1. "It's agreed, the Magic Negro gets "fostered" at the next rally."
2. "Why do you smell like bacon?" "Why do *you* smell like bacon?"
3. You know, Hill, these moments would seem a lot more tender if you would stop calling me "attention-grabbing, media-whoring bastard" under your breath.
4. "Man, say what you will about Dennis Kucinich but his brownies are *awesome*"
5. "When I snap my fingers, you will cluck like a chicken."
Best of Jack Reacher
"Remember--you're good enough, you're smart enough, and doggone it, people like you!"
Best of Submariner
We title this one; "Monica and Ellen kneeling just out of frame..."
Best of Jack Reacher
"Chelsea's out working that money-maker for you right now."
Best of Submariner
Whispered; "You'll NEVER get them back if you keep wearing that 'Obama 08' lapel pin to my rallies..."
Best of prince of leaves
At the Marriages of Political Convenience Conference in D.C. this week, Bill and Hillary Clinton demonstrate the zero-contact hover-kiss/hover-hug, their signature public display of faux affection.
Best of Seoulman (R)
Bill still makes me tingle, kind of the way seeing a dead rat floating in the toilet first thing in the morning does
Best of curly
“Is that a bitter hillbilly gun clinging to the inside of your pocket, or did Monica Lewinsky just walk in the room?”
Best of Army of Mom
I'm too sexy for my wife, too sexy for my wife, wife's going to leave me ....
Best of Chrees
"I don't think any less of you since you didn't achieve what I did. Mainly because I didn't think that much of you to start with."
Best of Van Helsing
"No one will believe a woman could have released an air biscuit of such pungency. They'll blame it on Obama."
35 comments:
Bill's thought bubble; "When the damn cameras quit rolling, one quick squeeze and I'm free!"
"Remember--you're good enough, you're smart enough, and doggone it, people like you!"
We title this one; "Monica and Ellen kneeling just out of frame..."
"Chelsea's out working that money-maker for you right now."
"And to think; it all started with a thousand dollar cattle futures contract."
Whispered; "You'll NEVER get them back if you keep wearing that 'Obama 08' lapel pin to my rallies..."
"Of course I'll follow your SWMBO policy Hillary... it does mean 'Sex With My Bitchin' Oldie,' doesn't it?"
OH NO, Mr. Bill!
At the Marriages of Political Convenience Conference in D.C. this week, Bill and Hillary Clinton demonstrate the zero-contact hover-kiss/hover-hug, their signature public display of faux affection.
"You're lucky, Bill...an inch lower with that hand and even your Secret Service detail couldn't have moved fast enough to keep it out of your colon."
You have 5 seconds before I call the Crisis Hotline
Who do you want to answer the phone at 3 a.m.? Me or my husband who will be sleeping on the couch til the day he dies?
Bill still makes me tingle, kind of the way seeing a dead rat floating in the toilet first thing in the morning does
Forgive me Lord for what I am about to do
Bill's constant dillema-Should I squeeze the neck or the breast? Neck or breast, neck or breast...
Bill's thoughts: "Go for it; just pretend she's Monica."
Hill's thoughts: "Go for it; just pretend he's Monica."
“Is that a bitter hillbilly gun clinging to the inside of your pocket, or did Monica Lewinsky just walk in the room?”
When I think about you, I touch myself ... NOT!
Am I making you horny?
Bill, just like your tie ... think of Pink's song. Yep, just you and your hand tonight.
I'm too sexy for my wife, too sexy for my wife, wife's going to leave me ....
"I don't think any less of you since you didn't achieve what I did. Mainly because I didn't think that much of you to start with."
"Remember what we dreamed about in those Berkeley days after a hash party?"
"Me neither."
"They keep talking about making a deal with the devil...it's my turn to play that role tonight!"
Just remember, the punch line is that after taking a vacation from history you can blame it on the dumbass that takes office after you!
I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.
Yep, yep, there's still a pulse.
Hugh Jass and her life-partner Jack Cass.
That'll do pig, that'll do.
"No one will believe a woman could have released an air biscuit of such pungency. They'll blame it on Obama."
Bill is living proof that free-basing Viagra works!
Hillary, I told you to start using Head and Shoulders or stop wearing dark suits.
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