Friday, April 18, 2008

And also, Let the Holy Grail References Begin

Brender
1. ORA: Sargon opens himself to a multi-million quatloo sexual harassment suit.

2. SP ORA: With his internet finally restored, Randy Marsh is once again able to access Medieval Spherical Object Gang Bang Pr0n.

3. Number 4 in the list of "Top Ten Ways to Get a Lifetime Ban from your local Bowling Alley."

4. When melons go really, really bad.

5. Wearing a miniature Death Star on your groin is one good way to distract people from your hideous mullet.


Best of duke of red
Help, Help, I'm being repressed!

Best of shoechick
It's only a flesh wound.

Best of Jack Reacher
Now we see the violence inherent in the system.

Best of curly
Ellen DeGeneres soon discovered that her ‘one really huge bellybutton ring to rule them all’ shtick wasn’t cutting it at the Renaissance Faire .

Best of Silhouette
Sir Hurts-a-lot.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Games You Can Play Only Once:
Catapult Dodgeball

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"You were supposed to throw the Holy Hand-grenade after THREE!"

Best of curly
“It really burns when I piss!” Dating Lady Brittany Spears was a real challenge to the art of leechcraft.

Best of Whacko
The French soldier's taunt to 'f*rt in his general direction', resulted in two unpleasent surprises;
1) The f*rt had consideralbe more mass then expected and,
2) For a Frenchman, his aim was quite accurate.

Best of attmay
"Scalpin' tickets to Spamalot, eh? I don't think so, buddy!"

Best of Rodney Dill
"Well I was able to dodge the wrench."

Best of Rodney Dill
Do Not Taunt Happy Ton Ball

Best of Submariner
Good thing I didn't tell him to keep his EYE on the ball...

Best of Mr. Right
Magic 8 Ball: "Signs point to eunuch"

Best of Mr. Right
"You fool! The Palantír of Orthanc must never be used as a hacky sack!"

57 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

duke of red said...

Help, Help, I'm being repressed!

shoechick said...

Allow me to be the first to say:

It's only a flesh wound.

The Man said...

The Lord of the Rings meet-up group ended in a really nerdy, but violent way.

Jack Reacher said...

Now we see the violence inherent in the system.

curly said...

Following Barack’s humiliating score of 37, Obama’s bowling ball salesman was never heard from again.

curly said...

The “get medieval on his ass” scene from Sully’s remake of ‘Pulp Fiction’ quickly degenerated from hilarious to disgusting.

curly said...

With a tavern name like ‘The Prancing Pony’, Frodo Blackbaggins expected the bouncers to be a little more understanding about his toe tapping hijinks.

curly said...

The boisterous argument between the gay bowling ball salesman and the male hairstylist as to whether the Pope was ‘fabulous or simply divine’ at the reception for the visiting Pontiff was left unsettled.

curly said...

Ellen DeGeneres soon discovered that her ‘one really huge bellybutton ring to rule them all’ shtick wasn’t cutting it at the Renaissance Faire .

Silhouette said...

Fighting two armored knights alone? He sure has balls.

Silhouette said...

Sir Hurts-a-lot.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Passing a kidney stone, medieval style.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"We warned ye' not to sleep with Dirty Mary the bar wench... We'll take ye to the apothacary where ye may buy some of the majik elixir, penicillin."

V, all five of your caps - Nice!

Son Of The Godfather said...

Over the years, the tales of Arthur had become romanticised... "Removing Excalibur from a stone" has wider appeal than a "extracating a d*ck from a bowling ball".

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Jeeebus! It's the middle ages for crissakes! Has the cannon even been invented yet?!?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Paintwars have devastating consequences in Lilliputia.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Whose laughing at the idea of a chastity belt now?

Son Of The Godfather said...

Games You Can Play Only Once:
Catapult Dodgeball

mklasing said...

Cindy Sheehan, in her media whoring frenzy, accidentally protested the wrong war.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Too ORA?
Phantasm - cheap shot

Son Of The Godfather said...

"We lance boils a little differently in these parts... I'll go get my lance... and trusty steed..."

Son Of The Godfather said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Son Of The Godfather said...

Funniest Home Videos: Medieval Edition

Son Of The Godfather said...

Awesome Band Names #376:
Saxon Vasectomy

Son Of The Godfather said...

"You were supposed to throw the Holy Hand-grenade after THREE!"

curly said...

Jeebus soon regretted his “Sir Kobe – I’m open” taunts.

curly said...

Mixing up the canisters marked CO2 and O2, Inflatable Scrotum Guy wished he had paid more attention during high school chemistry class.

curly said...

“It really burns when I piss!” Dating Lady Brittany Spears was a real challenge to the art of leechcraft.

curly said...

One of the many questions I’ve had about the of making bowling ball porn: what happens when it gets stuck?

curly said...

Middle Earth’s cannon balls come home to roost.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Apart from the bowling ball, rubber-soled shoes, asphalt playground, and the "K through 8" bulding in the background, it's a pretty accurate portrayal of the time period.

If you look close, I think that's actually a soccer ball painted black to make it look all 'medievally'.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Break'em Like Beckham

curly said...

In medieval times, the hick crackers would cling to their cannon balls.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Hillgarth the Questionable recalls his visit to London, where he had to run from the carraige while avoiding French sniper fire.

Son Of The Godfather said...

I'm ever upper class high society
God's gift to ballroom notoriety
I always fill my ballroom
The event is never small
The social pages say I've got
The biggest balls of all

CHORUS:
I've got big balls
I've got big balls
And they're such big balls
Dirty big balls
And he's got big balls
And she's got big balls
But we've got the biggest balls of them all

And my balls are always bouncing
My ballroom always full
And everybody cums and cums again
If your name is on the guest list
No one can take you higher
Everybody says I've got
Great balls of fire

CHORUS

Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when they're held for pleasure
They're the balls that I like best
My balls are always bouncing
To the left and to the right
It's my belief that my big balls
Should be held every night

CHORUS

And I'm just itching to tell you about them
Oh we had such wonderful fun
Seafood cocktail, crabs, crayfish...

Ball sucker

Son Of The Godfather said...

Awesome Band Names #433:
Kinky Sauron

Son Of The Godfather said...

When you acquire an evil, magical "monkey's paw", it's best not to wish for "the largest penis in all the land".

curly said...

“Yes We Cannon!”

metalgarth said...

(In the highest squeakiest voice allowable by law)

"It's just a flesh wound"

metalgarth said...

Sorry shoechick... I stole your caption (In the best Paul Stanley voice allowable by law)

Whacko said...

The French soldier's taunt to 'f*rt in his general direction', resulted in two unpleasent surprises;
1) The f*rt had consideralbe more mass then expected and,
2) For a Frenchman, his aim was quite accurate.

duke of red said...

Sully was disappointed by his Google search for "manhandling big black balls"

curly said...

Minus Tirith minus Timmoth.

attmay said...

"Scalpin' tickets to Spamalot, eh? I don't think so, buddy!"

Van Helsing said...

At last the cup was invented in 1483, and gay flesh-eating soccer balls became less of a menace.

Rodney Dill said...

"Well I was able to dodge the wrench."

Rodney Dill said...

Do Not Taunt Happy Ton Ball

Rodney Dill said...

The curse of Dick Weber

Submariner said...

This ought to make an interesting madrigal, Sir Robin...

Submariner said...

On second thought, he'll try the bunny.

Submariner said...

Now that we know the terminal velocity of the aforementioned cannonaded soccer ball is 1,283 ft/sec, how do we make use of this to determine the terminal velocity of an unladen sparrow?

Submariner said...

Well then; at least he now has one...

Army of Dad said...

NO, dummy use your other head on the ball!

Submariner said...

Good thing I didn't tell him to keep his EYE on the ball...

Mr. Right said...

Just as the poor knave was nabbed by the Queen's personal guard, his Magic 8 Ball read: "Signs point to eunuch"

Mr. Right said...

"You fool! The Palantír of Orthanc must never be used as a hacky sack!"