Friday, March 28, 2008

Ow! Ow! Ow! Hot! Hot! Hot!


1. Only much, much later would members of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence learn exactly how displeased God was with that 'Hunky Jesus' thing.

2. "Cheese, what is it with you kids? 'When's dinner?' 'Help me with homework.' 'Get me the fire extinguisher!' When do I get some 'me' time?"

3. Sunflower Rainbow Moonbeam Peaceblossom (Santa Cruz, CA) immolates himself to protest global warming... completely failing to appreciate the irony.

4. What happens to Typical White People when they die, according to Reverend Jeremiah Wright.

5. In this visualization, you can see what your crotch will feel like a week after hooking up with Paris Hilton.

Best of Submariner
Jerry Falwell delivers another sermon on homosexuality.

Best of Submariner
"I TOLD him not to smoke while using hairspray!" simpered John Edwards...

Best of Jonathan
Do not taunt Happy Fun Bonfire.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
We title this picture: Why We Don't Leave Toasting Pop-Tarts Unattended

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Steve always looked up to his big brother, Gary. Unfortunately, due to reading comprehension problems, he would grow up to immolate him.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
When you travel back in time, it's best not to try to impress the natives with your scary-detailed knowledge of the future, lest you be deemed a witch.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
The Mentos/Diet Coke experiment outtakes were immediately removed from YouTube.

Best of curly
When did the Ignited Negro College Fund start accepting white boys?

Best of Mr. Right

Another vaunted super delegate, The Fantastic Four's Human Torch, arrives in Denver.


Best of Mr. Right
ORA: Some folks never learned that it just didn't pay to piss off young Charlie McGee.

55 comments:

duke of red said...

Lighting your farts: Ur doing it wrong!!

Submariner said...

Another Superdelegate finds out what happens when you decide to switch allegiance to Obama...

Submariner said...

Jerry Falwell delivers another sermon on homosexuality.

Submariner said...

Tonight on Hardball: China - George W. Bush's Fault.

Submariner said...

Speaker of the House, Nasty Pelosi explains the "proposed Republican solution to the Social Security/Medicaid funding problems" for a senior citizens PAC.

Submariner said...

Teddy the Whale rethinks his disposal strategy for interns...

Submariner said...

"I TOLD him not to smoke while using hairspray!" simpered John Edwards...

Submariner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Submariner said...

What a flamer...

Submariner said...

W. sniffed and grinned; "Hey, y'all! Nobody said we was havin' bar-b-cue tonight..."

Submariner said...

PEKING DUK; UR DOIN IT WRONG!

Anonymous said...

Build a Man a Fire and You Warm Him for a Day.

Set a Man On Fire, and You Warm for the Rest of His Life.

Submariner said...

This heartburn is the worst! Anybody got a Zantac?

Submariner said...

How nature says "Not a good choice for Scout Troop Leader."

Jonathan said...

What some people won't do for Krazy Kandy.

Jonathan said...

Do not taunt Happy Fun Bonfire.

Rodney Dill said...

Just another superdelegate voting for Obama

Son Of The Godfather said...

Any other Cap This participants up for a trip to this year's Burning Man?

Son Of The Godfather said...

Hey little girl is your daddy home,
Did he go away and leave you all alone?
I got a bad desire...

Son Of The Godfather said...

Sometimes, it's not really wise to fight fire with fire.

Son Of The Godfather said...

If you stare at the flames long enough, patterns begin to emerge...For instance here, I can just make out an image of Jeffrey Dahmer in his new home.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Dude's gonna need a hella-big carbon offset for that.

Son Of The Godfather said...

We title this picture:
Why We Don't Leave Pop-Tarts Unattended In The Toaster

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Excuse me, waitress?... How spicy is the curry?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Should there really be a single group that oversees alcohol, tobacco, AND "fire" arms?...

Submariner said...
Jerry Falwell delivers another sermon on homosexuality.


Way good, amigo!

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Kevin, are you really in trouble, or are you just blowin' smoke up my ass?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

We've replaced Donald's Axe body spray with kerosene... Let's see if he notices...

Son Of The Godfather said...

Steve always looked up to his big brother, Gary. Unfortunately, due to reading comprehension problems, he would grow up to immolate him.

Son Of The Godfather said...

When you travel back in time, it's best not to try to impress the natives with your scary-detailed knowledge of the future, lest you be deemed a witch.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Altoids: Curiously Flammable

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Excuse me, King Leonidas?... I've been talkin' to some of the guys, and, well, we were wondering if maybe tomorrow, we could dine at the International House of Pancakes instead?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

The Mentos/Diet Coke experiment outtakes were immediately removed from YouTube.

Son Of The Godfather said...

FROM: The Office Of The President Of The United States
TO: Marine Recruitment Center, Berkeley, CA.

Dear Sirs,
Do what you have to.

Sincerely,
President Bush

Submariner said...

Scream all you want; I TOLD you to have my daughter home by 11...


SOTG - thanks for the props, amigo.

Will said...

What would you do for a Klondike bar?

Submariner said...

V. TOLD you that Kari used hydrogen in her ballons, SOTG...

Submariner said...

Wait, wait, I KNOW this one!
The answer is "Richard Pryor!"

Tim said...

Xtreme athletes foot

curly said...

After what happened to Jose at the Taco Bell, no one ever asked Dick Cheney to “pass the hot sauce” again.

curly said...

When did the Ignited Negro College Fund start accepting white boys?

curly said...

Thanks to all for not posting "I asked for a Bud Lite."...Darn it!

curly said...

Code Flame: To the left of Code Pink and to the right of Satan.

curly said...

I know how the poor bastard feels: I invested my life savings in Bear Stearns Stock at at $93.00 a share and sold it at $2.00 a share last week!

curly said...

Whatever happened to Old Mrs. O'Leary's cow tipper?

curly said...

Shortly after he/she deemed his/her sex change operation a success, Mike/Michelle discovers that the doctors crossed his fart plumbing with her queef plumbing.

curly said...

From “Islam is Fun”, fact #34: The Holy Koran makes no direct reference to the use of immolation for apostates, Jews or infidels!

prince of leaves said...

If Jeremiah Wright thinks it's difficult for black people to hail a cab, he should consider how hard a time demons have.

prince of leaves said...

"Dante! I'm open!"

prince of leaves said...

Meschach, Schadrach, and Abed-Nego's lesser-known brother, Anthracite.

sonicfrog said...

What, no Sonicfrog / flamer jokes????

sonicfrog said...

Jimmy got his dates mixed up. Burning Man doesn't start till NEXT week.

shoechick said...

Now that's a spicy meatball.

Mr. Right said...

Another vaunted super delegate, The Human Torch of The Fantastic Four, arrives in Denver.

Mr. Right said...

Much to his chagrin, Lao discovers, too late, that sometimes "liar, liar pants on fire" is more than just a childish taunt.

Mr. Right said...

ORA: Some folks never learned that it just didn't pay to piss off young Charlie McGee.