Saturday, February 16, 2008

Terror at 150 Feet

Army of Mom

1. "The rail! Someone's tampered with the..." Hillary eliminates two more Obama Superdelegates.

2. Dawn never would have gotten on the coaster were it not for the promise of a "Shopping Spree" at Old Navy afterwards.

3. "Thank you for riding MC Hammer's career."

4. For President's Day, descendants of Thomas Jefferson got half-price admission to Six Flags.

5. Voters prepare themselves for the post-Republican economy.

Best of Whacko
Meanwhile, the sister in the second seat calmly changes a dirty diaper.

Best of Jack Reacher
It took a sudden, seemingly out-of-control plunge to make Dawn realize the emptiness of Obama's economic promises.

Best of curly
Oh sh!t! Ted Kennedy grabbed the controls!

Best of attmay
Rudy learns the hard way why she shouldn't have had that fifth hot dog on a very special Cosby Show.

Best of Submariner
Whispered voice over; "We've replaced 6 Flags' normal flume ride water with hydrochloric acid. Let's see if anyone notices..."

Best of Submariner
This isn't a ride; it's a metaphor for the typical NFL season for a Lion's fan. They obviously just finished the "preseason" portion...

Best of shoechick
Just before the "Jesus Juice" kicked in, Velvita realized that wasn't Mickey Mouse with the white glove in the Ladies Room.

Best of Army of Mom
Big Momma 3: Why collard greens ain't served at Six Flags

Best of Steve O
...it's going downhill fast, you don't know exactly how it's going to end, but you know it won't be pretty. Remind you of anything?

Best of Mr. Right
Yet another young American has that revelatory "President Hillary" moment...

35 comments:

Gagdad Bob said...

No baby, I said the cameraman just gonna focus, not f*ck us.

Whacko said...

Meanwhile, the sister in the second seat calmly changes a dirty diaper.

Whacko said...

Its Black Appreciation Week at Six Flags and all honkeys have to sit in the rear seats.

Jack Reacher said...

Remembering that her sister had consumed six corndogs at the park, Dawn realizes too late the implications of negative g's on her sister's digestive system.

Jack Reacher said...

It took a sudden, seemingly out-of-control plunge to make Dawn realize the emptiness of Obama's economic promises.

Chrees said...

"I think I have a Code Pink in my panties!"

Double the U said...

OH GOD! THEY ARE EVERYWHERE! RON PAUL SUPPORTERS!

prince of leaves said...

Obligatory Cap-This Caption: Where will YOU be when your laxative kicks in?

prince of leaves said...

"Mamma, no! I change my mind! I don't wanna go on the Rosie's Colon Fun-Ride!"

curly said...

Code Pink's youngest member descends into hell.

curly said...

Oh sh!t! Ted Kennedy grabbed the controls!

curly said...

Hillary promised that she we make the trains run on time, but she never promised that you’d arrive there safely.

curly said...

VtheK: Good job on the 'Solidarity' mo-ham-meds pic, piss be upon him.

trigger girlie said...

It took a while for the cleaning crew...

Jack Reacher said...

The sign was only visible once the roller coaster had entered the steep downhill portion of its travel: Now entering Livonia.

attmay said...

Journey to the Center of Michael Moore: The sort of thing that looks good on paper, now open at Six Flags.

attmay said...

Rudy learns the hard way why she shouldn't have had that fifth hot dog on a very special Cosby Show.

Submariner said...

Guess which sistah is wearin' Oops I Just Crapped My Pants ™ brand?

Submariner said...

The Democrat Primaries are all fun and games until Hillary starts poking peoples eyes out...

Submariner said...

Whispered voice over; "We've replaced 6 Flags' normal flume ride water with hydrochloric acid. Let's see if anyone notices..."

Submariner said...

This isn't a ride; it's a metaphor for the typical NFL season for a Lion's fan. They obviously just finished the "preseason" portion...

shoechick said...

Just before the "Jesus Juice" kicked in, she realized that it wasn't Mickey Mouse with the white glove. Unfortunately, she was riding the roller coaster at Neverland Ranch and this ride was going to take a while.

Army of Mom said...

Big Momma 3: Why collard greens ain't served at Six Flags

Army of Mom said...

What to do if your baby eats poison and you have no syrup of ipecac.

Army of Mom said...

The buoyancy of the gal's boobs in the second row made the train fly right off the tracks; much to Shaniqua's dismay.

Army of Mom said...

three minutes later:
*mumbling Six Flags worker*
Damn roller coaster. *mockingly* No, momma. I won't be scared. I can handle it. Yeah, she handled it alright. She handled it right into a seat full of piss.

Army of Mom said...

Soul Glo day at Six Flags.

*Lord, forgive me*

Army of Mom said...

Shaniqua finally understood what her momma meant about 'finding religion.'

Army of Mom said...

The newest controversial roller coaster at Six Flags - The Converter. If this don't make you find Jesus, nothing will.

The sign at the top of the first drop: Repent now, sinner!

Army of Mom said...

This ride sponsored dually by Oops, I Crapped My Pants and Pepto Bismal.

Army of Mom said...

Oh crap! We're headed straight toward some smelly hippies, naked chicks wearing lettuce and, oh Dear God, Hillary Clinton!!! Momma, you're taking me to hell!!!!!

Steve O said...

White people to the back of the bus!

Steve O said...

...it's going downhill fast, you don't know exactly how it's going to end, but you know it won't be pretty.

Remind you of anything?

Mr. Right said...

Yet another young American has that revelatory "President Hillary" moment...

ochagirl said...

With DarwinCare, also known as HilCare or ObamaCare, only the fit survive.

(every time I see that poor girl's face, I laugh my butt off) XD