Monday, April 21, 2008

Buzz Lightbeer


1. "Waiter, this Chardonnay has the most deplorable nose."

2. "When you smoke as much crack as I do, your pee looks like this."

3. I don't wanna say Barack Hussein Obama is a light weight, but one sip of Schlitz Lite and Greta Van Susteren was looking good to him.

4. Samuel Adams - Always a good choice. Barack Hussein Obama - Not so much.

5. "There! I choked down some of your crappy beer. Do you stupid bitter small-town hicks like me now?"

6. "Am I masturbating under the table? Guilty as charged."

7. ORA: "OK, Londo, now that we've had a couple of drinks, introduce me to the hot Centauri chick sitting behind me."

8. It's hard to believe something so weak can leave such a bitter aftertaste and . But, enough about his debate performance...

9. "I was sure John Edwards was going to serve me tequila, the way he always goes on about 'swallowing the worm.'"

10. "So, what shall we toast, the glorious proletarian revolution, the victory of jihad over Zionism, or my personal favorite, killing whores?"

Best of metalgarth
Carl decided that Duff Dark was much better than Duff Lite, Duff Dry, Raspberry Duff and Tartar Control Duff.

Best of curly
Must. Not. Extend. Pinky. Finger.

Best of Submariner
When challenged about his Messiah-hood, he was only able to turn water into Stroh's bache.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Much like his wife, Obama refuses to swallow.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Clinging to his bitters.

Best of mklasing
After only an ounce of beer, BO breaks into his Cosby Jell-O Pudding Pops impersonation.

Best of Mr. Right
Guess who had to buy everyone a round after the "beer frame"...

Best of Jack Reacher
"True, the beer is half the size of the ones you used to enjoy, but trust me; you'll get used to getting by with less. Which brings me to my tax plan..."

Best of Steve O
Hmmm... a little bitter...
not much of a head...
not pale but not dark either...

It's a new kind of beer.

Best of Steve O
Obama, in a bid to impress Pennyslvanians, shows his ability to hold his booze by downing over six beers over a two hour period.

Best of lawhawk
Once again, Hillary makes him look like a lightweight.

Best of ThatGayConservative
"It'll get ya drunk! You'll be f**king fat girls in no time! You might even fight a ni**er or two! Mmmm, mmmm bitch!!"
Samuel Jackson... always a GOOD choice.

53 comments:

Van Helsing said...

Looks like O'Bigot will do anything to get elected: even pretend to drink beer like the hoi polloi. Real man-sized glass he's got there.

metalgarth said...

Carl decided that Duff Dark was much better than Duff Lite, Duff Dry, Raspberry Duff and Tartar Control Duff.

curly said...

Join the self-righteous, gun-totin', military-lovin', sister-marryin', abortion-hatin', gay-loathin', foreigner-despisin', nonpassport ownin' rednecks, who believe God gave America the biggest d*** in the world so it could urinate on the rest of us and make their land 'free and strong.' (a Keith Reade quote).

curly said...

Must. Not. Extend. Pinky. Finger.

curly said...

“…and when he woke up from his three day drunk, Lincoln asked ‘I freed the what?”

Chrees said...

"Associating with anti-American racists and then blaming the rest of America for their bigotry works up a mighty big thirst. That's why I relax with the smooth taste of Duff...never bitter."

curly said...

Now that is some tasty arugula juice!

curly said...

While Barack’s “F*ck you, amerikkka!” toast may have offended a couple of the Democrat crackers in the bar, his numbers shot up drastically with the MoveOn.org crowd.

Double the U said...

"For the first time I have been proud of America!... what?... oh it is a German beer? Well never mind."

Submariner said...

Curly said...
Must. Not. Extend. Pinky. Finger.


Excellent!

Submariner said...

Thought bubble; "No wonder Kerry hated campaigning in small town Amerikkka - how much more of this swill do I have to ingest?"

Submariner said...

Voice over; "We've replaced B.O.'s regular cabernet with camel urine. let's see if he has a flashback..."

Submariner said...

"You're SURE this wasn't delivered by on of Shrillary's aide?"

Submariner said...

Reports have surfaced about B.O. "healing the sick," but when questioned about his Messiah-hood, he was only able to turn water into Stroh's bache.

Submariner said...

Thought bubble; "One more round of this swill from these gun-toting church freaks and I'll show THEM something about being 'bitter' in politics..."

Submariner said...

Here's to Army of Mom and Jonathon for their support of my campaign...

Son Of The Godfather said...

Much like his wife, Obama refuses to swallow.

Submariner said...
Curly said...
Must. Not. Extend. Pinky. Finger.

Excellent!


Agreed!

Son Of The Godfather said...

Clinging to his bitters.

Son Of The Godfather said...

If anyone captions anything about "ripple" and hears something off in the distance, it's just Dawn's head exploding.

Son Of The Godfather said...

You've just made an asshat of yourself by insulting middle America with your elitist rant (and bowling a 30)... It's O'Doul's time!

curly said...

Omama’s toast, “From a 40 and a blunt to a pilsner and a c¥nt”, seems to be an oblique reference to his transition from a being a smalltime Southside doper to his current campaign against the Hildabeast.

curly said...

“How’s it taste?”…”Bitter.”

curly said...

“There’s so many white folks in here that you should rename your tavern The Cracker Barrel.”

mklasing said...

After only an ounce of beer, BO breaks into his Cosby Jell-O Pudding Pops impersonation.

Mr. Right said...

Guess who had to buy everyone a round after the "beer frame"...

Mr. Right said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mr. Right said...

Would you care for some malt liquor with your bull, Senator?

Mr. Right said...

Tastes bitter!... Less fulfilling!

Mr. Right said...

"Like most liberals I always see the glass as half empty... and expect you, the taxpayer, to fill it up for me!"

Jack Reacher said...

"True, the beer is half the size of the ones you used to enjoy, but trust me; you'll get used to getting by with less. Which brings me to my tax plan..."

curly said...

Bartender: “We don’t get many in here like you.”
Obama: “You mean African-Americans?”
Bartender: “No. I mean an anti-American, sushi-eating, latte-drinking, Prius-driving, Birkenstock-wearing, effeminate, chicken-roosting, metrosexual, tree-hugging, tweed-wearing, gutter ball bowling, New York Times reading, Huffington Post blogging, know-it-all Frenchified socialist pinko who’s idea of change is to damn the very Americans that you reach out to as a bunch of bitter, racist gun nut religious wackos.”
Obama: “Well, with the prices you charge here, I can see why.”

curly said...

Bartender: “So Senator, is your glass half full or half empty?”
Obama: “I’m glad you asked. I plan to CHANGE half empty glasses to half full ones, ushering in the Era of Half Fullness, wherein such philosophical questions will be rendered mute.”
Bartender: “Senator, I takes a man full of himself to pull off that kind a change.”
Obama: “Yes indeed, I am full of it.”

Steve O said...

Hmmm... a little bitter...
not much of a head...
not pale but not dark either...

It's a new kind of beer.

Steve O said...

Obama, in a bid to impress Pennyslvanians, shows his ability to hold his booze by downing over six beers over a two hour period.

Seoulman (R) said...

Here's to fooling the people until November

Seoulman (R) said...

All foam, no substance

Seoulman (R) said...

Are you sure this will cure my constipation

Seoulman (R) said...

B. Hussain Obama (D) performs his first miracle converting beer into pee.

Seoulman (R) said...

Choose O'Douls

Near Beer for the Near Man

Seoulman (R) said...

(Crowd reaction)

Wouldn't you like to go to a place where everyone knows your name, and they are always glad you came?... No really, wouldn't you like to go...now

lawhawk said...

And Hillary still makes him look like a lightweight.

Steve O said...

A common man -- not an elitist -- enjoying a beer the same way we all do.

Steve O said...

C'mon, I drink JACK DANIELS from bigger glasses than that.

prince of leaves said...

The irony that Vice President Clinton had ordered him a Fosters was lost on the soon-to-be late President Obama.

Rodney Dill said...

Mad Dog 20/20, not just for breakfast anymore.

ThatGayConservative said...

"It'll get ya drunk! You'll be f**king fat girls in no time! You might even fight a ni**er or two! Mmmm, mmmm bitch!!"


http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=11903&title=samuel-l.-jackson-beer

Submariner said...

For those that drink; Guinness!
For those that can't; Guinness in a shot glass.

Brilliant!

Anonymous said...

Are you sure this will cure my constipation?
Best hope not, there will be nothing left but an empty sack of skin.

PS: I didn't know beer came in demitasse.

Submariner said...

Thought bubble; "Mohammed! Please tell me it doesn't really come in pints..."

shoechick said...

Hmmm...spit or swallow. Now I can really see the problem women have.

Submariner said...

'Ow To Speak Awstraylian:
Wuss

ThatGayConservative said...

Even though he's the new Messiah, Snobama still partakes in Communion with the peasants.

Then he took the cup of malt liquor, gave thanks and offered it to them, saying, "Drink from it, all of you."

Jack Mifflin said...

Absolut Screwed