army of Dad
Apparently these are a few of his favorite things too.
Best of Chrees
"Hi, my name is booby. I mean Bobbie. And I like video games and boobies. I mean baseball. I...uhhhh...have to go to the boobies. I mean bathroom."
Best of GOP & College
I swear! I haven't been weened!
Best of Rodney Dill
"Where's the blue feet?"
Best of Submariner
Thought bubble; "I'm pretty sure I know why dad always takes her home..."
Best of Son Of The Godfather
Thought bubble: "Remember these for later use. Remember these for later use..."
Best of mklasing
In organizing his childhood trauma defense, Spitzer's criminal lawyers decide to mark this Exhibit 1.
Best of lawhawk
Kid, you don't know what you're messing with. It's not like flying the T-36 back home.
Best of Van Helsing
Next on the list of wonderful discoveries: beer.
Best of attmay
"Don't give me that 'just performing a mammogram' crap again or you're going to be the only denture wearer in the second grade."
47 comments:
I CAN HAZ MILK?
OMG, this is what I have been missing by playing all those damn video games! Why didn't anyone tell me?!?!
the Teacher's Lounge, 2008
Apparently these are a few of his favorite things too.
"Hi, my name is booby. I mean Bobbie. And I like video games and boobies. I mean baseball. I...uhhhh...have to go to the boobies. I mean bathroom."
1) Wow! These is better than on the computer screen!!
2) I swear! I haven't been weened!
3) Mrs. Jones, Bobby wanted to go motor boating, but I don't know you stored the boat.
"Where's the blue feet?"
"Where's the blue feet?"
Oy vey.
Too much Animal Planet, huh?
"Billy, if you misbehave I'm sending you straight to bed!"
"Yeah... That would be... uhm... torture..."
Word of warning to anyone curious about V's link in #4... YOU WILL NEED A BRAINSCRUBBER! ick.
"Do you smell bacon?"
"Hey doll, you look familiar... Do you remember seeing a kid flying around in a Viper recently?"
"I swear... As my babysitter, you can have your boyfriend over, drink Jack Daniels, smoke, f*ck, whatever the hell you want... All for the price of a measley nipple-peak. Do we have a deal?"
The new Nintendo WEEEE!
Those look vaguely familiar, but I'll need a closer look to be sure...
Evenin' SOTG.
You're, uh, no - don't tell me; I never forget a nipple, er, face...
How did that kid master my "Thursday Babe" stare?
Thought bubble; "I'm pretty sure I know why dad always takes her home..."
Some of us can remember the EXACT MOMENT when puberty hit.
Greets, amigo!
What say we go sit together in the pink chair in the hall?
Thought bubble: "Remember these for later use. Remember these for later use..."
Thought bubble; "I am soooooooo glad she's my sister. And that I know when she showers..."
"So... Second cousin, huh?... That's not like, really related or anything, right?..."
Thought bubble; "Yep! No doubt about it - I'm gonna need glasses."
Young William would later grow up to become the first "black President".
Now ist der time at Schprocket's vhen ve Schprock it...
Thought bubble: "I would SO Lewinsky all over those puppies..."
Stephanie? Now I know what toys I want during "bath time"...
Thought bubble: "Maybe one day... If I collect firearms and become an expert at Guitar Hero... Maybe grow my hair out and re-do Mom's basement...Maybe one day..."
Little Devil On Billy's Shoulder Whispering Into His Ear:
"Just Do It!"
Thought bubble; "I wonder if Stephanie would slap me if I touched those? More importantly - do I care?"
Sorry amigo, changed my thought and screwed up your follow-on "fixed-it-for-ya".
Thought Bubble: "If she's got weed in there, this may be the best night of my life..."
How most of us look trying to determine the letters in the verification words.
Mom and Dad should have been clued in when he started wearing his "LICK-FEST" shirt everywhere.
"Show 'em to me now, or I'll scream that you touched me where I pee. Do I make myself clear?"
Stop by my site, SOTG - Think you'll enjoy the latest couple.
In organizing his childhood trauma defense, Spitzer's criminal lawyers decide to mark this Exhibit 1.
Kid, you don't know what you're messing with. It's not like flying the T-36 back home.
“Paper or plastic?” Such probing questions went with the territory when babysitting Sheryl Crows’ kids.
“Mommy said that even though your fake boobs cost just $3,000, Daddy was going to be paying at least $3,000,000 for them before it was all over with.”
“I hear Hooters is hiring rocket scientists.”
“Whaddayasay me, you, and those two beauties form our own polygamist cult?”
Next on the list of wonderful discoveries: beer.
"Look, I know what you're trying to pull. Don't give me that 'just performing a mammogram' crap again or you're going to be the only denture wearer in the second grade."
Hey toots, if you are going to baby sit me, whatta say I keep an eye on those two babies?
I don't CARE if they're real, Bambi - they're FABulous!
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