Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Necesita Un Pueblo



1. "Senora, tell me more out this 'pimped out' daughter of yours."

2. "Why, Pedro, how did you ever escape from my gingerbread house?"

3. Castro's hand-picked successor is warmly welcomed to Havana.

4. "You must be the little boy John Edwards wants to give the pony to, the one he said he wanted to 'bareback' with.'"

5. "Do you have a sister?"

6. "Yeah, can you just hold them right there until I can get the image of Scarlett Johansen making out with Natalie Portman out of my head... oh, damn."

7. (Sigh) "Who's Bill sorry for banging this time?"

8. Dennis Kucinich was happy and excited to be named Ambassador to Mexico.

9. ORA: "Well, Mrs. Clinton, if you win, there will be injustice, suffering, and a threat to liberty on a massive scale. The other two amigos should be here momentarily."

10. ORA: The last thought to go through Pedro's mind: "What the hell does this gringo bitch mean by kali-ma, kali-ma?"

Best of Jack Reacher
"Thank you for the flowers, Pedro! My staff will see that you get a voter registration card."

Best of The Man
A female president, midget mexican assassins, and Jack Bauer on trial. With a start to season 7 of 24, maybe the writers should go back on strike.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Wonder Woman = invisible jet
Cankles Clinton = invisible toilet

Best of mklasing
Hillary's new campaign manager seemed to think that a rally with teachers and midget mariachi players would increase her vote totals. She was beheaded later that afternoon.
Best of Rodney Dill
"Outta the way lady, I wanna see Presidente Obama."

Best of Whacko
"Look little nino, there's been a mistake. When a told my staff I needed a little breather, I didn't mean you.

Best of Merchant of Venom
"I know you're illegal sweetheart... but you have to wait until your 16 to get a drivers license."

27 comments:

Jack Reacher said...

"Thank you for the flowers, Pedro! My staff will see that you get a voter registration card."

The Man said...

No senora, the flowers are not ticking.

The Man said...

A female president, midget mexican assassins, and Jack Bauer on trial. With a start to season 7 of 24, maybe the writers should go back on strike.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Where Are They Now?:
Mary Kay Letourneau & Vili Fualaau

Capt. Queeg said...

No cagues sobre Tejas!

Son Of The Godfather said...

Who mispelled the banner with the "RY" on the end?

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Si, Senora Clinton, we need you for the other half of our cultural "donkey show"... We already have the woman."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Wonder Woman = invisible jet
Cankles Clinton = invisible toilet

Gagdad Bob said...

Another job no American will take.

mklasing said...

Hillary's new campaign manager seemed to think that a rally with teachers and midget mariachi players would increase her vote totals. She was beheaded later that afternoon.

Submariner said...

Sorry Senora Clinton, nothing personal; this gun isn't a toy and Senior McLame promised citizenship to my whole family for "one little favor."

Submariner said...

When you say, "I'm voting for Pedro," waddaya mean, boy?

Submariner said...

Aren't you sweet; but I've already had a Mexican this week so tell mommy "next week," m-kay?

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Bitches?... We don't need no stinkin' bitches!"

Chrees said...

"Why are you so upset little boy?"

"They told me I was going to meet Don Francisco and Chespirito!"

Submariner said...

That's nice, Chico. But tell me; do you know what a "plethora" is?

prince of leaves said...

"I'm sorry, Juan...I've already pandered to Mexicans this week. Today it's teachers. Now, run along back to the barrio - and be sure to tell mami and papi to vote for Senora Clinton next Tuesday if they want to stay in Estados Unidos!"

prince of leaves said...

"I'm no bullfighter!" cried Luis as he pasted Hillary with a mean right hook. "I'm a bullSHIT fighter, and I'm here to take you down!"

prince of leaves said...

ORA -- Hillary: "It's easier to pull the trigger than play guitar...easier to destroy than to create."

Rodney Dill said...

Feeling a little Mexican?

Rodney Dill said...

"Say, are you strong enough to push a lawnmower?"

Rodney Dill said...

"Outta the way lady, I wanna see Presidento Obama."

Rodney Dill said...

Bullfighter vs. Queen of Bull

Whacko said...

"Look little nino, there's been a mistake. When a told my staff I needed a little breather, I didn't mean you.

Rodney Dill said...

Hillary: "What's this? An Obama pin?"
Kid: "Yea, you're goin' down Mo Fo."

Merchant of Venom said...

"I know you're illegal sweetheart... but you have to wait until your 16 to get a drivers license."

jeff said...

Hee, hee. Hee, hee... you know just where to tickle me, Senora!