Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Eye Bleach! Where's the Damn Eye Bleach!

Army of Mom


1, Laid off from the mill, small-town Pennsylvanian Wayne Dean Caprolski clings to his guns and his tight, tight speedoes.

2. Andrew Sullivan re-imagined as heavy-metal survivalist.

3. A new day of sexuality equality dawns on Cap This as shoechick, ochagirl, and Army of Mom can now be the target of "Your prom date is Here" captions.

4. The Brady Campaign distributes this picture whenever gun control legislation comes up in Congress.

5. When Wayne Dean took his own testicles hostage, the police unanimously voted not to negotiate.


Best of Two Dogs
Holy Christ, where did you get this, who in mortal Hell took the photo and why, and why do you hate humanity?

Best of divine miss m
Proof that Neanderthals used tools after all.

Best of Jack Reacher
Memo to Match.com: Sometimes it's NOT okay to look.

Best of Silhouette
It's not the hot bod or the ammo or even the rock star guitars that turn me on the most. It's that he still sleeps in a toddler bed.

Best of curly
The beefy biker boffed a box of bitter bullets. If the beefy biker boffed a box of bitter bullets, how many bitter bullets did the beefy biker boff?

Best of Chrees
Send lawyers, guns and barf bags...

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Hold back men, he's got a hostage... A teeny, tiny, purple-helmeted hostage."

Best of Son Of The Godfather
The only thing saving the wall behind me from displaying my brain matter is the fact he's not wearing a bacon bikini.

Best of Adjustah
"Hey, why has nobody responded yet to my Facebook friend requests???"

Best of attmay
OSRA*: "My eyes! The Goggles do nothing!"

* Obligatory Simpsons Reference Alert

Best of ochagirl
If you need me, I'll be waiting for the technicolor van that takes me to the pacifist lesbian commune.

Best of mklasing
Unfortunately for Obama, Bruiser is one of the Pennsylvania Superdelegates.

Best of GregMan
Man, Barack Hussein Obama has really let himself get bitter...

Best of jeff
Obi Wan: "I just heard a million voices scream in terror, 'Pull the trigger, pull the trigger!'"

62 comments:

Two Dogs said...

Holy Christ, where did you get this, who in mortal Hell took the photo and why, and why do you hate humanity?

Anyhoo....I got nothing right now, gotta go use the brain-brush.

metalgarth said...

Yeah, I watch a lot of Star Trek! How can you tell?

metalgarth said...

So that's what happened to the extra drummer in 38 Special!

divine miss m said...

Proof that Neanderthals used tools after all.

Chrees said...

That's it. I officially hate Wednesdays.

Oh, and Dante called...they just added a 10th circle of hell for V the K.

Chrees said...

"Yeah, Ted Nugent asked if he could crash here for a while and I said sure. You ought to see the stuff he brought...wait, I'll send a picture..."

Jack Reacher said...

"This picture would be totally bitchin' if my cousin hadn't borrowed my pink AR-15."

Jack Reacher said...

Memo to Match.com: Sometimes it's NOT okay to look.

Jack Reacher said...

Even before he landed at Camp X-Ray, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed's lodgings were rather spartan.

shoechick said...

Hey, VtheK, don't forget Silhouette! She needs a prom date too!

shoechick said...

I didn't know it was possible to be bald and have a mullet at the same time.

shoechick said...

Hey ladies, back off, this one is mine.


Gag...I just threw up in my mouth a little.

The Man said...

Andrew Sullivan just checked his calender...it still wasn't Thursday.

Seoulman (R) said...

The hidden truth of the "Sex, Guns, Rock and Roll" philosophy

Seoulman (R) said...

"Welcome to the Jerry Springer Show! You will not believe our next guest. He's 40, living with his mother, collects guns and guitars and says that he is God's gift to women.

Let's all welcome

Seoulman (R) said...

I'm too sexy for Helen Keller

Seoulman (R) said...

Moments later, his home was stormed by the FBI and Todd was sent to Cuba, being suspected of what is commonly known as "eye terrorism."

Seoulman (R) said...

Sadly seconds after this photo was taken, Todd accidently pulled the trigger and lost vital pieces of his male anatomy.

Perhaps even more sadly, it really didn't matter.

Silhouette said...

It's not the hot bod or the ammo or even the rock star guitars that turn me on the most. It's that he still sleeps in a toddler bed.

Anonymous said...

It was rumored that, shortly before his untimely death, Ronnie Van Zandt fell into bouts of schizophrenia, jealously guarding his collection of playing cards and 8-Track tapes.

Anonymous said...

What do you get when you cross Rosie O'Donnell and a bitter, unemployed Klingon?

curly said...

The beefy biker boffed a box of bitter bullets. If the beefy biker boffed a box of bitter bullets, how many bitter bullets did the beefy biker boff?

Son Of The Godfather said...

V the K... OMG, Y, and WTF?
(LOL)

Son Of The Godfather said...

I laughed when the muzzies rioted over published pictures... I'm not laughing anymore.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Hold back men, he's got a hostage... A teeny, tiny, purple-helmeted hostage."

Anonymous said...

Guitar Hero is no longer cool after this pic.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Damnit Subby, could you turn off your f'in webcam?!?

Chrees said...

Send lawyers, guns and barf bags...

Son Of The Godfather said...

The only thing saving the wall behind me from displaying my brain matter is the fact he's not wearing a bacon bikini.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Just a request, V... Could you reposition the previous picture to the left of this new one?... Some of us might sleep better tonight.

Adjustah said...

"Dear User, you are now in violation of our Corporate Use of Internet policy..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Poster boy for background checks.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"You can have my gun when you pry it from my sweaty, greasy, Kentucky Fried Chicken scented fingers."

Son Of The Godfather said...

We title this picture:
Deliverance 2, Audience 0

Son Of The Godfather said...

When a picture makes you wonder if you could tolerate the taste of Drain-O before it delivers you to sweet, sweet death, that's usually a pretty good warning sign.

Son Of The Godfather said...

How nature says "Don't marry your cousin".

Adjustah said...

"The first rule of Naked Ape-man Gun Club is you do not talk about Naked Ape-man Gun Club..."

Adjustah said...

This proved the last "totally awesome" commercial idea for the 'Three Martini Lunch" crew in the Geico Advertising Department.

Adjustah said...

"Guns don't kill people. APES with guns kill people!" - Charleton Heston

What? Too soon?

Adjustah said...

"Hey, why has nobody responded yet to my Facebook friend requests???"

Chrees said...

Nobody move or the kitten with the viking helmet gets it.

Chrees said...

Reason #247 for security around American Idol judges: those who didn't get a ticket to Hollywood.

attmay said...

OSRA*: "My eyes! The Goggles do nothing!"

* Obligatory Simpsons Reference Alert

ochagirl said...

CANNOT UNSEE!

ochagirl said...

I've you need me, I'll be waiting for the technicolor van that takes me to the pacifist lesbian commune.

ochagirl said...

How sweet . . . he brought a choice of guns to shoot myself with after the alcohol wears off.

VW: sprrk - the sound of my throwing up a little in my mouth.

mklasing said...

Unfortunately for Obama, Bruiser is one of the Pennsylvania Superdelegates.

curly said...

The NRA’s internet search for Charlton Heston’s replacement as a spokesman has yielded an eclectic mix of entrants.

curly said...

Bitterless and pantsless, Jerome awaits the roosting chickens.

curly said...

Oddly enough, I have that Smith & Wesson .38 Revolver.

GregMan said...

The photograph that finally turned Elton John and Andrew Sullivan straight.

GregMan said...

Otto never could understand why his MySpace page never got any hits from supermodels.

GregMan said...

Man, Barack Hussein Obama has really let himself get bitter...

GregMan said...

After seeing this picture, ennui went off and shot itself in the head.

Army of Mom said...

"Hold back men, he's got a hostage... A teeny, tiny, purple-helmeted hostage."

Ohmigod. I was laughing so hard I almost threw up. *still laughing*

My work here is done in just providing this beautiful piece of art for all of you. *doing a curtsy*

Scary thing is that a gay friend of mine sent this to me. I don't even want to know where he found it.

jeff said...

Obi Wan: "I just heard a million voices scream in terror, 'Pull the trigger, pull the trigger!'"

Steve O said...

Guess which one fires blanks.

Steve O said...

Perhaps it's my genital rash? How'd you get this picture of me?

Whacko said...

Bruce always looked forward to Hard Liquer and Hand Gun nights at Tiger Stadium.

Army of Mom said...

SWM seeking SWF for days at the gun range followed by hot nights playing Guitar Hero. I'm often mistaken for the drummer from Lynard Skynard and can rock your world baby.

Anonymous said...

Guns, guts and guitars are what made America..well, crazy and fat apparently.

Anonymous said...

So THAT's what Slash really looks like!?