Sondra K
1. "Oh, by Great Lenin's Ghost, I do so enjoy a good ripping fart."
2. "So you say human fat can be made into bio-fuel?" Al Gore realizes he's one "harvest" away from fueling his Lear jet for the next fifty years.
3. "Charge me for two seats at the Oscars. I'll show them! I'll make a documentary that will show how Hollywood exploits ... Oh, hey, is that a Little Debbie?"
4. "I don't know son! It looks like the planet Mercury but what it's doing down here. I don't know. You'd better ask a scientist.
5. Of course I'm not happy. Look at me, I'm a big fat slob. I've got bigger titties than you do. I've got more chins than a Chinese phonebook. I've not seen my willie in two years, which is long enough to declare it legally dead. [on the verge of tears] I can't stop eating. I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a vicious cycle. Now, if you'll excuse me, there's someone I'd like to get in touch with and forgive... myself.
[Farts]
6. ORA: (for Divine Miss M) In later years, Michael Moore wandered around Ann Arbor, screeching along to Prince tunes on his iPod. ♫ "Ah just want your extra time and your... KISS!" ♫
Wicked Best of Adjustah
As she lost touch over the years with the other members of Mystery Inc., Thelma drowned her loneliness in a steady diet of Ben & Jerry's, Snickers and Jolt Cola.
Best of Gagdad Bob
The deluded swagger of a man confident in the belief that "black is slimming."
Best of mklasing
In an ironic twist, Mr. Moore was a victim of his own research into his new documentary entitled "Can Eating 3 Bags of Funyuns Induce Downs' Syndrome"
Best of joe schmedlap
"Corky" seems so happy to be working agin after years of down time after "Life goes on" was cancelled.
Best of Silhouette
In related news, a worldwide shortage of black fabric drove prices through the roof, backrupting many smaller nations.
Best of Robert
Hyacinth Bucket to MM: I do believe you're expanding deliberately.
Best of Jack Reacher
"Death to Capitalism, and the..oh, hey, my limo's here."
Best of mklasing
Moore was giddy at the request that his back be used as a screen for movie clips at this year's Oscars.
Best of Army of Mom
And then I said "not so fast, Sun Li. I saw the open sign lit up as I was walking up. You can't close down the buffet line just because you see me coming."
Best of Submariner
I laughed. I cried. I amused myself in the hair of the lady in front of me...
Best of Van Helsing
"Ha! Smelliest one I ever let! That'll teach them for not giving me an Oscar!"
Best of ShoeChick
Silent but deadly my ass. This one will break the sound barrier.
68 comments:
I thought Star Wars was over, what's Jabba the Hut doing at the Oscars?
Boy, Rosie has really let herself go!
Boy, Rosie is really looking good, huh?
Boy, Rosie is really looking good, huh?
VtK, as usual, your comments slay. ESPECIALLY # 1. That one had me wiping boogers off my upper lip.
The deluded swagger of a man confident in the belief that "black is slimming."
As she lost touch over the years with the other members of Mystery Inc., Thelma drowned her loneliness in a steady diet of Ben & Jerry's, Snickers and Jolt Cola.
In an ironic twist, Mr. Moore was a victim of his own research into his new documentary entitled "Can Eating 3 Bags of Funyuns Induce Downs' Syndrome"
"I'm dead sexy"
" I want my baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back ribs. *Chili's* Baby back ribs."
"First things first: WHERE'S YOUR SH**ER? I've got a turtle-head poking out."
"I'm bigger than you and higher up the food chain. Get in my belly."
"Corky" seems so happy to be working agin after years of down time after "Life goes on" was cancelled.
Inside every fat person, there is a skinny one trying to get out. Or in this four or five.
Voice echoing from inside..."HEEELLLLPPPP MMMMEEEE"
A body that's a cross between Orson Welles, and Marlon Brando, and the mind of Alfred E. Newman.
Random shot from Quagmire's digital camera:
Peter Griffin has a good laugh after I tell him the joke about "Three stewardesses, the pope, Jenna Jameson and an Aardvark walking into a bar"
Dang! Looks like Michael has taken up farming. He's growing a bumper crop of chins!
"Sicko" hurt more than just a little bit since it had more than just a little prick.
I smell a class-action lawsuit for the weight-loss resort...
Inside every fat man is a skinny man struggling to get out and eat everything in sight, that's why he's fat!
In related news, a worldwide shortage of black fabric drove prices through the roof, backrupting many smaller nations.
Somewhere, there's a sewage treatment plant missing a ton of s***.
I'm not fat! I'm big-boned!
Food prices are going up? Holy crap!
Hyacinth Bucket to MM: I do believe you're expanding deliberately.
"Death to Capitalism, and the..oh, hey, my limo's here."
Moore was giddy at the request that his back be used as a screen for movie clips at this year's Oscars.
Cropped from the photo is a sign which reads "If you feed the black hole, it will consume you."
"That Jared guy, from the Subway ads? I ate him! Bwahahahahahahahahaha!"
Sadly, our last photo of Mr. Moore before he accidentally walked onto a Japanese whaling dock.
It must be Thursday – in hell!
♫ I’m too sexy for my tarp ♫
A sicko, blowinging for concubines.
When Moore walks the red carpet, it measures on the Richter scale.
It was Michael Moore day in his home town to celebrate getting his own zip code.
If Elton John and John Candy reproduced, this is what it would look like.
Fat Bastard.
No, I wasn't talking about the Austin Powers character, but THAT is funny, too.
How did you like my drag role in that red restroom with the attractive Latin gentleman?
“For the first time in my adult whale life, I am proud of fat dhimmi slobs like me because it feels like being an a$$ hole commie pig is finally making a comeback.”
Plotting the demise of the country's civil liberties always gives me the giggles!
Another Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade balloon loses air.
Go A.O.M.! Yur killin' me!
Rob Reiner?
When Michael Moore sits around the house, he really sits AROUND the house.
Finally, a dirty job Mike Rowe won't even get near: cleaning Michael Moore's bellybutton lint.
And then I said "not so fast, Sun Li. I saw the open sign lit up as I was walking up. You can't close down the buffet line just because you see me coming."
Subby, your prom date was here. Then, Michael Moore ate her. You bastard! You killed Brittany!
Wow. Michael Moore's boobs are bigger than mine.
Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
Ok, unless you're Michael Moore.
Yet another sign that God protects fools and little children.
And, wearing the latest design by Omar the tent-maker, we have Michael Moore.
OchaGirl after looking at the photo MM gave her: "OMG! These 3 gorgeous black women were murdered to make your jacket?
The events that followed made OG a fugitive, even though most would have forgiven her.
Army of Mom said...
Wow. Michael Moore's boobs are bigger than mine.
uhhhh, Mom? MM's are bigger than ALL of the Cap This! crowd's. Combined.
"I've been busy doing research for my next schlockumentary. It deals with my DNA showing conclusively that I'm the 'love child' of Mama Cass and Teddy Kennedy..."
I don't know, Laura; what IS "bitter, jaded, untruthful, and has a mass equal to two blue whales?"
I laughed. I cried. I amused myself in the hair of the lady in front of me...
You're not trying to HIDE that platter of Ding Dong's, are you?
Cap This! standard # 7:
Where will YOU be when your laxative kicks in?
Subby's add on:
And will you even care?
Michael, you KNOW that "SAG" awards have nothing to do with an excess of flesh, right?
I just walked in on Hillary at the urinal! Even I need eye bleach after that!!!
Wa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ah!
George Bush will be out of office soon and I won't have anything left to hate and make fun of.
oh wait! There's still America...
But John Edwards is GOOD!
Evidently, Willie finally got free. I'm just sayin'...
Wa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ah!
I can't find the Hostess booth...
Wa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ah!
Those nasty people at Cap This! made fun of my art and beliefs...
Where will YOU be when your laxative kicks in?
When they do, there will be nothing left except the empty hide, think MIB II pizzaria owner.
"Ha! Smelliest one I ever let! That'll teach them for not giving me an Oscar!"
oooooooooooooo - WET one...
Silent but deadly my ass. This one will break the sound barrier.
Brain donor.
You got your chocolate in my mashed potatoes and gravy with butter, sour cream, shredded cheddar, chives, bacon slabs, shredded mozzarella, mushrooms, extra shredded cheddar...
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