Friday, March 28, 2008

Card Trick


1. All right! I'm just a pair of aces and two wife-beater shirts away from seeing those two twinks naked."

2. "Man, this is the last time I ever buy a deck of x-rated playing cards from The Advocate. The Queen of Hearts is Sully in a Tiara."

3. "No wonder I can't beat SOTG at this game. He's not playing with a full deck!"

4. "Did I really just hit again on 54? Oh, why did I have to learn "Everyday Math" in a public school?"

5. "No fair! I was just about to fold when you played that full-house." Playing poker, Barack Obama Style.

Very Brady Best of Son Of The Godfather
Solitaire Thought bubble: "Black Jack covers scary Red Queen obscures old, doddering King... Welcome to election '08"

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Subby masters card-counting: "That'd be one..."

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Our computers are down, so we're having to do everything by hand." Jeff had the best excuses for getting caught slacking off at work.

Best of Army of Mom
First, he started singing Juice Newton songs, but it wasn't until he started whacking off in the middle of the periodicals, that Jeff's Queen of Hearts fetish got him kicked out of the library.

Best of Army of Mom
Playing cards with the special ed kids was so frustrating when they kept yelling Bingo!

Best of Army of Mom
After pulling The Fool card, Jeff advises Subby that his Tarot reading indicates impulsive action, choices and rash decisions. Foolishness and the wasting or frittering way of creative energy. *hmm, can we say Cap This obsession?*

Best of prince of leaves
"The Death card? How the heck did I draw the Death card in Old Maid?"

Best of Submariner
hmmmmm Ace of Spades? That's be a GREAT blog name. Naw, nobody'd ever read it...

Best of curly
There are indeed Two Americas: those that play Freecell on a PC and those that don’t.

Best of Submariner
The new NEA-approved deck of cards still contains 52, but every one of them is a 4 of hearts.
The same card ensures there are no winers or losers;
The 4 was selected to ensure that there are no overlord cards;
The selected heart suit ensures that all gay, homosexual and transgendered children feel represented.
It was noted, however, that this deck makes for a VERY short game of 'Go Fish'

34 comments:

Son Of The Godfather said...

Subby masters card-counting:
"That'd be one..."

Re: V's #3: Oh, it's full alright... It's just that it's pinochle. ;)

Son Of The Godfather said...

Card Tricks from the Asylum:
"Was your card the three of purple?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Hey, you ever play '52 Pickup'?"
"Yes, it resulted in me having a parole officer."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Try as he might, Jeremy could not forget the horror of two pictures ago when Dan attempted to use an asthma inhaler while smoking.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Solitaire Thought bubble:
"Black Jack covers scary Red Queen obscures old, doddering King... Welcome to election '08"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Magician Tip #374:
It's usually more impressive to guess someone's card without looking at it first.

Son Of The Godfather said...

VH1 Presents:
SOTG - Before the Internet

Kaptain Krude said...

"Our computers are down, so we're having to do everything by hand." Jeff had the best excuses for getting caught slacking off at work.

Jay Guevara said...

Thought bubble: "I wonder why Obama got so mad when I asked if he was going to play the spade card."

Army of Mom said...

Jeff's Queen of Hearts fetish got him kicked out of the library. First, he started singing Juice Newton songs, but it wasn't until he started whacking off in the middle of the periodicals, that he got kicked out.

Army of Mom said...

There are only four diamonds!!!


Obscure ST:TNG reference

Army of Mom said...

Poker? I damn near killed her.

Army of Mom said...

No, I don't have a 5. Go fish.

Army of Mom said...

Gin!

Army of Mom said...

Jeff struggled with the concept of Slap Jack. His version was more like spank jimmy.

Army of Mom said...

Nothing up my sleeve.

Army of Mom said...

Playing cards with the special ed kids was so frustrating when they kept yelling Bingo!

Army of Mom said...

Someone should really tell Jeff that strip poker is better with girls playing.

*word verification*
ewwaflg

Army of Mom said...

After pulling The Fool card, Jeff advises Subby that his Tarot reading indicates impulsive action, choices and rash decisions. Foolishness and the wasting or frittering way of creative energy. *hmm, can we say Cap This obsession?*

ThatGayConservative said...

Mumbling:
"Burning card, burning card, burning card, yes!".

ThatGayConservative said...

Bald Kid: "Then you'll see, that it is not the card that bends, it is only yourself.

prince of leaves said...

Jake would soon discover why it was bad juju to play solitaire with Madame Selena's tarot deck.

prince of leaves said...

"The Death card? How the heck did I draw the Death card in Old Maid?"

Submariner said...

hmmmmm Ace of Spades? That's be a GREAT blog name. Naw, nobody'd ever read it...

Submariner said...

"Aren't we gonna crack open the anatomy books?" You study your way, I'll study mine...

curly said...

There are indeed Two Americas: those that play Freecell on a PC and those that don’t.

curly said...

Voting Democrat is about as fruitless as playing strip poker with the Invisible Girl.

curly said...

“The cards tell me that this cap will not make the 'best of’.”

curly said...

“This deck of cards that Dennis Kucinich gave me is nothing but Jokers and Queens!”

curly said...

“I hate playing with these Sharia decks: the Queens all wear burkas, nothing but Clubs, and the one-eyed jacks also have their hands cut off.”

curly said...

“I hate playing with these Reverend Wright decks: nothing but the Ace of Spades.”

Submariner said...

Does the Twink of Hearts beat the King of Spades?

Submariner said...

The new NEA-approved deck of cards still contains 52, but every one of them is a 4 of hearts.
The same card ensures there are no winers or losers;
The 4 was selected to ensure that there are no overlord cards;
The selected heart suit ensures that all gay, homosexual and transgendered children feel represented.

It was noted, however, that this deck makes for a VERY short game of 'Go Fish'

Submariner said...

PIMF - should have been "winners" but could be read as "whiners" and not change things much...