Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Necesita Un Pueblo
1. "Senora, tell me more out this 'pimped out' daughter of yours."
2. "Why, Pedro, how did you ever escape from my gingerbread house?"
3. Castro's hand-picked successor is warmly welcomed to Havana.
4. "You must be the little boy John Edwards wants to give the pony to, the one he said he wanted to 'bareback' with.'"
5. "Do you have a sister?"
6. "Yeah, can you just hold them right there until I can get the image of Scarlett Johansen making out with Natalie Portman out of my head... oh, damn."
7. (Sigh) "Who's Bill sorry for banging this time?"
8. Dennis Kucinich was happy and excited to be named Ambassador to Mexico.
9. ORA: "Well, Mrs. Clinton, if you win, there will be injustice, suffering, and a threat to liberty on a massive scale. The other two amigos should be here momentarily."
10. ORA: The last thought to go through Pedro's mind: "What the hell does this gringo bitch mean by kali-ma, kali-ma?"
Best of Jack Reacher
"Thank you for the flowers, Pedro! My staff will see that you get a voter registration card."
Best of The Man
A female president, midget mexican assassins, and Jack Bauer on trial. With a start to season 7 of 24, maybe the writers should go back on strike.
Best of Son Of The Godfather
Wonder Woman = invisible jet
Cankles Clinton = invisible toilet
Best of mklasing
Hillary's new campaign manager seemed to think that a rally with teachers and midget mariachi players would increase her vote totals. She was beheaded later that afternoon.
Best of Rodney Dill
"Outta the way lady, I wanna see Presidente Obama."
Best of Whacko
"Look little nino, there's been a mistake. When a told my staff I needed a little breather, I didn't mean you.
Best of Merchant of Venom
"I know you're illegal sweetheart... but you have to wait until your 16 to get a drivers license."