Monday, April 28, 2008

Stick to Bowling, Hussein

M Klasing


1. "No, Mr. Sullivan. You may not put Rashaan Salaam's Heisman trophy in your ass!"

2. And then, the Merrill-Lynch bull broke through the wall, trampled the Obamassiah to death, and spared America a sequel to the Carter administration.

3. "Back, Oprah, Back! Don't make me go all blunt instrument on you!"

4. "Yes, I am a big fan of the proletarian sport of footballs. How about that local squadron?"

5. "Yeah, President Hussein, while you were showing off your moves, your buddies in Hamas just detonated a nuke outside the window. See you in Hell."


Best of Two Dogs
THE Ohio State University fields the most promising Heisman hopeful in years.

Best of curly
Trying to appeal to the redneck demographic, BO changes his name to Barack Heisman Obama.

Best of curly
“Well I'm gonna to go then. And I don't need any of this. I don't need this stuff, and I don't need you. I don't need anything except this.” In the remake of the Steve Martin classic, Obama plays the role of “The Jerk”.

Best of Chrees
The Heisman curse--the difficulty in a star amateur turning pro--strikes yet again.

Best of Whacko
While Obama fantasizes, he bitterly recalls that he couldn't go out for sports in school because he spent so much time with head shoved in the crapper.

Best of Shayne
With a short juke to the right and a quick move to the left, Obama manages to escape from OJ's house without getting slashed.

Best of Seoulman (R)
Can't touch this... Stop Barak time

Best of Army of Mom
The bull on the wall recognizes the BS in the room even if no one else does.

21 comments:

Two Dogs said...

THE Ohio State University fields the most promising Heisman hopeful in years.

(Two for one, people!)

curly said...

Trying to appeal to the redneck demographic, BO changes his name to Barack Heisman Obama.

curly said...

Too high-falutin' to hold up a liquor store like one of his typical supporters, BO robs an antique store.

curly said...

“Well I'm gonna to go then. And I don't need any of this. I don't need this stuff, and I don't need you. I don't need anything except this.” In the remake of the Steve Martin classic, Obama plays the role of “The Jerk”.

Chrees said...

The Heisman curse--the difficulty in a star amateur turning pro--strikes yet again.

Whacko said...

While Obama fantasizes, he bitterly recalls that he couldn't go out for sports in school because he spent so much time with head shoved in the crapper.

Shayne said...

With a short juk to the right and a quick move to the left, Obama manages to escape from OJ's house without getting slashed.

Shayne said...

Is it just me, or does that trophy hanging on the wall behind the Obama-messiah look like Hillary?

Double the U said...

So then I posed for the Heinzman trophy like this...

mklasing said...

Unfortunately for Obama, Satan interpreted his pose as a "shift to the right" and sent the fires of hell through the window to consume him.

Seoulman (R) said...

Can't touch this... Stop Barak time

Seoulman (R) said...

Al Gore may have invented football, but I perfected it.

Seoulman (R) said...

I would be perfect for football... I can bob, weave, dodge, and run... Dang I'm good.

Seoulman (R) said...

I would like to thank my crazy pastor, racist grandmother, missing father, murderous cousin and all of my communist supporters for this trophy.

Seoulman (R) said...

Unfortunately the festive mood of hope and change was interupted by hysterical laughter.

Seoulman (R) said...

Carter had his killer rabbit, Clinton her sniper, Dukakis his tank, and now the Democratic Party is proud to present - Barak's trophy.

Army of Mom said...

*bowing with a we're not worthy piece of worship to Curly for this:

“Well I'm gonna to go then. And I don't need any of this. I don't need this stuff, and I don't need you. I don't need anything except this.” In the remake of the Steve Martin classic, Obama plays the role of “The Jerk”.

Dude, I almost spit Diet Coke all over the keyboard.

Army of Mom said...

The bull on the wall recognizes the BS in the room even if no one else does.

Army of Mom said...

Out of view are some of those voters clinging to their guns and religion ... that explains why BO is running.

Kaptain Krude said...

"Well, I stand up next to a mountain,
And I chop it down with the edge of my hand!" Unknown to most Democrats, Barack was prone to flashbacks.

Rodney Dill said...

"Ahh, but the strawberries that's... that's where I had them. They laughed at me and made jokes but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt and with... geometric logic... that a duplicate key to the wardroom icebox DID exist, and I'd have produced that key if they hadn't of pulled the Caine out of action. I, I, I know now they were only trying to protect some fellow officers..."