1. "And the weather in Stepford today, partly cloudy and cooler..."
2. "And not only are those typical white people in small town Pennsylvania a bunch of armed, cracker religious nuts," Obama continued. "They don't even have color TV."
3. "Mild weather dominates the East Coast, while a fleet of giant asterisks wreaks havoc on the upper Midwest."
4. Should I tell him the ravenous earwig is about to enter his auditory canal? No, he'd just get angry with me.
5. "And the answer to yesterday's trivia question, 'Florida.' Florida is the only state shaped like a penis."
Wicked Best of Son Of The Godfather
"So that's the new border in the Absolut ad campaign... Frankly Barbara, I say f*ck 'em."
Best of curly
America’s asterisks have come home to roost.
Best of curly
“…and in other news, my shipment of heroin is currently off the coast of South Carolina.”
Best of Son Of The Godfather
Borrowing from Curly: "And we both stay happy and mellow with heroin, known on the street as 'MILD H'."
Best of curly
“…and remember: no two asterisks are ever the same.”
Best of Army of Dad
Biggest. Dandruff Flakes. Ever.
Best of prince of leaves
Vicky's thought bubble: "Sure, you just keep feeling me up on camera, Steve...one day, I'm going to break through that glass ceiling, and when I do, I'm going to take one of the jagged shards in my bare hands and gut you like a fish."
Best of Seoulman (R)
"If you think the midwest is frigid, you haven't met my wife"
Best of Submariner
What Judy MEANT to say was that you can expect high winds pushing south from Canada, bringing flurries; NOT "watch for a clold, wet blow job from the north tonight."
Best of Submariner
"...and tonight's weather word is frottage. Have a great evening, we will."
Best of Mr. Right
"...And as you should all be able to tell from those little points in the front of Marie's sweater, a massive cold front just moved through the Channel 7 viewing area tonight..."
Best of mklasing
After TattleTales was cancelled Burt Convey had a short stint as a weatherman before he finally couldn't take it anymore and simply shot himself.
30 comments:
“Speaking of Inconvenient Truth, here’s another one: Joan is wearing a bra completely made out of bacon!”
“We put a big ‘L’ over Canada because “Loserville’ wouldn’t fit.”
“…and unless we limit ourselves to one square of toilet paper per dump immediately, those huge H’s will cover the planet!”
America’s asterisks have come home to roost.
“…and in other news, my shipment of heroin is currently off the coast of South Carolina.”
Borrowing from Curly:
"And we both stay happy and mellow with heroin, known on the street as 'MILD H'."
Did Burt Convey and Steve Lawrence have a child?
"...In other news, if they don't invent a Chyron pretty quickly, I'll be blowing my brains out all over Helen here, live on your television screen."
"So look out for the ginormous snowflakes that can reach the size of an entire state!"
"So that's the new border in the Absolut ad campaign... Frankly Barbara, I say f*ck 'em."
“…and remember: no two asterisks are ever the same.”
Jim Vickerson the weather ventriloquist and his dummy, Debbie, weeknights at 11 on Channel 7 Action News.
Biggest. Dandruff Flakes. Ever.
Vicky's thought bubble: "Sure, you just keep feeling me up on camera, Steve...one day, I'm going to break through that glass ceiling, and when I do, I'm going to take one of the jagged shards in my bare hands and gut you like a fish."
In 1970, this was actually sexy.
After Carol divoced him and took the house and kids, Mike Brady left the architecture business to become a weatherman.
Before there was Barak's hao of light, there was Judy's halo of snow
"It's raining men, Amen"
"If you think the midwest is frigid, you haven't met my wife"
"Gosh it feels good when you do that with your finger."
How the Obama spin machine hopes the Dumbocraps will view his buddy Bill Ayers of the Weather Underground.
"Welcome to the Siamese Twins Weather Update!"
"...and so Channel 7 News is offering a reward for information leading to the arrest and conviction of the individuals responsible for drawing this big black line on our map."
What Judy MEANT to say was that you can expect high winds pushing south from Canada, bringing flurries; NOT "watch for a clold, wet blow job from the north tonight."
Her thought bubble; "Steve really ought to think about trimming those nose hairs more often..."
"...and tonight's weather word is frottage. Have a great evening, we will."
"...And as you should all be able to tell from those little points in the front of Marie's sweater, a massive cold front just moved through the Channel 7 viewing area tonight..."
After TattleTales was cancelled Burt Convey had a short stint as a weatherman before he finally couldn't take it anymore and simply shot himself.
"Dan 'the Weatherman' Thompson, a Channel 7 staple for 30 years, was laid to rest Saturday. Ironically it rained at his funeral, even though the forecast was for clear skies."
"Expect nothing but snow jobs until the general elections in November."
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