1. And Barack shall call him... Mini-Messiah.
2. The Lollipop Guild was rocked today by another "juicing" scandal.
3. Entry #64 in the "Metaphor for the American military under Barack Obama" photoshop contest.
4. Hans. Franz. A midget Detroit hooker. A fault prophylactic. It doesn't take CSI to figure this one out.
5. Well, somebody's gonna get their six months free at Match dot com.
Best of Submariner
Mom? Your prom date is here...
Best of Submariner
SPORTING NEWS: Columbia's lone representative at the NFL Combine had a somewhat disappointing performance in the bench press today, managing only a 1/2 second rest before squeaking "Get this m*f* off me!".
Best of Army of Dad
"I'm tired of getting arrested after asking for pediatric size condoms! Little people are people too."
Best of Chrees
...so I asked the genie for a little head...and, well, you know the rest...
Best of prince of leaves
Nano-Me.
Best of mklasing
The computer graphic artists for 'Allah of the Rings' had so much trouble creating their version of a Hobbit.
Best of GregMan
"I don't understand. I work out at the gym, drive a flashy car, and have a great tan. Why can't I get laid?"
Best of Army of Mom
We represent the bodybuilder guild. The bodybuilder guild.
Best of Submariner
Ussef made a fortune in mideast oil. Offended at being unable to find right-sized housing, he built his own mega-apartment complex completely sized for himself, and he allows any "little person" to live there rent free. They were instantly dubbed "Ussef's Stay Free Mini Pads" of course...
Best of Submariner
Lindsay Lohan was apalled; "I thought you told me he HAD a 12" prick, Paris, not that he IS a 12" prick..."
29 comments:
No, you misunderstood. It's a dwarf throwing contest, not a throwing up at a dwarf contest.
Still haunted by his "one time" experience at band camp, Ryan Piccolo turned to weight lifting.
Who you callin' a "dumbell?"
Mom? Your prom date is here...
It isn't shopping in the kids' section at Sears that disturbs me. It's the "garanimals" that are on all my outfits.
SPORTING NEWS:
Columbia's lone representative at the NFL Combine had a somewhat disappointing performance in the bench press today, managing only a 1/2 second rest before squeaking "Get this m*f* off me!".
The dumbbells represent Ron Paul's campaign that never got off the ground, well you could pretty much spot the metaphor for a Ron Paul supporter.
That's right baby, 45 pounds of pure muscle!
"I'm tired of getting arrested after asking for pediatric size condoms! Little people are people too."
...so I asked the genie for a little head...and, well, you know the rest...
Nano-Me.
Why is this man wearing a cocky smile? Because to compensate, Nature gave him a unit the size of John Holmes'.
The computer graphic artists for 'Allah of the Rings' had so much trouble creating their version of a Hobbit.
Really, really obscure reference:
"Follow the yellow brick road, Homie!"
"Yes, Mr. Crusher, very clever, but I'm sure Commander Riker and Ensign Singh don't appreciate your transporter humor..."
With more time on his hands after leaving the campaign, Dennis Kucinich began to spend time at the local gym.
Born to hippie parents and raised on a diet of bean sprouts and tofu, Starshine never really had much of a chance in life.
"I don't understand. I work out at the gym, drive a flashy car, and have a great tan. Why can't I get laid?"
Submariner said...
Mom? Your prom date is here...
Ha ha ha. I have poops bigger than this guy.
*singing*
We represent the bodybuilder guild. The bodybuilder guild.
Carl gave up his days or working in the circus to be a human weight on a barbell at the Freak Show Gym.
Some days, Carl dressed up in an angel's suit and climbed on the shoulders of strung out druggies and pretended to be their conscience. It was always good for a laugh.
Always the entrepreneur, Carl launched his own business helping parents get their children to stay in bed. Parents paid him to jump out of the closet and pretend to be a monster whenever the children got out of bed.
Carl has a great investment broker. He earns all his money during the Christmas season working as an elf, then invests the money, so he can live off the interest the rest of the year, spending time at the gym and on the beach.
Ussef made a fortune in mideast oil. Offended at being unable to find right-sized housing, he built his own mega-apartment complex completely sized for himself, and he allows any "little person" to live there rent free. They were instantly dubbed "Ussef's Stay Free Mini Pads" of course...
Lindsay Lohan was apalled; "I thought you told me he HAD a 12" prick, Paris, not that he IS a 12" prick..."
Barack refers to him as his "Mini-Muhammed."
At least he isn't wandering around Ann Arbor, screeching along to Prince tunes on his iPod. ♫ "Ah just want your extra time and your... KISS!" ♫
Obligatory "Elf" reference:
"Hey, jack weed. I may be little, but I get more action in a week than you've had your whole life. I've got houses in LA, Hawaii, Vail and Paris, with a seventy inch plasma screen in each one of them. So I suggest you wipe that friggin' smile off your face before I bite it off."
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