Friday, February 15, 2008

Zombie Party In My Pants, Part I


1. "Do you boys know what would really f**k the Bush-Cheney Crypto-Fascist Death Machine? Allowing yourselves to be double-sodomized by an aging hippie!"

2. "Dude, how can I pull it if you keep shaking it?" (Not the last time the stoners would be asking that question.)

3. "Dude, am I totally stoned, or is there some kind of alien spider-octopus eating that woman's head?"

4. So far, the aging hippie is the only one who's offered to take Moonbeam up on his "Make out not war," sticker. And from the look on his face, Moonbeam is considering it.

5. "So don't believe the propaganda boys! I've smoked hash every day since I was twelve. You could say I'm something of a hash fanatic! "

Very Brady Best of Whacko
"Must. succeed. in flipping. booger. off. finger. Ah, there it goes. Sorry 'bout that, trooper!"

Best of Jack Reacher
"We said we'd walk with you, gramps, but we're not sniffing your finger. Boundaries, man, boundaries."

Best of Capt. Queeg
"Dude, that dude's arm is dissolving."
"Dude, I told you not to eat the brown acid that fat stinky kid with the megaphone was handing out."

Best of Jay Guevara
"That's all you're offering me for these two fine young...well, two young specimens to my left?"

Best of divine miss m
"Whaddya mean, "What Berkeley really needs is for a tank with a water cannon to roll down the street and wash away all the poncho lice and that perpetual fetid aroma'?? Some of us actually love the smell of patchouli and body odor!"

Best of curly
Stoner 1 to Stoner 2: "Wow dude! The aging faggot can sure work that invisible yo-yo!"

Best of curly
"These evil Marine recruiters are taking all of the handome young men out of Berkeley, away from my manly anal embrace."

Best of Army of Mom
And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for these darn kids and that dog. Oh wait, these darn kids and that woman I mistook for a dog.

Best of Army of Mom
Help! Help! That hippie is wearing my quilt and pillow sham and making them all smelly!!!!

Best of Submariner
Christo positions the last few unthinking objects and finishes his newest piece; "Wasted."

26 comments:

Jack Reacher said...

"Death to the corporate bloodsuckers! Hey, d'ya like my Nikon? Pretty cool, eh?"

Jack Reacher said...

"We said we'd walk with you, gramps, but we're not sniffing your finger. Boundaries, man, boundaries."

Jack Reacher said...

Super Delegates at the Democrat National Convention will be wearing blue. Oh, there's one now.

Chrees said...

Once again proving old hippies don't die. They just smell that way.

Van Helsing said...

When the weather's nice, UC Berkeley classes are held outdoors.

Capt. Queeg said...

"Dude, that dude's arm is dissolving."

"Dude, I told you not to eat the brown acid that fat stinky kid with the megaphone was handing out."

Jay Guevara said...

"That's all you're offering me for these two fine young...well, two young specimens to my left?"

Jay Guevara said...

"And even though I already had these guys on my left as counter help, Starbucks refused to sell me a franchise. Typical corporate fascist oppression!"

Whacko said...

"Must. succeed. in flipping. booger. off. finger. Ah, there it goes. Sorry 'bout that, trooper!"

curly said...

Leave Bernie Ward alone, facist Bush pigs!

curly said...

"...and I DEMAND that my two dopey darlings and I will be posted on Thursdays only! Not Friday. Not Saturday. Not Wednesday! Just Thursday, pigs!"

divine miss m said...

"Whaddya mean, "What Berkeley really needs is for a tank with a water cannon to roll down the street and wash away all the poncho lice and that perpetual fetid aroma'?? Some of us actually love the smell of patchouli and body odor!"

curly said...

Stoner 1 to Stoner 2: "Wow dude! The aging faggot can sure work that invisible yo-yo!"

curly said...

Stoner 1 to Stoner 2: "These 'shrooms are kicking my ass! I just wish old loudmouth there would shut up so I enjoy the buzz."

curly said...

"These evil Marine recruiters are taking all of the handome young men out of Berkeley, away from my manly anal embrace."

curly said...

"I'm anal about their rights!"

Army of Mom said...

And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for these darn kids and that dog. Oh wait, these darn kids and that woman I mistook for a dog.

Army of Mom said...

Help! Help! That hippie is wearing my quilt and pillow sham and making them smelly!!!!

Army of Mom said...

Thankfully, this is not a scratch and sniff.

Army of Mom said...

Vote for Pedro.

Submariner said...

#31,947 in our continuing series on "How Nature Says Don't Touch."

Submariner said...

Christo positions the last few unthinking objects and finishes his newest piece; "Wasted."

Submariner said...

No, but I DID stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night...

Submariner said...

A mind is a terrible thing to waste...

Submariner said...

Cap This! standard # 54:

May I take a moment of your time to tell you about our saviour, Ron Paul?

Submariner said...

The protest broke up immediately when Army of Mom threw in a bar of Dial and told them "..to make sure and wash behind their ears..."

Film at 11!