1. "Senora, tell me more out this 'pimped out' daughter of yours."
2. "Why, Pedro, how did you ever escape from my gingerbread house?"
3. Castro's hand-picked successor is warmly welcomed to Havana.
4. "You must be the little boy John Edwards wants to give the pony to, the one he said he wanted to 'bareback' with.'"
5. "Do you have a sister?"
6. "Yeah, can you just hold them right there until I can get the image of Scarlett Johansen making out with Natalie Portman out of my head... oh, damn."
7. (Sigh) "Who's Bill sorry for banging this time?"
8. Dennis Kucinich was happy and excited to be named Ambassador to Mexico.
9. ORA: "Well, Mrs. Clinton, if you win, there will be injustice, suffering, and a threat to liberty on a massive scale. The other two amigos should be here momentarily."
10. ORA: The last thought to go through Pedro's mind: "What the hell does this gringo bitch mean by kali-ma, kali-ma?"
Best of Jack Reacher
"Thank you for the flowers, Pedro! My staff will see that you get a voter registration card."
Best of The Man
A female president, midget mexican assassins, and Jack Bauer on trial. With a start to season 7 of 24, maybe the writers should go back on strike.
Best of Son Of The Godfather
Wonder Woman = invisible jet
Cankles Clinton = invisible toilet
Best of mklasing
Hillary's new campaign manager seemed to think that a rally with teachers and midget mariachi players would increase her vote totals. She was beheaded later that afternoon.
Best of Rodney Dill
"Outta the way lady, I wanna see Presidente Obama."
Best of Whacko
"Look little nino, there's been a mistake. When a told my staff I needed a little breather, I didn't mean you.
Best of Merchant of Venom
"I know you're illegal sweetheart... but you have to wait until your 16 to get a drivers license."
27 comments:
"Thank you for the flowers, Pedro! My staff will see that you get a voter registration card."
No senora, the flowers are not ticking.
A female president, midget mexican assassins, and Jack Bauer on trial. With a start to season 7 of 24, maybe the writers should go back on strike.
Where Are They Now?:
Mary Kay Letourneau & Vili Fualaau
No cagues sobre Tejas!
Who mispelled the banner with the "RY" on the end?
"Si, Senora Clinton, we need you for the other half of our cultural "donkey show"... We already have the woman."
Wonder Woman = invisible jet
Cankles Clinton = invisible toilet
Another job no American will take.
Hillary's new campaign manager seemed to think that a rally with teachers and midget mariachi players would increase her vote totals. She was beheaded later that afternoon.
Sorry Senora Clinton, nothing personal; this gun isn't a toy and Senior McLame promised citizenship to my whole family for "one little favor."
When you say, "I'm voting for Pedro," waddaya mean, boy?
Aren't you sweet; but I've already had a Mexican this week so tell mommy "next week," m-kay?
"Bitches?... We don't need no stinkin' bitches!"
"Why are you so upset little boy?"
"They told me I was going to meet Don Francisco and Chespirito!"
That's nice, Chico. But tell me; do you know what a "plethora" is?
"I'm sorry, Juan...I've already pandered to Mexicans this week. Today it's teachers. Now, run along back to the barrio - and be sure to tell mami and papi to vote for Senora Clinton next Tuesday if they want to stay in Estados Unidos!"
"I'm no bullfighter!" cried Luis as he pasted Hillary with a mean right hook. "I'm a bullSHIT fighter, and I'm here to take you down!"
ORA -- Hillary: "It's easier to pull the trigger than play guitar...easier to destroy than to create."
Feeling a little Mexican?
"Say, are you strong enough to push a lawnmower?"
"Outta the way lady, I wanna see Presidento Obama."
Bullfighter vs. Queen of Bull
"Look little nino, there's been a mistake. When a told my staff I needed a little breather, I didn't mean you.
Hillary: "What's this? An Obama pin?"
Kid: "Yea, you're goin' down Mo Fo."
"I know you're illegal sweetheart... but you have to wait until your 16 to get a drivers license."
Hee, hee. Hee, hee... you know just where to tickle me, Senora!
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