Friday, January 25, 2008

When You Gotta Go, You Gotta Go

Timmah!


1. "Trust me, you don't want to go in there. Whew!"

2. Because of the long line at the port-a-potties, Karl Rove misses Norma Jean's entire Warped Tour set.

3. Hillary: "What a coincidence. I have this outfit! Yes, the belted strap-ons, too."

4. Darth Vader scrapes his boots after a hilariously tragic miscalculation causes the Empire pre-position all of its teleportation modules on the periphery of a "Stop the War/Impeach Bush" rally.

5. George Michael has failed Lord Vader for the last time.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"The smell is strong with this one."

Best of Son Of The Godfather
If you had your butt cheeks fused together by lava, you'd be cranky too.

Best of Jack Reacher
"I've got to find better places to meet sources," muttered Novak.

Best of Rodney Dill
"...not a lifepod... how embarrassing."

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"So, the Rebel scum are caught in the garbage compactor, eh? Let 'em wrestle with with what I just flushed for awhile!"

Best of Submariner
♪ Springtime, for Vader, and the Empire...♪

Best of Submariner
So much for that nuisance, Jar Jar Binks.

Best of racerboy
"You came in that? You're braver than I thought."

Best of Gagdad Bob
Indoor plumbing was a distant fantasy on the Wyoming farm where a young Dick Cheney grew up.

Best of Rodney Dill
"I got the Kessel runs 12 parsecs ago."

Best of Dwight's Writing Manifesto
Meh. You know, the smell is really not so bad if you just wave your light sabre around for a few seconds.

Best of attmay
"I haven't smelled a stench so rank since that Holiday Special I did 30 years ago."

Best of Jonathan
"Sorry, Senator Craig, but you're not fooling anybody!"


66 comments:

Submariner said...

Hillary arrives by transporter for the '08 Dem. National Convention.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"The smell is strong with this one."

Mornin' Subby ;)

Submariner said...

Hillary's thought bubble; "Now - where ARE those interns?"

Submariner said...

"Who does #2 work for? Good thing the Force was with me!

Afternoon, mi amigo.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"So you couldn't even spare a single square?... Now you will experience the full power of the Dark Side!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

The Dark Lord of the "Pffffth!"

Submariner said...

Dark Helmet finds an available escape pod, or so he thinks.

Son Of The Godfather said...

If you had your butt cheeks fused together by lava, you'd be cranky too.

Son Of The Godfather said...

It's a port-a-potty. I don't think the "wide stance" defense will work.

Jack Reacher said...

"I've got to find better places to meet sources," muttered Novak.

Submariner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Submariner said...

While the costumes were great, the Tie fighter special effects left a lot to be desired in Ed Woods' remake of Star Wars IV.

Jack Reacher said...

"Said he was a senator. I showed him my light saber, and said 'whaddya think of that, huh?' Jackass."

Jack Reacher said...

Since the writers' strike began, game shows have really gone downhill.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Man, that was interesting... next time, NO CAPE!"

Rodney Dill said...

"...not a lifepod... how embarrassing."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Lord Vader, how... how did you manage to..."
"I used to bullseye wamp rats in my T-16 back home. They’re not much bigger than two meters."

Son Of The Godfather said...

I guess you don't need to wash your hands if you use the force for all the "dirty" work.

Rodney Dill said...

Hmmm... why is it that you never see Hillary Clinton and Darth Vader together at the same time....

Son Of The Godfather said...

"So, the Rebel scum are caught in the garbage compactor, eh? Let 'em wrestle with with what I just flushed for awhile!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Now there goes some midi-chlorians I'll never get back..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Note to self: Do NOT order a pork sandwich off of the Death Star lunch truck."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I find your lack of hand-towels disturbing.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I sense something. A presence I've not felt since..."
*PFFFFFFFTH*
"Excuse me."

Silhouette said...

Top Five Star Wars Euphemisms for going to the bathroom


5. I gotta go moon the space station.
4. I'm going in to Toshe Station to pick up a power converter.
3. I'm going into the garbage shute, flyboy.
2. I gotta go make the Kessel run.


1. I gotta go shake the wookiee.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced."
"Yeah, sorry 'bout that... I shouldn't have had the pasta primavera at the Olive Garden."

Submariner said...

♪ Springtime, for Vader, and the Empire...♪

Submariner said...

Thought bubble; I can just hear Master Yoda after THAT one - "Bind your bowels, you should..."

Submariner said...

So much for that nuisance, Jar Jar Binks.

Chrees said...

ORA: "What's the movie going to be called?"

"Port-O-Sans"

"Cooool"

Tremor said...

"Look at the size of that thing!!!"

racerboy said...

"You came in that? You're braver than I thought."

Submariner said...

Dammit! No "diaper station" in this one either...

Gagdad Bob said...

Indoor plumbing was a distant fantasy on the Wyoming farm where a young Dick Cheney grew up.

sonicfrog said...

Yep, it looks like Lukas is making yet another crappy Star Wars movie. This shot of the first generation Tie Fighters does not entice me to wanna go see it.

Rodney Dill said...

"I got the Kessel runs 12 parsecs ago."

Rodney Dill said...

"Heh heh, I crap bigger'n Yoda."

baslimthecripple said...

Comment deleted

This post has been removed by the author.

12:42 PM

Just wondering what plumbs-the- bottom-of-the-cesspit comment it takes to get deleted off a string like this one?

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I can't believe I dropped the keys to the Tie down there."

Rodney Dill said...
"I got the Kessel runs 12 parsecs ago."


"Kessel runs"... HA!
---------------------------------
baslimthecripple said...
Just wondering what plumbs-the- bottom-of-the-cesspit comment it takes to get deleted off a string like this one?


baslim, those are self-deletes (removed by the actual poster)... Probably done for spelling errors, since we at Cap This! have no shame.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Man, that was a movement Beethoven would have envied."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Whoah! Should've knocked first... Sorry 'bout that. You continue doing whatever you were doing, Mr. The Hutt... I'll come back later... much... later."

Son Of The Godfather said...

It appears that a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, there was still a "Spearmint Rhino" where Lord Vader was able to frequent the nudie booths.

curly said...

Metaphor alert: Hillary takes a dump and Kucinich drops out of the race.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Nothing can undermine your authority quicker than toilet paper stuck to your boot.

curly said...

Darth delivers “change”.

curly said...

Darth votes for Hillary, forgets to wipe afterwards.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"And voila! The Emperor has disappeared from the magic pod!... Oh, and by the way, we just destroyed your planet. Thank you, enjoy the rest of the show! Remember, tip your waiter, they work really hard."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Well, you've traded your vacation on Alderaan for door number one. Let's see what you've won!... OH, it's the Dark Lord of the Sith, so I'm afraid it's the mining colony at Kessel for you! Thanks for playing!"

lawhawk said...

Darth Rove reports for work after providing bad jobu during the 2006 elections for the GOP.

John Edwards wonders how things could go so wrong so fast. He was on the fast path to being VP, and now he's out here at the ass-end of space cleaning port-a-potties.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Thought bubble:
"How can I, Darth Vader, conquerer of entire systems, second in command of the Empire, tell the doctor that it hurts when I pee?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"God I hate the restrooms at Mos Eisley."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"This is CNN"...

No...

"This is CNN"...

No...

"This is CNN."

Yes! Nailed it!

Son Of The Godfather said...

The first and last day of Stormtrooper Kelly:
"Yes you in the ninja-robot getup, I asked you if you had a hall pass."

Dwight's Writing Manifesto said...

Meh. You know, the smell is really not so bad if you just wave your light sabre around for a few seconds.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Star Wars as a Greek Tragedy:
"That Princess Leia is kind of a hottie..."

Van Helsing said...

"Off I go, broken hearted; paid my quarter and only farted."

Rodney Dill said...


"God I hate the restrooms at Mos Eisley."


You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

Targetpractice said...

CapThis! Classic: "Things just haven't been the same for the Dark Lord of the Sith since the Empire got bought out by Microsoft."

prince of leaves said...

"Gawds, a fully-encapsulating helmet with breathing gear and HEPA-filters, and the smell *still* got in...that's gotta be the worst port-o-let in the galaxy."

prince of leaves said...

"Note to self: go easy on the Tabasco the next time the Emperor serves ewok tenderloin."

Rodney Dill said...

"Gotta remember not to use the one Jabba just used."

attmay said...

Once again, another Disturbance in the Force that could have easily been handled with a little Immodium A-D.

attmay said...

"I haven't smelled a stench so rank since that Holiday Special I did 30 years ago."

Jonathan said...

"Sorry, Senator Craig, but you're not fooling anybody!"

Submariner said...

Failed ad campaigns #2731:

Is your constant "going" causing problems with your empire expansion? Instead of a going problem, you may have a growing problem that even the Force can't control. Have your doctor check your prostrate to be sure.

Rodney Dill said...

and now I think of the

Imodium Pew-36 explosive space modulator