Saturday, March 29, 2008

I'll Have What They're Having


1. "I hope you're not expecting me to put out, just because you bought me dinner."

2. "Do you have any picture menus? We went to public school."

3. "You're getting the Jumbo Burrito Fiesta Platter? Well, I know someone who gets his own tent at the scout camp-out."

4. "So, are we binging or purging today?"

5. "Well, I'm gonna have the Spam, Spam, Spam, Eggs, and Spam."

Best of Jack Reacher
"Speaking of pigs in a blanket, how is your sister?"

Best of Silhouette
"Yes, Bobby is ours but Tommy is adopted. We make no difference between them, mind you. Other than making Tommy wear the giant A all the time."

Best of Mr. Right

"You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?"

"They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with Cheese?"

"No, man, they got the metric system there, they wouldn't know what a Quarter Pounder is."

"What'd they call it?"

"They call it Royale with Cheese."

"Royale with Cheese. What'd they call a Big Mac?"

"Big Mac's a Big Mac, but they call it Le Big Mac."

"Le Big Mac. What do they call a Whopper?"

"I dunno, I didn't go into a Burger King."

Best of Dr. Hardcrab
I wonder what the "Barney Frank-N-Ferter" is???

Best of curly
“Do you want the Obama Special – an Oreo falafel – or the Hillary special – Chinese pork fried in lard?”

Best of Rodney Dill
This is Livonia, of course we can have beer with our steak and eggs before 8:00 AM

Best of Dwight Wannabe
Gallant politely asked the young waitress for his usual Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity breakfast, while Goofus leeringly ordered a furburger with a side order of thighs.

Best of Silhouette
Unlike Avalon Manor, what happens at Fernbank Elementary...stays on your permanent record.

Best of metalgarth
Nickelodeon's remake of "My Dinner With Andre" was just as boring, uninspired, pretentious, and unwatchable as the original.

28 comments:

Kaptain Krude said...

"M-m-maaac-a-ro-ni and ch-ch-ch-cheese. Hey, phonics does work for me!"

Jack Reacher said...

"Speaking of pigs in a blanket, how is your sister?"

Jack Reacher said...

"It says domestic drafts and appetizers are half price until 6. Party time!"

Jack Reacher said...

"Do you think our waitress went to public school?"
"Well, she did fall for our fake I.D.s, Doctor Levenson."
"That she did, Professor Miller."

Silhouette said...

"Yes, Bobby is ours but Tommy is adopted. We make no difference between them, mind you. Other than making Tommy wear the giant A all the time."

Double the U said...

Cowgirl.... $300
Bareback....$500
Around the world.....$1000

Mister Spitzer, what kind of restaurant is this?

racerboy said...

"I don't get this 'Barney Frank Special'...why would anyone want tadziki on their hot dog?"

Mr. Right said...

"You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?"

"They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with Cheese?"

"No, man, they got the metric system there, they wouldn't know what a Quarter Pounder is."

"What'd they call it?"

"They call it Royale with Cheese."

"Royale with Cheese. What'd they call a Big Mac?"

"Big Mac's a Big Mac, but they call it Le Big Mac."

"Le Big Mac. What do they call a Whopper?"

"I dunno, I didn't go into a Burger King."

prince of leaves said...

"I don't know what the menu says...it's in Canadian."

prince of leaves said...

The decapitated bodies of Timmy and Zach would later be found in an empty lot, after the boys dared to read the Dreaded Cartoons of Blasphemy in Ali Baba's Coffee and Falafel Shop.

Dr. Hardcrab said...

>>>

I wonder what the "Barney Frank-N-Ferter" is???

>>>

Dr. Hardcrab said...

OOOPS!!!

Sorry Racerboy. Didn't see yours. My bad...

curly said...

The Emperor’s Club clients numbers 6 and 7 remain anonymous due to their ages.

curly said...

“Do you want the Obama Special – an Oreo falafel – or the Hillary special – Chinese pork fried in lard?”

Rodney Dill said...

This is Livonia, of course we can have beer with our steak and eggs before 8:00 AM

Anonymous said...

"Uncle Barney always gets me the roofie special. It tastes good, but my ass really hurts the next morning."

Dwight Wannabe said...

Gallant politely asked the young waitress for his usual Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity breakfast, while Goofus leeringly ordered a furburger with a side order of thighs.

Silhouette said...

Unlike Avalon Manor, what happens at Fernbank Elementary...stays on your permanent record.

Silhouette said...

Yeah, I hate getting the seat under the AC vent too.

Submariner said...

I'll have the Moo Shoo Pork, and my date will have a Pu Pu Platter. Please give him extra poo...

curly said...

Dey's uh, change-kabobs, change creole, change gumbo. There's pineapple change, lemon change, coconut change, pepper change, change soup, change stew, change salad, change and potatoes, change burger, change sandwich.

Submariner said...

Goofus; "Be very, very nice to the waitress or she'll have the cook spit in your food. GIT YO A$$ OVER HERE, BI-YOTCH!

metalgarth said...

Nickelodeon's remake of "My Dinner With Andre" was just as boring, uninspired, pretentious, and unwatchable as the original.

Army of Mom said...

This is the worst story ever. What kind of library is this?

Army of Mom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Army of Mom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Army of Mom said...

Waiter: "Tea or water, boys?"
Goofus: "I'll have tea."
Gallant: "Me, too - and be sure the glass is clean!"
(Waiter exits, returns)
Waiter: "Two teas. Which one asked for the clean glass?"

Army of Mom said...

Goofus: Dude, these braille menus are really cool.
Gallant: Dude. That is crusty old gravy.