Saturday, April 12, 2008

Retro Saturday


1. "And the weather in Stepford today, partly cloudy and cooler..."

2. "And not only are those typical white people in small town Pennsylvania a bunch of armed, cracker religious nuts," Obama continued. "They don't even have color TV."

3. "Mild weather dominates the East Coast, while a fleet of giant asterisks wreaks havoc on the upper Midwest."

4. Should I tell him the ravenous earwig is about to enter his auditory canal? No, he'd just get angry with me.

5. "And the answer to yesterday's trivia question, 'Florida.' Florida is the only state shaped like a penis."

Wicked Best of Son Of The Godfather
"So that's the new border in the Absolut ad campaign... Frankly Barbara, I say f*ck 'em."

Best of curly
America’s asterisks have come home to roost.

Best of curly
“…and in other news, my shipment of heroin is currently off the coast of South Carolina.”

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Borrowing from Curly: "And we both stay happy and mellow with heroin, known on the street as 'MILD H'."

Best of curly
“…and remember: no two asterisks are ever the same.”

Best of Army of Dad
Biggest. Dandruff Flakes. Ever.

Best of prince of leaves
Vicky's thought bubble: "Sure, you just keep feeling me up on camera, Steve...one day, I'm going to break through that glass ceiling, and when I do, I'm going to take one of the jagged shards in my bare hands and gut you like a fish."

Best of Seoulman (R)
"If you think the midwest is frigid, you haven't met my wife"

Best of Submariner
What Judy MEANT to say was that you can expect high winds pushing south from Canada, bringing flurries; NOT "watch for a clold, wet blow job from the north tonight."

Best of Submariner
"...and tonight's weather word is frottage. Have a great evening, we will."

Best of Mr. Right
"...And as you should all be able to tell from those little points in the front of Marie's sweater, a massive cold front just moved through the Channel 7 viewing area tonight..."

Best of mklasing
After TattleTales was cancelled Burt Convey had a short stint as a weatherman before he finally couldn't take it anymore and simply shot himself.

30 comments:

curly said...

“Speaking of Inconvenient Truth, here’s another one: Joan is wearing a bra completely made out of bacon!”

curly said...

“We put a big ‘L’ over Canada because “Loserville’ wouldn’t fit.”

curly said...

“…and unless we limit ourselves to one square of toilet paper per dump immediately, those huge H’s will cover the planet!”

curly said...

America’s asterisks have come home to roost.

curly said...

“…and in other news, my shipment of heroin is currently off the coast of South Carolina.”

Son Of The Godfather said...

Borrowing from Curly:

"And we both stay happy and mellow with heroin, known on the street as 'MILD H'."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Did Burt Convey and Steve Lawrence have a child?

Son Of The Godfather said...

"...In other news, if they don't invent a Chyron pretty quickly, I'll be blowing my brains out all over Helen here, live on your television screen."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"So look out for the ginormous snowflakes that can reach the size of an entire state!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"So that's the new border in the Absolut ad campaign... Frankly Barbara, I say f*ck 'em."

curly said...

“…and remember: no two asterisks are ever the same.”

attmay said...

Jim Vickerson the weather ventriloquist and his dummy, Debbie, weeknights at 11 on Channel 7 Action News.

Army of Dad said...

Biggest. Dandruff Flakes. Ever.

prince of leaves said...

Vicky's thought bubble: "Sure, you just keep feeling me up on camera, Steve...one day, I'm going to break through that glass ceiling, and when I do, I'm going to take one of the jagged shards in my bare hands and gut you like a fish."

prince of leaves said...

In 1970, this was actually sexy.

Seoulman (R) said...

After Carol divoced him and took the house and kids, Mike Brady left the architecture business to become a weatherman.

Seoulman (R) said...

Before there was Barak's hao of light, there was Judy's halo of snow

Seoulman (R) said...

"It's raining men, Amen"

Seoulman (R) said...

"If you think the midwest is frigid, you haven't met my wife"

Van Helsing said...

"Gosh it feels good when you do that with your finger."

curly said...

How the Obama spin machine hopes the Dumbocraps will view his buddy Bill Ayers of the Weather Underground.

Jack Reacher said...

"Welcome to the Siamese Twins Weather Update!"

Jack Reacher said...

"...and so Channel 7 News is offering a reward for information leading to the arrest and conviction of the individuals responsible for drawing this big black line on our map."

Submariner said...

What Judy MEANT to say was that you can expect high winds pushing south from Canada, bringing flurries; NOT "watch for a clold, wet blow job from the north tonight."

Submariner said...

Her thought bubble; "Steve really ought to think about trimming those nose hairs more often..."

Submariner said...

"...and tonight's weather word is frottage. Have a great evening, we will."

Mr. Right said...

"...And as you should all be able to tell from those little points in the front of Marie's sweater, a massive cold front just moved through the Channel 7 viewing area tonight..."

mklasing said...

After TattleTales was cancelled Burt Convey had a short stint as a weatherman before he finally couldn't take it anymore and simply shot himself.

Chrees said...

"Dan 'the Weatherman' Thompson, a Channel 7 staple for 30 years, was laid to rest Saturday. Ironically it rained at his funeral, even though the forecast was for clear skies."

curly said...

"Expect nothing but snow jobs until the general elections in November."