Wednesday, January 30, 2008

People Who May Have Paid Too Much for Sunless Tanning




1. Police in North Carolina today broke up an illegal Oompah-Loompah Marriage-Citizenship ring.

2. "Marmalade facials and pink tuxes on prom night? Are you sure you guys wouldn't rather be with each other?"

3. "So, you thought it would be 'fun' to try and drink Hi-C Orangeade from a firehose? You guys are the worst prom dates ever."

4."On second thought, maybe I'll save my virginity for someone who isn't a total flaming douche."

5. "You know the funny thing about the amount of ecstasy it would take for you guys to get lucky with us? It doesn't exist."

Best of GregMan
What are the odds? I have this complexion.

Best of The Man
Orangey and Ivory, live together in perfect harmony.

Best of Jack Reacher
Once you go orange, you'll never....aw, hell, another falls victim to the lack of a word rhyming with orange.

Best of sonicfrog
The new film "The Brides of George Hamiltons" was so bad, it was neither screened nor sun-screened prior to it's release.

Best of prince of leaves
A moment later the boys were coaxed into smiling, permanently blinding the CCD sensor in the camera with the supernova glare from their aggressively-bleached teeth.

Best of Cybrludite
The live action "Star Blazers" movie didn't quite get the Gammalons' skin tones right.

Best of kg
Girls gone Oompa Loompa Wild.

Best of Submariner
Thundercats - the ORIGINAL "wedding crashers."


27 comments:

GregMan said...

"Orange they cute?"

I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.

GregMan said...

Two John Edwards supporters can barely conceal their rage when they learn that Silky Pony is quitting the race.

GregMan said...

What are the odds? I have this complexion.

GregMan said...

Things were never the same in the town of Midvale after the explosion at the paint factory.

The Man said...

Orangey and Ivory, living together in harmony.

The Man said...

Don't spray me bro'

Jack Reacher said...

Once you go orange, you'll never....aw, hell, another falls victim to the lack of a word rhyming with orange.

Jack Reacher said...

When she got home that night, Barbara's mother said "You've either been making out with that orange boy again, or eating a helluva lot of Cheetos."

andthenblammo! said...

Spiros and Zorba find that the gyros roaster tans a little faster than a tanning bed. A lot cheaper, though!

attmay said...

Mike and Brian found two girls who were convinced by their tan-in-a-can. They were both legally blind.

attmay said...

What happens when you turn the color up too high on your monitor. Those girls are actually albino.

sonicfrog said...

The new film "The Brides of George Hamiltons" was so bad, it was neither screened nor sun-screened prior to it's release.

prince of leaves said...

Sure they were dorks, but going to the prom with them after their tragic accident at the enrichment plant was the least the girls could do to make Tristan and Trevor's final days as happy as possible.

prince of leaves said...

Whatever you think about immigration, you gotta give props to illegals from Photonegativia for making an effort to assimilate.

prince of leaves said...

A moment later the boys were coaxed into smiling, permanently blinding the CCD sensor in the camera with the supernova glare from their aggressively-bleached teeth.

prince of leaves said...

When will they learn: if it's not Avalon Manor, it's just a pale imitation!

Submariner said...

Nice. Making fun of Tennessee Volunteers fan. Read their stories. Edumucate yourselves. Morons.

Cybrludite said...

Bezelbub & Moloch go to prom

Cybrludite said...

The live action "Star Blazers" movie didn't quite get the Gammalons' skin tones right.

kg said...

Girls gone Oompa Loompa Wild.

Submariner said...

After a brief heyday in the 80's, the Thundercats had to assimilate back into society...

Submariner said...

or...


The Thundercats - the ORIGINAL "wedding crashers."

Silhouette said...

"Will you be wanting these prints in full color, grayscale, or maybe you'd like sepia tone?"

mklasing said...

In a historic event, the first boys born to residents of Three Mile Island are finally attending their high school prom.

champaignken said...

Fox's newest reality show: Who's prom date is gayest?

Army of Mom said...

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to prom with me?

*god, I know its lame, I stay home with kids all day, sue me. These are the kinds of jokes that entertain 5-year-olds, so I thought they might work at SOTG, at least*

Submariner said...

...and thank you for giving generously to the Oompah Loompah Prom Fund. After all, a tan is a terrible thing to waste!