1. "Oh, by Great Lenin's Ghost, I do so enjoy a good ripping fart."
2. "So you say human fat can be made into bio-fuel?" Al Gore realizes he's one "harvest" away from fueling his Lear jet for the next fifty years.
3. "Charge me for two seats at the Oscars. I'll show them! I'll make a documentary that will show how Hollywood exploits ... Oh, hey, is that a Little Debbie?"
4. "I don't know son! It looks like the planet Mercury but what it's doing down here. I don't know. You'd better ask a scientist.
5. Of course I'm not happy. Look at me, I'm a big fat slob. I've got bigger titties than you do. I've got more chins than a Chinese phonebook. I've not seen my willie in two years, which is long enough to declare it legally dead. [on the verge of tears] I can't stop eating. I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a vicious cycle. Now, if you'll excuse me, there's someone I'd like to get in touch with and forgive... myself.
6. ORA: (for Divine Miss M) In later years, Michael Moore wandered around Ann Arbor, screeching along to Prince tunes on his iPod. ♫ "Ah just want your extra time and your... KISS!" ♫
Wicked Best of Adjustah
As she lost touch over the years with the other members of Mystery Inc., Thelma drowned her loneliness in a steady diet of Ben & Jerry's, Snickers and Jolt Cola.
Best of Gagdad Bob
The deluded swagger of a man confident in the belief that "black is slimming."
Best of mklasing
In an ironic twist, Mr. Moore was a victim of his own research into his new documentary entitled "Can Eating 3 Bags of Funyuns Induce Downs' Syndrome"
Best of joe schmedlap
"Corky" seems so happy to be working agin after years of down time after "Life goes on" was cancelled.
Best of Silhouette
In related news, a worldwide shortage of black fabric drove prices through the roof, backrupting many smaller nations.
Best of Robert
Hyacinth Bucket to MM: I do believe you're expanding deliberately.
Best of Jack Reacher
"Death to Capitalism, and the..oh, hey, my limo's here."
Best of mklasing
Moore was giddy at the request that his back be used as a screen for movie clips at this year's Oscars.
Best of Army of Mom
And then I said "not so fast, Sun Li. I saw the open sign lit up as I was walking up. You can't close down the buffet line just because you see me coming."
Best of Submariner
I laughed. I cried. I amused myself in the hair of the lady in front of me...
Best of Van Helsing
"Ha! Smelliest one I ever let! That'll teach them for not giving me an Oscar!"
Best of ShoeChick
Silent but deadly my ass. This one will break the sound barrier.