Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Ululululululululululululululu, Part I



1. After leaving office, Bush trained as a moehl.

2. After Nancy Pelosi, Hillary Clinton, Joy Behar, Katie Couric, Medea Benjamin, Cindy Sheehan, Barbara Boxer, Gloria Steinem, Cynthia McKinney, Madeleine Albright, Maureen Dowd, and Cher were ritually beheaded on the White House lawn, Americans embraced shariah law by wide margins.

3. "On three, we charge into Hillary's cooter and see if we can clean out all that brush."

4. Bush chuckled, "I see someone's over-compensating big time. Cheney could kill this guy with a pocket knife."

5. "Say it with me, Sheikh Yerbouti. 'By the power of Greyskull!...'"

Best of curly
Dizzy from jet lag, disgusting food and entertainment that would make a pedophile blush, President Bush wonders whether it’s Kill-the-Jooos Monday, Stone-the-Queers Tuesday, Decapitate-the-Infidels Wednesday, Honor-Killing Thursday, Jihad Friday, Clitorectomy Saturday, or Allah-Akbar Sunday.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Sorry, Abdullah, you know the rules... There can be only one!"
*SWOOOSH*
*THUD*
*lightning*

Best of Jack Reacher
"So, is this one of those Brazilian restaurants where waiters bring around slabs of meat on swords? 'cause I'm gettin' hungry, Prince."

Best of Jack Reacher
"Well, it's been fun in the eight century and all, Prince, but I've gotta get back to the world."

Best of curly
A sword in the hand is worth two in the Bush.

Best of Submariner
Uh, no yer holiness; when I asked if ya had a Sharpie, I meant...

Best of Submariner
Boy, Shiek - you really take yer D & D seriously!

Best of lawhawk
I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry - the sequel.

Best of Mr. Right
"Very good, Mr. President. Now, remember, the sword will glow blue whenever the one called Hillary approaches, but you must remember to look only at her reflection, lest you be turned to stone!"

Best of Submariner
I don't know 'bout this here sword... But I got sweet bow staff skills, Shiek. GOSH

39 comments:

The Man said...

The Saudis were unimpressed with the arms deal Bush offered them. How are young Saudis going to sneak these on airplanes?

The Man said...

Bush: Why does mine curve up?
Aide: Genetics, sir.

curly said...

Dizzy from jet lag, disgusting food and entertainment that would make a pedophile blush, President Bush wonders whether it’s Kill-the-Jooos Monday, Stone-the-Queers Tuesday, Decapitate-the-Infidels Wednesday, Honor-Killing Thursday, Jihad Friday, Clitorectomy Saturday, or Allah-Akbar Sunday.

curly said...

“So when we see the little girl that really floats our boat, our raised sword both mimics our aroused state and warns the girls parents to back off.”

curly said...

President Bush asks to see which surgeon’s knives would be needed to perform a clitorectomy on Rosie O’Dumbell.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Sorry, Abdullah, you know the rules... There can be only one!"
*SWOOOSH*
*THUD*
*lightning*

Van Helsing said...

"Heh heh. I'd like to ram this thing right up his… Heh heh heh."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"You've bled with Wallace!... Now bleed with me!"
*SWOOOSH*
*THUD*

Jack Reacher said...

"So, is this one of those Brazilian restaurants where waiters bring around slabs of meat on swords? 'cause I'm gettin' hungry, Prince."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Who controls the British crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do, we do

Who keeps Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
We do, we do

Who holds back the elctric car?
Who makes Steve Gutenberg a star?
We do, we do

Who robs gamefish of their site?
Who rigs every Oscar night?
We do, we do!

curly said...

“We Arabs call this ‘foreplay’.”

Jack Reacher said...

"Okay, we're ready. Send in Ahmadinejad."

curly said...

President Bush does well at ‘caliphate calisthenics’ until it’s time to shout ‘Death to America’.

Jack Reacher said...

President Bush joins the Saudi royal family in signaling the next direction of crude oil prices.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"OK Achmed, you're smelly, we're both pirates... let's go out and get us some!"

Jack Reacher said...

"Well, it's been fun in the eight century and all, Prince, but I've gotta get back to the world."

Jack Reacher said...

Local potentates welcome Britney Spears--the latest American has-been pop star to emigrate--to Saudi Arabia, .

Jack Reacher said...

The Saudi Arabian Mardi Gras leaves something to be desired, although local revelers shouting "Show us your ankles" can bring excitement to the revelry.

curly said...

The Sheik was proud of his ‘Endorsed by OJ Simpson’ sword collection.

curly said...

Sheik Yurbooty: “By decree and threat of death, no sword can be longer than mine.”

President Bush: “In the US, we take Viagra to compensate for our shortcomings.”

Army of Mom said...

Bush knew he should be armed before breaking into song "Sheik your booty, sheik your booty!"

Army of Mom said...

Bush thought cloud: Damn PR person is getting fired for this photo op. Give me the short sword. I don't need no friggin' sword to feel like a man. Nope, no sir. Just ask Laura.

curly said...

“Perhaps you should hold up a box cutter like your infamous citizen Mohammed Atta, Your Excellency.”

curly said...

A sword in the hand is worth two in the Bush.

duke of red said...

"I've always wanted to have a go at this decapitation stuff."

Jay Guevara said...

Bush thought bubble as he glances to his left: "Oooh, for two cents I'd ..."

Submariner said...

Uh, no yer holiness; when I asked if ya had a Sharpie, I meant...

Submariner said...

What do you know? My favorite table at the Italian restaraunt has that same outfit!

Submariner said...

Thanks, Shiek - they wouldn't let me carry my sword when I was in the TANG...

Submariner said...

Boy, Shiek - you really take yer D & D seriously!

Submariner said...

So ya just lop off the right hand a the guy who wrote the bad press 'bout ya? Word!

Submariner said...

It's good to be da king? Yeah, yeah, I know - Mel Brooks told me that once...

Submariner said...

Sorry yer Shiekness, but "what does you at Avalon Manor, stays at Avalon Manor." Please put down the sword...

Rodney Dill said...

Sheik: "Oops, sorry, what nickname you give the VP now Mr. President Bush?"

Submariner said...

I guess I WAS wrong about my pen, Shiek.

lawhawk said...

Damnit George. Stop playing with the Sheikh before I come over there and smack you upside the head. /Barbara

I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry - the sequel.

Mr. Right said...

"Very good, Mr. President. Now, remember, the sword will glow blue whenever the one called Hillary approaches, but you must remember to look only at her reflection, lest you be turned to stone!"

Mr. Right said...

ORA...

"Only after you have mastered both the windscar AND the backlash wave, will you truly be able to wield the full power of Tetsusaiga and defeat Naraku!"

Submariner said...

I don't know 'bout this here sword... But I got sweet bow staff skills, Shiek. GOSH