Monday, February 11, 2008

Meanwhile, down in the Galleys


1. Rejected Novel Ideas: Harry Potter and the Forced Chinese Labor Camp.

2. Sully was disappointed in the results for his Google Image Search "Young Boys Handling Big Poles."

3. "Remedial Tree-Hugging" was an integral part of the training at President Hillary's "Junior Re-Education Camps."

4. "I swear to Mao, Wang, if you ask me one more time if I've 'got wood' I'm going to pound you to a counter-revolutionary pulp."

5. The Caber Toss field for the 2008 Olympics is expected to be completed on time with the help of "volunteer" labor.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Slave labor of the Hillary campaigm, your drink of the day?... Rain. Get it while you can... break's over in 5 minutes."

Best of Rodney Dill
'pies lesu domine....donna eis requiem' THWACK!

Best of prince of leaves
The writers strike is over. Upside: new episodes of "Heroes". Downside: a goofy plotline involving a dystopian future filled with billions of clones of Hiro Nakamura.

Best of prince of leaves
In Beijing, Code Drab Grey protestors engage in a (very brief) civil disobedience event outside a PRA recruiting center.

Best of The Man
President McCain unveils his new Asian immigration policy called "Payback is a bitch".

Best of Silhouette
Why won't our laxative kick in??? Arrrgh.

Best of attmay
Dammit, Chan, if you sing "It's the Hard Knock Life" one more time I'll give you some hard knocks that'll end your life.

Best of Cybrludite
What are the odds? I have the same batch of Chinese political prisoners clearing trees on my land.

Best of GregMan
Another batch of Shrillary's campaign donors gets back to work after contributing $35,000 apiece.

Best of mklasing
All's well at the Wall-Mart paper mill.

Best of gregory
How to speak Chinese: Recess.

37 comments:

Son Of The Godfather said...

Crowd (in unison): "KHAAAAAAAAN!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I'm sorry, but I've been forced to sell the lot of you for scientific experimentation."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Life as a speedbump is difficult.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Rosie is hungry again! More Swiss Colony Beef Logs, stat!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Slave labor of the Hillary campaigm, your drink of the day?... Rain. Get it while you can... break's over in 5 minutes."

Gagdad Bob said...

William Hung found out the hard way that it's not so fun being a loser on the Chinese version of American Idol.

Jack Reacher said...

China's work at miniturization continues slowly. Here students cooperate on using #2 pencils to take a test.

Rodney Dill said...

'pies lesu domine....donna eis requiem' THWACK!

prince of leaves said...

The writers strike is over. Upside: new episodes of "Heroes". Downside: a goofy plotline involving a dystopian future filled with billions of clones of Hiro Nakamura.

prince of leaves said...

In Beijing, Code Drab Grey protestors engage in a (very brief) civil disobedience event outside a PRA recruiting center.

duke of red said...

"Wood is whelly heavy!"

The Man said...

Inside the head of a Ron Paul supporter.

The Man said...

President McCain unveils his new Asian immigration policy called "Payback is a bitch".

Silhouette said...

Why won't our laxative kick in??? Arrrgh.

Silhouette said...

The good news is that at the next port there will be food and grog for everyone.

The bad news is that this afternoon the captain wants to go water skiing.

Army of Dad said...

Ready, Purr! Come on you razy dogs, put your backs into it and PURR!

Army of Dad said...

MXC's next challenge-Life size Lincoln Logs!

Army of Dad said...

All hail the Chairman's new rog cabin!

(all except the unfortunate souls chosen to build it)

attmay said...

Dammit, Chan, if you sing "It's the Hard Knock Life" one more time I'll give you some hard knocks that'll end your life.

Army of Mom said...

To cheer the crew, they were encouraged to sing Christmas songs:

Deck the harrs with boughs of horry. Fa ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra.

attmay said...

I guess Rosie O'Donnell now uses a rickshaw.

Army of Mom said...

Never assume you know what a personal ad really means:

Hot boys wanted; morning wood a must.

Army of Mom said...

We understand Mr. Huckabee. You've made your point. You don't have to make us act out the Bible verse:

Why do you notice the splinter in your brother's eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own?
How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me remove that splinter in your eye,' when you do not even notice the wooden beam in your own eye? You hypocrite! Remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you will see clearly to remove the splinter in your brother's eye.

Rodney Dill said...

In China how they separate the men from the boys -- pry bars and lots of leverage.

Cybrludite said...

What are the odds? I have the same batch of Chinese political prisoners clearing trees on my land.

GregMan said...

Another batch of Shrillary's campaign donors gets back to work after contributing $35,000 apiece.

GregMan said...

Training for the 2008 Peking Olympics had it's good days and it's bad days.

GregMan said...

Once President McCain made waterboarding off-limits, the FBI had to resort to other means to get information out of the latest bunch of Chinese spys.

lawhawk said...

They said that when Bush was President, the Chinese would be doing the work that Americans wouldn't do. And they were right!

mklasing said...

All's well at the Wall-Mart paper mill.

Steve O said...

In China, cell phones may be smaller, but magic wands are bigger.

jeff said...

Qwest continues outsourcing - telephone pole transportation and installation went to the Chinese Army Youth League.

sonicfrog said...

Boys Sportin' Wood. Andrew Sullivan's gonna be bummed when he hears he missed this one.

sonicfrog said...

"You're right Kenny, it sure looks like Babagenush dropped a load in his pants..."

gregory said...

How to speak Chinese: Recess.

Submariner said...

Oh, the Canton radies sing this song; doo dah, doo day...

Submariner said...

We have good news and bad news today;
The good news is you get to change your socks.
The bad news is that Kim changes with Xing, Deng changes with...