Tuesday, April 22, 2008

And in the morning, I'm making waffles...


1. "OMG! Waffles taste SO AWESOME when you're BAKED!"

2. "These are pretty good, but you should taste the ones Andrew Sullivan makes me in the morning."

3. "Hey! Tell your droid to back off! I'm trying to eat, here."

4. "B.O, it's ironic that you have that kind of grin on your face, considering the cook here never washes his hands after using the toilet."

5. "No secret. We just use Aunt Jemi... I mean, Hungry Jack! Yes, Hungry Jack, that's the waffle mix we use."

6. "So, how do you like your waffles?" "Hey! Don't throw those kinds of 'gotcha' questions at me!"

7. "You should know, Anointed One, Hillary offered me thirty pieces of silver to betray you."

8. "I'm not used to having fresh milk in the morning. It tends to curdle under Michelle's withering glare."

9. "See, Barack, I told you this was the perfect restaurant for you and your supporters...Snooters!"

10. "Man, these must be Bill Ayers Waffles... so bad, not even The Man can keep them down."

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"I know... it's hard to get down... Just pretend it's a sort of poor-man's quiche."

Best of curly
“It’s the ‘OJ Simpson Special’: bloody sausages and a glass of orange juice, served by a waitress wearing gloves that are too small.”

Best of Son Of The Godfather
ATDHE alert
"What, no chicken?"

Best of Submariner
ATDHE alert
"Where's my watermelon?"

Best of andthenblammo!
"So, is that a gun bitterly clinging to your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?"

Best of Seoulman (R)
This week on sneak previews, we will look at a remake of Dumb and Dumber

Best of mega
"It's a Jukebox. It's sort of like an iPod, except it has very limited capacity and weighs 300 pounds... Just like a typical Pennsylvania voter. (chuckle)"

Best of Double the U
Barack, thanks for playing that song, now how do I get "jiggy wid it?"

Best of ThatGayConservative
Then he took the waffle, broke it and gave it to his disciples. He said "This is my body which was dipped in imitation maple syrup for you. Eat it in remembrance of me."

Best of curly
♫ My waffles bring all the Senators to the yard, and they're like, its better than yours, damn right its better than yours, I can teach you, but I have to charge. ♪

32 comments:

Son Of The Godfather said...

If you use this Bill-Clinton-patented "thumb clamp" hand gesture during the next debate, Hill will have an aneurism, gauranteed.

Good Lord, V the K must have had his Wheaties this morning... All excellent caps!

Son Of The Godfather said...

Vincent: Want some bacon?
Jules: No man, I don't eat pork.
Vincent: Are you Jewish?
Jules: Nah, I ain't Jewish, I just don't dig on swine, that's all.
Vincent: Why not?
Jules: Pigs are filthy animals. I don't eat filthy animals.
Vincent: Bacon tastes gooood. Pork chops taste gooood.
Jules: Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherf*cker. Pigs sleep and root in sh*t. That's a filthy animal. I ain't eat nothin' that ain't got enough sense enough to disregard its own faeces.
Vincent: How about a dog? Dogs eats its own feces.
Jules: I don't eat dog either.
Vincent: Yeah, but do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal?
Jules: I wouldn't go so far as to call a dog filthy but they're definitely dirty. But, a dog's got personality. Personality goes a long way.
Vincent: Ah, so by that rationale, if a pig had a better personality, he would cease to be a filthy animal. Is that true?
Jules: Well we'd have to be talkin' about one charmin' motherf*ckin' pig. I mean he'd have to be ten times more charmin' than that Arnold on Green Acres, you know what I'm sayin'?

Son Of The Godfather said...

"This orange juice tastes bitter."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I know... it's hard to get down... Just pretend it's a sort of poor-man's quiche."

curly said...

“It’s the ‘OJ Simpson Special’: bloody sausages and a glass of orange juice, served by a waitress wearing gloves that are too small.”

Son Of The Godfather said...

ATDHE alert
"What, no chicken?"

Chrees said...

Waffles, flip-flops...just another candidate that changes his policies mid-sentence.

curly said...

“This cracker food tastes like sh!t.”…”Speaking of sh!t, where’s Michelle?”

curly said...

“Anyone eating the poison in this dive will be really interested in my health care plan.”

curly said...

“They call it the ‘Toe-Tapper Special’: serve it up and senators appear out of no where.”

Hey SOTG!

Son Of The Godfather said...

Mary, pictured in the background between the two suits, waits in anticipation for her jukebox selection to be played... She just loved "Loser" by Beck.

Hey Curly!

Van Helsing said...

"Just let me eat my waffle."

Submariner said...

ATDHE alert

"Where's my watermelon?"

Submariner said...

ATDHE alert

"C'mon, dammit - I ordered a side of chitlins!"

curly said...

"...so she bought a bit of butter,
better than her bitter butter,
and she baked it in her batter,
and the batter was not bitter."

Rodney Dill said...

"Hey here's an idea, we'll promise to make Hillary 'Waitress In Chief' if she quits her campaign right now"

andthenblammo! said...

"So, is that a gun bitterly clinging to your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?"

Rodney Dill said...

This reminds me of a time with John Kerry....

Rodney Dill said...

"...and I invented black waffles and called 'em baffles."

mklasing said...

"I can't wait to see the look on the crackers' faces when I take over and turn this place into a stinking dung-hole of socialist policies run by a cabinet full of black men."

mklasing said...

To Obama: "You actually don't know a crappin' thing about being the president do you?"

"No, ha ha ha ha ha ha"

Seoulman (R) said...

BHO: Let me tell you man. I had the craziest night.

I went bowling... Yeah I know me... in a dress shirt.... Then I got soooo wasted. I had a beer... Yeah, only one... I am a wild and crazy guy.

Seoulman (R) said...

This week on sneak previews, we will look at a remake of Dumb and Dumber

Double the U said...

So (giggle) then I welded all the coins together (snicker) and left her "tip" at the bottom of a glass of ice water!

mega said...

"Another. F'ing. Waffle. In. Another. F'ing. Diner. There has GOT to be a better way to get those dumb gun-toting bitter bible nativists on board. And what is that, four tablespoons of butter? Haven't these 6-shootin' Jesus friek hicks ever heard of Smart Balance??? By the way, what the heck is that thing behind me?"

"It's a Jukebox. It's sort of like an iPod, except it has very limited capacity and weighs 300 pounds."

"Great. Just like Pennsylvanians. (chuckle)"

Army of Mom said...

Do you smell what Barack is cooking?

Double the U said...

So Barack, thanks for playing that song, now how do I get "jiggy wid it?"

metalgarth said...

Shortly after the unpleasantness involving Lenny and 'Apu's Wife', Carl was spotted all over Springfield with his new best bud Waylon Smithers

ThatGayConservative said...

Then he took the waffle, broke it and gave it to his disciples. He said "This is a symbol of my body which was dipped in imitation maple syrup for you. Eat it in remembrance of me."

ThatGayConservative said...

"No, I'm fairly certain he promised 40 links and a waffle."

ThatGayConservative said...

"I'm totally serious. These are your reparations."

curly said...

♫ My waffles bring all the Senators to the yard, and they're like, its better than yours, damn right its better than yours, I can teach you, but I have to charge. ♪