1. "Why did I marry her? Why didn't I just put a loaded gun in my mouth? Why God, Why?"
2. "Holy crap, look at that ass. Somewhere, a semi-truck is missing its 'Oversized Load' sign.
3. "Somewhere, there's two fat girls naked in a hot tub and I'm stuck here listening to her jabber on about health care. Cheese, Rush is right, she does sound like Nurse Ratched."
4. "Now I know what Michael Jordan feels like when he watches the Special Olympics."
5. "I was gonna catch Bin Laden until I got high
I was gonna reform social security, but then I got high..."
Best of Jack Reacher
"The presidency, huge book deal, multi-million dollar contracts consulting for Persian Gulf companies, and still I go home to that. I should have taken that job with the KGB."
Best of Targetpractice
"And the worst part is, unlike most of my worst decisions in life, I can't gnaw off my arm and run the morning after."
Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
Although Hillary droned on without even a flinch, Bill couldn't hide his horror at her thunderously audible flatulence
Best of GOP & College
Blue dress...Blue dress...Blue Dress.
Best of Son Of The Godfather
I came from that highly-interesting MLK remembrance for this?
Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Yes you... plant in the second row..."
Best of Son Of The Godfather
ORA: "Oh, Rochester..."
Best of andthenblammo
Hail to the Queef
Best of lawhawk
Is that wiseass making faces at me again. I'll smack him so hard that he'll be covering his other cheek for a week. /hillary
Best of dj
“Blah, blah, blah, One ring to rule them all, blah, blah, blah.”
Best of Rodney Dill
"....hope that thing beeps when it backs up..."
Best of Submariner
A heart attack will get me out of this - please Lord - is that too much to ask?
42 comments:
"What's really sad is that I can't even claim I didn't inhale."
"The presidency, huge book deal, multi-million dollar contracts consulting for Persian Gulf companies, and still I go home to that. I should have taken that job with the KGB."
"And the worst part is, unlike most of my worst decisions in life, I can't gnaw off my arm and run the morning after."
"Suddenly, Vince's suicide makes a lot more sense."
"I wonder if Ted's offer to take her for a midnight cruise is still open?"
Although Hillary droned on without even a flinch, Bill couldn't hide his horror at her thunderously audible flatulence
"Great, now I have to go defend this crap to the media---again"
Where will you be when the thought First Husband kicks in?
1) "Man when she loses this thing I'm going strait to divorce court."
2) "Geez, she can't even lie right. At least people believed me."
3) "I really wish I didn't have to have sex with THAT woman."
4) Blue dress...Blue dress...Blue Dress.
I came from that highly-interesting MLK remembrance for this?
Bill's thought bubble:
"1 year... 1 effin year per our contract, then I'm outta here."
Hail to the queef!
Here we see the back of the head of the newly-hired "guy who checks for 'Iron-my-shirt!' signs"
"Yes you... plant in the second row..."
I might actually believe it if Bill trys that tearing-up thing.
ORA:
"Oh, Rochester..."
"This is awful; I love my country, I know she'll ruin it. She just has to whisper 'Remember what happened to Vince' in my ear and I get the cold chills up my spine. Help!"
Hail to the Queef
Excellent andthenblammo
Kiss her and she'll turn into a President... now that is a fairy tale.
Bill: "Harley Davidson... Harley Davidson... why do I keep thinking aboub Harley Davidson? Oh yeah, riding a hog."
"I was all set to vote for this woman, but man, the more she talks, the better Obama seems..."
"How do I tell her...what will I say...'Honey, I think Ron Paul is the Only Man Who Can Save America'? She'll kill me this time for sure."
America, you know me. You feel my pain. If she doesn't win in 08, it's been nice knowing you because my life will be a living hell. /bill clinton
Is that wiseass making faces at me again. I'll smack him so hard that he'll be covering his other cheek for a week. /hillary
Rodney Dill said...
Hail to the Queef
Excellent andthenblammo
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Seconded... nice!
Bill: “That reminds me. I forgot to get the rear end of the Edsel fixed.”
Her: “Got MLK?”
Him: “Got MILF?”
Bill: “Blah, blah, blah, One ring to rule them all, blah, blah, blah.”
Bill: “As bad as her ass is, at least I don’t have to see her face.”
Luring disco dollies to a life of
"....hope that thing beeps when it backs up..."
She's absolutely blowing the opportunity for me to have my 3rd term, dammit!
Gaia! The more she talks the more I think I'll vote for Kucinich!
How can she have spent all those years campaigning with me and STILL be this bad?
Must.Not.Doze.Off.z..zz.zzzzz
WAZZAT? Crap - whose speach? Is that ass Hill or alGore?
One little indiscretion in college. That's it! And for that I have to spend an eternity with this?
A heart attack will get me out of this - please Lord - is that too much to ask?
"Bill Clinton for First Lady" the T shirt said. Will I have to put up with that for 4 years if she wins?
Can you will yourself into an embolism?
when are those dang sleeping pills gonna kick in?
Bubba realizes he may have to vote Republican.
I did some hella-cool thing to make all your comments past my last one go into italics mode.
Would that I could harness such power!
...Oh crap, it's ALL the comments! Italics hell! YEEEEEARGH!
Thought ballon:
Kill Hill...
ohmygawd - I hit THAT? howthehell do you go back to UN-"Claritin clear?"
Where is Monica Lewinsky when you need her?
'Payback is a bitch. Now I will have to deal with Hillary's bimbo eruptions.'
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