Thanks, Sheila
1. With Hillary, the term "soul food" has more than one meaning.
2. "Inter-generational, bi-racial lesbianism... you know what I'm talkin' about!"
3. "Welcome to the Hillary 08 campaign, honey-child. My husband Bill will now take away your dreams and aspirations. You can have them back at the end of my second term."
4. "You ever see that episode of Star Trek where Uhura and Shatner make out? You know what I'm talkin' about."
5. "Look, Sheniquah, your mom could have taken the easy way out. We have a whole fund set aside to provide 'planned parenthood' for Bill's ho's. But, she didn't, and now I gotta go Vince Foster on both of you."
6. Sheniquah liked sitting on Janet Reno's knee better, mainly because of the Parkinson's.
7. "Dear Barry. We have your daughter. If you ever want to see her in one piece again, you'll drop out now. - Hill."
8. "And I am pleased to accept NAWGLA's endorsement... and your 'in-kind donation.'"
9. "This one's just adorable. I think I'll eat her last."
10. "Did you notice a sign outside my house says 'N-gg-r Daycare?' 'Cause it ain't there, 'cause n-gg-r daycare ain't my f--king business, that's why!"
30 comments:
"Lady, I don't like it with your thumb up there."
Did I say "start head?" I meant that I want every child to be in a Head Start Program.
Little kid's thought bubble: "If that wrinkled old beeyotch makes one move with that knife and fork, I'm outta here".
"Save it, Shrillary, my momma's votin' for the Magic Negro, not the Wicked Witch."
Laqueefa started to suspect Shrillary was lying about taking her shopping at Old Navy when she began to dislocate her jaw.
Unable to obtain any high level black endorsements, Ms. Clinton had to settle for 6 year-old Shaquilla Morrison's rousing version of "Baby Got Back."
Thought bubble: "How is a village supposed to raise a child? And how many children does the average village have? And what would the costs be? Cracka please!"
"What you talkin' 'bout, Hilldog?"
"My granddad was a sergeant for two tours in Vietnam, '67 and '68. Um, what exactly was your husband doing those years?"
Which one is the dummy? (hint: the ventriloquist keeps their own mouth closed while the dummy talks)
"Man, wouldja listen to that cackle? And dem fangs! I'm not likin dem fangs one little bit!"
Inter-generational, bi-racial lesbianism...
Next, I explain in graphic detail why I support Obama on a very special Oprah.
"... and I think I'll start with a re-distribution of THIS little asset. Put 'er in my trunk for later, Bill..."
Thought bubble; "I REALLY didn't like the way she say I 'looks good enough to eat.' "
"Yeah, I bet the b!tch stop smilin' when she get a whuff a' that!"
thought bubble
Dis my momma?
thought bubble
"Dis b!tch's teef be off da' chain."
Thought bubble; "Da-amn! That look's like Shamika's hair ribbon stuck in her molars..."
Thought bubble: "SHEESH! You could least-ways say 'Scuze me' lady!"
"Thought bubble: "Daddy says her husband's da 'first black president.' He got's to be wrong - ain't NO black man would bang this biyotch."
"...and since Madonna got away with this kind of pandering, Bill and I have decided to adopt a disposable minority child for the campaign trail, too."
"...she's Bill's daughter, and yes, I've already forgiven him.
(Unless, of course, that attitude doesn't poll well; in which case I have 'tears of outrage' ready to spill over at a moment's notice...)
Thought bubble: "She 'ain't no ways tahred?' Sheeeeeeit!"
“Have you ever tried chocolate pudding on a cracker, Shaqueefa?”
"Ha-ha-ha. Okay, the photo's over. Now get it away from me. I'm not kidding. Get it away from me." (The question is...who is that speaking...)
"...so keep some handy in case life hands you a Purell moment. Or in this case, two."
Cap This! Standard #4:
Where will YOU be when your laxitive kicks in?
WOW!!! That little girl sure does get around. Isn't she the same girl that was throwing those same visceral darts at Bush last week?
♫ Walking like a man, hitting like a hammer
She's a juvenile scam, never was a quitter
Tasty like a raindrop, she's got the look
Heavenly bound cos heaven's got a number
When she's spinning me around, kissing is a colour
Her loving is a wild dog, she's got the look
She's got the look (she's got the look)
She's got the look (she's got the look)
What in the world can make a brown-eyed girl turn blue
When everything I'll ever do I'll do for you
And I go la la la la la
She's got the look ♫
girl thinking; "This is not what i meant when I said I wanted a cracker."
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