Monday, April 14, 2008

Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid


1. "It's agreed, the Magic Negro gets "fostered" at the next rally."

2. "Why do you smell like bacon?" "Why do *you* smell like bacon?"

3. You know, Hill, these moments would seem a lot more tender if you would stop calling me "attention-grabbing, media-whoring bastard" under your breath.

4. "Man, say what you will about Dennis Kucinich but his brownies are *awesome*"

5. "When I snap my fingers, you will cluck like a chicken."

Best of Jack Reacher
"Remember--you're good enough, you're smart enough, and doggone it, people like you!"

Best of Submariner
We title this one; "Monica and Ellen kneeling just out of frame..."

Best of Jack Reacher
"Chelsea's out working that money-maker for you right now."

Best of Submariner
Whispered; "You'll NEVER get them back if you keep wearing that 'Obama 08' lapel pin to my rallies..."

Best of prince of leaves
At the Marriages of Political Convenience Conference in D.C. this week, Bill and Hillary Clinton demonstrate the zero-contact hover-kiss/hover-hug, their signature public display of faux affection.

Best of Seoulman (R)
Bill still makes me tingle, kind of the way seeing a dead rat floating in the toilet first thing in the morning does

Best of curly
“Is that a bitter hillbilly gun clinging to the inside of your pocket, or did Monica Lewinsky just walk in the room?”

Best of Army of Mom
I'm too sexy for my wife, too sexy for my wife, wife's going to leave me ....

Best of Chrees
"I don't think any less of you since you didn't achieve what I did. Mainly because I didn't think that much of you to start with."

Best of Van Helsing
"No one will believe a woman could have released an air biscuit of such pungency. They'll blame it on Obama."

35 comments:

Submariner said...

Bill's thought bubble; "When the damn cameras quit rolling, one quick squeeze and I'm free!"

Jack Reacher said...

"Remember--you're good enough, you're smart enough, and doggone it, people like you!"

Submariner said...

We title this one; "Monica and Ellen kneeling just out of frame..."

Jack Reacher said...

"Chelsea's out working that money-maker for you right now."

Jack Reacher said...

"And to think; it all started with a thousand dollar cattle futures contract."

Submariner said...

Whispered; "You'll NEVER get them back if you keep wearing that 'Obama 08' lapel pin to my rallies..."

Rodney Dill said...

"Of course I'll follow your SWMBO policy Hillary... it does mean 'Sex With My Bitchin' Oldie,' doesn't it?"

shoechick said...

OH NO, Mr. Bill!

prince of leaves said...

At the Marriages of Political Convenience Conference in D.C. this week, Bill and Hillary Clinton demonstrate the zero-contact hover-kiss/hover-hug, their signature public display of faux affection.

prince of leaves said...

"You're lucky, Bill...an inch lower with that hand and even your Secret Service detail couldn't have moved fast enough to keep it out of your colon."

Seoulman (R) said...

You have 5 seconds before I call the Crisis Hotline

Seoulman (R) said...

Who do you want to answer the phone at 3 a.m.? Me or my husband who will be sleeping on the couch til the day he dies?

Seoulman (R) said...

Bill still makes me tingle, kind of the way seeing a dead rat floating in the toilet first thing in the morning does

Seoulman (R) said...

Forgive me Lord for what I am about to do

mklasing said...

Bill's constant dillema-Should I squeeze the neck or the breast? Neck or breast, neck or breast...

curly said...

Bill's thoughts: "Go for it; just pretend she's Monica."

Hill's thoughts: "Go for it; just pretend he's Monica."

curly said...

“Is that a bitter hillbilly gun clinging to the inside of your pocket, or did Monica Lewinsky just walk in the room?”

Army of Mom said...

When I think about you, I touch myself ... NOT!

Army of Mom said...

Am I making you horny?

Army of Mom said...

Bill, just like your tie ... think of Pink's song. Yep, just you and your hand tonight.

Army of Mom said...

I'm too sexy for my wife, too sexy for my wife, wife's going to leave me ....

Army of Mom said...
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Army of Mom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Army of Mom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chrees said...

"I don't think any less of you since you didn't achieve what I did. Mainly because I didn't think that much of you to start with."

Chrees said...

"Remember what we dreamed about in those Berkeley days after a hash party?"

"Me neither."

Chrees said...

"They keep talking about making a deal with the devil...it's my turn to play that role tonight!"

Chrees said...

Just remember, the punch line is that after taking a vacation from history you can blame it on the dumbass that takes office after you!

Army of Mom said...

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Army of Mom said...

Yep, yep, there's still a pulse.

Anonymous said...

Hugh Jass and her life-partner Jack Cass.

Rodney Dill said...

That'll do pig, that'll do.

Van Helsing said...

"No one will believe a woman could have released an air biscuit of such pungency. They'll blame it on Obama."

curly said...

Bill is living proof that free-basing Viagra works!

Conservative Belle said...

Hillary, I told you to start using Head and Shoulders or stop wearing dark suits.