Monday, January 21, 2008

Thought Balloon: "Kill Me Now"



1. "Why did I marry her? Why didn't I just put a loaded gun in my mouth? Why God, Why?"

2. "Holy crap, look at that ass. Somewhere, a semi-truck is missing its 'Oversized Load' sign.

3. "Somewhere, there's two fat girls naked in a hot tub and I'm stuck here listening to her jabber on about health care. Cheese, Rush is right, she does sound like Nurse Ratched."

4. "Now I know what Michael Jordan feels like when he watches the Special Olympics."


5. "I was gonna catch Bin Laden until I got high
I was gonna reform social security, but then I got high..."


Best of Jack Reacher
"The presidency, huge book deal, multi-million dollar contracts consulting for Persian Gulf companies, and still I go home to that. I should have taken that job with the KGB."

Best of Targetpractice
"And the worst part is, unlike most of my worst decisions in life, I can't gnaw off my arm and run the morning after."

Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
Although Hillary droned on without even a flinch, Bill couldn't hide his horror at her thunderously audible flatulence

Best of GOP & College
Blue dress...Blue dress...Blue Dress.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
I came from that highly-interesting MLK remembrance for this?

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Yes you... plant in the second row..."

Best of Son Of The Godfather
ORA: "Oh, Rochester..."

Best of andthenblammo
Hail to the Queef

Best of lawhawk
Is that wiseass making faces at me again. I'll smack him so hard that he'll be covering his other cheek for a week. /hillary

Best of dj
“Blah, blah, blah, One ring to rule them all, blah, blah, blah.”

Best of Rodney Dill
"....hope that thing beeps when it backs up..."

Best of Submariner
A heart attack will get me out of this - please Lord - is that too much to ask?

42 comments:

Jack Reacher said...

"What's really sad is that I can't even claim I didn't inhale."

Jack Reacher said...

"The presidency, huge book deal, multi-million dollar contracts consulting for Persian Gulf companies, and still I go home to that. I should have taken that job with the KGB."

Targetpractice said...

"And the worst part is, unlike most of my worst decisions in life, I can't gnaw off my arm and run the morning after."

Targetpractice said...

"Suddenly, Vince's suicide makes a lot more sense."

Targetpractice said...

"I wonder if Ted's offer to take her for a midnight cruise is still open?"

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

Although Hillary droned on without even a flinch, Bill couldn't hide his horror at her thunderously audible flatulence

mklasing said...

"Great, now I have to go defend this crap to the media---again"

duke of red said...

Where will you be when the thought First Husband kicks in?

GOP & College said...

1) "Man when she loses this thing I'm going strait to divorce court."

2) "Geez, she can't even lie right. At least people believed me."

3) "I really wish I didn't have to have sex with THAT woman."

4) Blue dress...Blue dress...Blue Dress.

Son Of The Godfather said...

I came from that highly-interesting MLK remembrance for this?

Son Of The Godfather said...

Bill's thought bubble:
"1 year... 1 effin year per our contract, then I'm outta here."

andthenblammo! said...

Hail to the queef!

Son Of The Godfather said...

Here we see the back of the head of the newly-hired "guy who checks for 'Iron-my-shirt!' signs"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Yes you... plant in the second row..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

I might actually believe it if Bill trys that tearing-up thing.

Son Of The Godfather said...

ORA:
"Oh, Rochester..."

andthenblammo! said...

"This is awful; I love my country, I know she'll ruin it. She just has to whisper 'Remember what happened to Vince' in my ear and I get the cold chills up my spine. Help!"

Rodney Dill said...

Hail to the Queef

Excellent andthenblammo

Rodney Dill said...

Kiss her and she'll turn into a President... now that is a fairy tale.

Rodney Dill said...

Bill: "Harley Davidson... Harley Davidson... why do I keep thinking aboub Harley Davidson? Oh yeah, riding a hog."

prince of leaves said...

"I was all set to vote for this woman, but man, the more she talks, the better Obama seems..."

prince of leaves said...

"How do I tell her...what will I say...'Honey, I think Ron Paul is the Only Man Who Can Save America'? She'll kill me this time for sure."

lawhawk said...

America, you know me. You feel my pain. If she doesn't win in 08, it's been nice knowing you because my life will be a living hell. /bill clinton

Is that wiseass making faces at me again. I'll smack him so hard that he'll be covering his other cheek for a week. /hillary

Son Of The Godfather said...

Rodney Dill said...
Hail to the Queef

Excellent andthenblammo
br/>
Seconded... nice!

dj said...

Bill: “That reminds me. I forgot to get the rear end of the Edsel fixed.”

Her: “Got MLK?”
Him: “Got MILF?”

Bill: “Blah, blah, blah, One ring to rule them all, blah, blah, blah.”

Bill: “As bad as her ass is, at least I don’t have to see her face.”

Luring disco dollies to a life of

Rodney Dill said...

"....hope that thing beeps when it backs up..."

Submariner said...

She's absolutely blowing the opportunity for me to have my 3rd term, dammit!

Submariner said...

Gaia! The more she talks the more I think I'll vote for Kucinich!

Submariner said...

How can she have spent all those years campaigning with me and STILL be this bad?

Submariner said...

Must.Not.Doze.Off.z..zz.zzzzz
WAZZAT? Crap - whose speach? Is that ass Hill or alGore?

Submariner said...

One little indiscretion in college. That's it! And for that I have to spend an eternity with this?

Submariner said...

A heart attack will get me out of this - please Lord - is that too much to ask?

Submariner said...

"Bill Clinton for First Lady" the T shirt said. Will I have to put up with that for 4 years if she wins?

Submariner said...

Can you will yourself into an embolism?

Paul said...

when are those dang sleeping pills gonna kick in?

Van Helsing said...

Bubba realizes he may have to vote Republican.

Son Of The Godfather said...

I did some hella-cool thing to make all your comments past my last one go into italics mode.

Would that I could harness such power!

Son Of The Godfather said...

...Oh crap, it's ALL the comments! Italics hell! YEEEEEARGH!

Submariner said...

Thought ballon:
Kill Hill...

Submariner said...

ohmygawd - I hit THAT? howthehell do you go back to UN-"Claritin clear?"

Colonel Forbin said...

Where is Monica Lewinsky when you need her?

SnarkyOne said...

'Payback is a bitch. Now I will have to deal with Hillary's bimbo eruptions.'