Monday, February 18, 2008

Dr. Freud, call for you on line 1



1. "And then you hold the smoke in your lungs as long as you can, like this here, and pass the joint to the friend on your left ..."

2. "Number 12, the pump is on. Number 12, your pump is on," the career Barack Obama is actually qualified for.

3. Obama explains to skeptical Democrats how he will ascend into heaven and save them all from their sins.

4. "Whoa, this microphone has peanut butter and cheesidue all over it. I'm gonna kill that stinky fat kid."

5. "Swing your partner, dosey-doe! Hold on tight and don't let go!" (Is there no end to Obama's talents?)

Best of curly
“Here’s how Larry Sinclair was ‘working it’ in the back of the limo whilst I was smoking crack.”

Best of Submariner
"...and this here's my O face..."

Best of Army of Mom
B8. B8. The lady in the back is indicating she has a Bingo. Let's check her board.

Best of duke of red
"Hillary, you OBVIOUSLY don't understand what to do with a penis. Here, allow me to demonstrate...."

Best of shoechick
No, Senator Obama, whistling the theme from the Andy Griffith Show while standing in front of the American flag will not make the voters in the South forget that you are a black man.

Best of Jack Reacher
"Thank you, please pull forward to the first window."

Best of divine miss m
"I'd like to talk about politics, but first, a little 'Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Babe'."

Best of Mr. Right
Dozens of fatalities from alcohol poisoning have been reported at Obama rallies after drinking games were foolishly initiated using the words "change" and "hope".

Best of Rodney Dill
"Hey Hillary, watch me plagiarize Monica."

41 comments:

curly said...

“Here’s how Larry Sinclair was ‘working it’ in the back of the limo whilst I was smoking crack.”

curly said...

“Senator Craig: Call me! Please?”

Paul said...

Now, who wants to faint for me today?

curly said...

Jan. 2009: President Barack Hussein Obama begins his inaugural address with what would become the first ever nationally televised muslim call to prayer.

curly said...

“…and I would like to thank San Francisco’s mayor Gavin Newsom for showing me how to use the microphone as a prop to garner the gay vote.”

Submariner said...

"...and this here's my O face..."

Submariner said...

"And even though she thanked me later, when I spanked Oprah her face screwed up like this..."

Army of Mom said...

*tap, tap, tap*

Is this thing on?

Army of Mom said...

Would you like a strawberry shake with that?

Army of Mom said...

B8. B8.

The lady in the back is indicating she has a Bingo. Let's check her board.

Submariner said...

That idiot in New Orleans only wanted to make a "chocolate city." I'm gonna give you a black muslim nation!

Army of Mom said...

"Hey, good lookin', we'll be back to pick you up later..."

Submariner said...

The difference between us? We-e-e-e-ell, the Hilldawg voted for the Iraq war before the polls told her to vote against it. I've planned on doing away with the Armed Forces from the git-go...


Morning Mom!

Army of Mom said...

*heavy breathing* Luke, I am your father.

*giggling* Pardon me, ladies and gentlemen, I've always wanted to do that.

Submariner said...

♪ Oh, de primary race-track's 12 months long, all de doo-dah year...♪

♪ Gwine to run all spring,
Gwine to run all year...♪

curly said...

“Just like O.J. took out that evil white woman Nichole, I promise to deal with Hillary once and for all.”

corbett said...

Man, I sure hope they never find out I'm one of the Death Pimps.

duke of red said...

"Hillary, you OBVIOUSLY don't understand what to do with a penis. Here, allow me to demonstrate...."

duke of red said...

♪ Oh, de primary race-track's 12 months long, all de doo-dah year...♪

♪ Gwine to run all spring,
Gwine to run all year...♪


♪....I be de one what's runnin' for change,
But don't make funna my ears.♪

duke of red said...

Or,

..Somebody bet on the Hilldog nag,
I bet on dis right chyere.

duke of red said...

♪ Swing looooowwwwwww..... ♪

shoechick said...

No, Senator Obama, whistling the theme from the Andy Griffith Show while standing in front of the American flag will not make the voters in the South forget that you are a black man.

Jack Reacher said...

"Thank you, please pull forward to the first window."

Jack Reacher said...

"Paging Mr. Jass, first name Huge. Has anyone seen a Huge Jass? What? Why you little..."

Jack Reacher said...

"I'm James Brown, b**tch!"

Jay Guevara said...

ORA: "Pardon me while I whip this out."

Submariner said...

Well, Mr. King, the presidency is only a stop-gap position until I can get a try out for my life-long goal of a career as one of the "Pips."

Submariner said...

Jay Guevera - that really isn't much of an ORA for this crowd. The real trick here is to use any OTHER Blazing Saddles quote.

Steve O said...

Obama pantomimes how Hillary is "going down."

prince of leaves said...

Obama grunts in suprise as the first of many Clinton Mafia daggers is plunged (metaphorically) into his back.

Anonymous said...

"Basketball, basketball, Cadillac car,
We ain't as dumb as you think we be."

divine miss m said...

"I'd like to talk about politics, but first, a little 'Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Babe'."

Mr. Right said...

Soon after his speech began, the microphone melted and half-a-dozen ladies in the front row fainted, but no one thought to offer the Senator a Tic-Tac.

Mr. Right said...

♪ ...I was gonna go to work but then I got high
I just got a new promotion but I got high
now I'm selling dope and I know why
- cause I got high
- cause I got high
- cause I got high!!! ♪

curly said...

“It takes a village to tell me that I don’t feel no ways tired, nor am I a plagiarist.”

Mr. Right said...

Dozens of fatalities from alcohol poisoning have been reported at Obama rallies after drinking games were foolishly initiated using the words "change" and "hope".

Submariner said...

�� Who's zooming who? ��

Jonathan said...

"And if I'm elected, I promise to...WHOA, look at the funbags on that hoochie!"

Rodney Dill said...

"Hey Hillary, watch me plagiarize Monica."

Jay Guevara said...

"Whoa, whoa, whoa Feeeeeelings..."

Blazing Saddles said...

"Not THAT one! The OTHER one!"