Tuesday, February 19, 2008

What Willis May Have Been Talking About



1. So, their reception was held at a Ponderosa steak house? What happened to all those sweet, sweet Diff'rent Strokes royalties?

2. Just as I suspected, Dennis Kucinich was Gary Coleman in whiteface, all along.

3. Something old, Coleman's career... something new, collagen cheek injections... something borrowed, John Edwards tiara ... and something blue, Coleman's balls.

4. "And as soon as The Kid from Left Field comes out on DVD, we'll be able to afford a set of teeth for her lower jaw."

5. Later that night, Steve Urkel and Emmanuel Lewis would try to make the Eiffel Tower over a willing bridesmaid, but their arms just didn't quite reach.

Best of Submariner
"Dana introduced us after they were in a movie together..."

Best of Jack Reacher
Who set up the buffet table at the edge of the Grand Canyon, anyway?

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Gary, I'm not a virgin..."
"What you talkin' bout, Phylis?"

Best of Submariner
And in the morning? Gary's makin' waffles!

17 comments:

Submariner said...

G.C. - "Dana introduced us after they were in a movie together..."

Submariner said...

G.C. - "Actually, she LIKES shortcomings..."

Submariner said...

G.C. - "I picked her up at Old Navy when I went shopping with Dawn."

Jack Reacher said...

"I'm mini-James Brown, B**tch!"

Jack Reacher said...

"Yes, I'm half your size, but I'm twice your age. So, win-win! Well, for me, anyway."

Jack Reacher said...

"On our honeymoon, you're going to understand the phrase audacity of hope, believe me."

Jack Reacher said...

Who set up the buffet table at the edge of the Grand Canyon, anyway?

curly said...

All of the sudden I’ve turned into an abortion-is-the-answer pro-choicer.

curly said...

We Californians would probably be better off if Gary Coleman would have won the governorship instead of Arnold: at least we could laugh while our state goes down the drain.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Apparently, the world don't move to the beat of just one drum
(What might be right for you, may not be right for some).

curly said...

All right! Now we can fill the void in a whole day of Black History Month!

curly said...

“At least my wanker’s bigger than David’s.”

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Gary, I'm not a virgin..."
"What you talkin' bout, Phylis?"

curly said...

Her: “Part of your Grand Canyon prop fell on my foot!”
Him: “Let me get my rocks off.”

CJ said...

Angelina Jolie has already called dibs on the offspring.

Chrees said...

"Da cake, Shannon! Da cake!"

Submariner said...

And in the morning? Gary's makin' waffles!