Thursday, March 27, 2008

Got Hardwood... Floors?


1. "Got any other hard wood that needs buffing?"

2. "What a coincidence, I had to beat down ShoeChick with my handbag to get those heels," said Sully.

3. "Bad girl! Bad! We don't drag our butts on the floor in here!"

4. Another "typical white person" completely incompetent at break-dancing in high heels.

5. Standard Caption #114: "Mom?"

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Excuse me, I live in the apartment right below you and there's this squeaking I keep hearing from the floorboards up here. Just wanted to let you know: No Problem."

Best of prince of leaves
She wasn't smelly or a hooker anymore, but Ginger could still polish the poop-deck with the best of pirates.

Best of prince of leaves
The Hardwood Flooring Industry Association's new ad campaign, "Nail It On The Floor", was a raging success.

Best of Submariner
A squeak? Well let me just apply a little naval jelly with this here applicator...

Best of curly
Meanwhile, at the “never to be confused with John Edwards” house.

Best of curly
Next on “This Old House”: After laying some wood, Norm gives tips on how keep your tool clean and operating properly.

Best of Jack Reacher
You know, there's a lot to be said for tongue-in-groove flooring. I'm just saying.

36 comments:

Chrees said...

Combining two popular events, the dance contest with the Eliot Spitzer scandal, Fox has announced their newest show: Shagging With the Stars.

Rodney Dill said...

Shivver me timbers

Submariner said...

So THAT'S how you get "Dutch elm disease" eh?

shoechick said...

Hey, I not only have the shoes, but I have the whole outfit! I would be happy to let you borrow it (as soon as I get it back from Subby).

Submariner said...

Sorry ShoeChick, but my date hasn't deflated yet...

divine miss m said...

Whenever he's put on hold, Subby keeps his stress level down by doodling lingerie on the nudies.

Son Of The Godfather said...

In response to V's #3 cap:
Speak for yourself, viking! :)

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Excuse me, I live in the apartment right below you and there's this squeaking I keep hearing from the floorboards up here. Just wanted to let you know: No Problem."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Wax on, wax off."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Floor's so clean, you could eat off 'er.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Let me apologize in advance for the splinters you're about to get."

prince of leaves said...

Standard Caption Template #98345: Veneer? Damn near killed 'er!

prince of leaves said...

She wasn't smelly or a hooker anymore, but Ginger could still polish the poop-deck with the best of pirates.

prince of leaves said...

"Why yes, my breasts ARE as hard as this maple..."

Steve O said...

Quick. Name two things that are soft and one thing that's hard.

prince of leaves said...

The Hardwood Flooring Industry Association's new ad campaign, "Nail It On The Floor", was a raging success.

Steve O said...

Well, sure I'd like to play ball... but won't you have to get off of the floor?

Steve O said...

I spy, with my little eye... something purple!



Nope! Guess again!!!

Steve O said...

Sorry miss, I was born blind.

In order to tell what you look like, well, you probably know the drill.

Steve O said...

These later experiments were designed to get bloggers interested in girls.

Submariner said...

Well, she doesn't fit the mnemonic, but this sailor still finds her a dream!

Steve O said...

Hey, if it really caused blindness, I wouldn't be able to see the front of my eyeball.

Submariner said...

A squeak? Well let me just apply a little naval jelly with this here applicator...

Steve O said...

I'm sorry, you said you wanted me to CAPTURE you???

Dang it! No, sorry. I thought you said for me to do something else.

curly said...

Meanwhile, at the “never to be confused with John Edwards” house.

curly said...

Seriously, what would you rather witness: your wife dressed like this on a wood floor, or some corporate gal breaking through another glass ceiling?

curly said...

What’s playing on the C&W station as I write this: ♫ She said she was a termite and she was only looking for some wood ♪

curly said...

Here’s what the floors look like on the other side of the glass ceiling…

curly said...

Next on “This Old House”: After laying some wood, Norm gives tips on how keep your tool clean and operating properly.

curly said...

Having heard many a diatribe on the excessive use of toilet paper by evil white Amerikkkans, Sheryl Crow’s girlfriend gravitated towards wood floors over carpets as the best means for a girl to ‘freshen up after a really good dump’.

curly said...

Client number 9, your $2500 an hour floor buffer just arrived.

Jack Reacher said...

You know, there's a lot to be said for tongue-in-groove flooring. I'm just saying.

Submariner said...

Jack Reacher said...
...there's a lot to be said for tongue-in-groove flooring.


Excellent!

Anonymous said...

Standard Caption 251: Dad??

Steve O said...

Ms. Parkers PhysEd class was a high-school favorite.

Steve O said...

But if you liked her PhysEd class, you LOVED Sex Ed.