Friday, February 22, 2008

Pricasso

Surprisingly, Not Timmeh!


1. This is the picture where Hillary found inspiration for her post-presidential career as Georgia O'Queef.

2. He's doing a caricature of John McCain. How M.C. Escher. A prick drawing a prick.

3. "Some southern chap named 'Edwards' on the phone. Says he owns the largest house east of the Mississippi River and wants to know if you could do a Sistine Chapel thing over the giraffe enclosure."

4. "Break out the viagra! I've just been commissioned to do 12,000 campaign posters for Ron Paul."

5. Why are the Berkeley police incapable of arresting the vandalism suspects? This is is their sketch artist.

Best of Whacko
A little dab'll do ya!

Best of Jack Reacher
Consult with an art critic if you experience a painting session lasting more than four hours.

Best of Gagdad Bob
Obviously influenced by the school of Old Dutch Masturbators.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Army of Mom, your prom date's been arrested again."

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"I'm losing a little inspiration here... Could you rub your nipples and try to look a little more 'two pictures ago'?"

Best of Rodney Dill
(OJA) Expose yourself to art

Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
"All you need is the desire to make beautiful things happen on canvas. With Bob's fantastic wet-on-wet technique(tm) and a little dedicated practice, masterpieces that you never dreamed possible will flow from your brush" --Bob Ross

Best of ochagirl
Meet Liberal Arts student, John Doe. When life gives you lemons, you paint portraits with your thingy.

Best of Gagdad Bob
Critics consider him a seminal artist.

Best of Van Helsing
These days you have to push tastelessness that extra mile to get an NEA grant.

Best of Submariner
Guess how he mixes his burnt umbar brown?

Best of prince of leaves
He was trying to imitate Diego Rivera, but ended up with a Dirty Sanchez.

58 comments:

Whacko said...

A little dab'll do ya!

Chrees said...

Seeing this makes me proud to be an American for the first time in my life.

Jack Reacher said...

Consult with an art critic if you experience a painting session lasting more than four hours.

Jack Reacher said...

Someone forgot to tell the NEA that Obama isn't president yet.

Jack Reacher said...

"The New York Times is on the phone. They're doing a story on an affair they say you had with a tube of red #5 back in 2001."

Gagdad Bob said...

Obviously influenced by the school of Old Dutch Masturbators.

Submariner said...

...and now my secret technique for "dotting the eye..."

Submariner said...

Yabba - Dab'll - Do - Ya!

Son Of The Godfather said...

That portrait he's doing?... spot on.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Paintin's the easy part... It's the signature that's a bitch..."
--Mr.Mxtepholqqynujfrsdsaopicopolis
Artist

Son Of The Godfather said...

Looks like she'll have an original PickAssNo.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Van Gough Away

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Do you mind if I depict you in a yellow dress?... Maybe with some pearls?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Frack, Subby, if you needed some dough, I'd loan it to ya!

Son Of The Godfather said...

"For an extra 5 bucks, I'll give it the glossy finish..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Mommy, why does your painting smell like bad cottage cheese and asparagus?"

VW = "mcliit" (I swear!)... I thought McDonald's discontinued those?

Son Of The Godfather said...

The original sign said "HAVE YOUR FACE PAINTED"?!?

Son Of The Godfather said...

Nothing says "personolized" quite like a portrait with traces of pubic hair.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I'll throw in some crabs at noextra charge... Think of it as sort of a 'living portrait'."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Army of Mom, your prom date's been arrested again."

Son Of The Godfather said...

I suspect when he pees, it looks pretty much like a "United Colors of Benetton" ad.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Ironically, his boyfriend is named "Canvas".

Son Of The Godfather said...

Slash! NOOOOOOOOO!

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I'm losing a little inspiration here... Could you rub your nipples and try to look a little more 'two pictures ago'?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

I think he got paid for twirling his dick on a palette WAY before this.

Son Of The Godfather said...

It's a pretty short step from Renoir to Ben Wa.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Lady thought bubble:
"Well, there ain't no lead in that paint."

Rodney Dill said...

(OJA)
Expose yourself to art

wacha said...

San Francisco Police Department indentikit drawer

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

This just in: PBS hires replacement for "Joy of Painting" artist Bob Ross...

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

"All you need is the desire to make beautiful things happen on canvas. With Bob's fantastic wet-on-wet techique(tm) and a little dedicated practice, masterpieces that you never dreamed possible will flow from your brush"
--Bob Ross

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

(Crap. If you use the quote from the Bob Ross website, can you add an "n" to "technique" for me? --Thanks, Uchuck)

ochagirl said...

The unfortunate consequence of parents not talking to their son about "the birds and the bees" and everything that applied.

ochagirl said...

Meet Liberal Arts student, John Doe. When life gives you lemons, you paint portraits with your thingy.

ochagirl said...

Good thing he's wearing those armwarmers, or else he'd catch a terrible chill.

ochagirl said...

Smaller size translates into greater accuracy.

cj said...

CapThis transitioned to a hard-core pron site so gradually few regulars even noticed.

Gagdad Bob said...

Critics consider him a seminal artist.

Gagdad Bob said...

although his career has had many ups and downs....

Gagdad Bob said...

He's most often compared to Picasso during his little known pubist period...

Gagdad Bob said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Van Helsing said...

These days you have to push tastelessness that extra mile to get an NEA grant.

Submariner said...

Sully dropped two quarters on the palette and claimed "Next!"

Submariner said...

But I thought the Mad Hatter was only into Tea Parties?

Submariner said...

Guess how he mixes his burnt umbar brown?

Submariner said...

Nothin' to be seein' here folks; just a man removin' his used Oops I Crapped My Pants™ brand diaper. Please to be movin' along...

Son Of The Godfather said...

Gagdad Bob said...
Critics consider him a seminal artist.


Oh, snap! Excellent.

WhoopsieDaisey said...

Did Inflated Scrotum Guy apply the basic facial shape coat? I'm just askin'...

Adjustah said...

Edith was thrilled with her original Jackson Bollock...

prince of leaves said...

He was trying to imitate Diego Rivera, but ended up with a Dirty Sanchez.

Army of Mom said...

Is it just me or does her portrait look like a bit like the alien from Close Encounters of the Third Kind?

Army of Mom said...

New Guiness beer commercial:

Rubbing one out in public AND getting paid to do it? BRILLIANT!

Army of Mom said...

For years, Dan couldn't get women to even look at his dick. now they're paying him to play with it and then give them the results.

Army of Mom said...

He signs the art: Rosie Palms.

jbinnout said...

You can tell when he is finished, he gives a little moan, Lisa.

jbinnout said...

All female caricatures have a pearl necklace.

Submariner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Submariner said...

"I may not know art, but I know what I like!" Sully said appreciatively...