Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Maybe it's not twoo



1. Barack's magic trick involved pulling a Chevy Malibu from Oprah's ass. Unfortunately, no one was impressed.

2. "Oh, M'sieur, just one mint? It is wafer thin."

3. "I am the Magic negro of Oprah's ass. Here to grant you five wishes."

4. "Yup. Five times last night. I had her barking like a dog."

5. Gallant offers a high-five to someone off-screen while Goofus tells the audience that rumors about Hillary's clenis have been greatly exaggerated.

Best of Submariner
From the size of that butt-monkey, it would seem that Oprah REALLY ticked off Jim Carey...Laura Ingraham.

Best of Foz
Well... it aint true of all black men honey [wink wink].

Best of Double the U
To the delight of his supporters, Obama gives an abortion on demand at one of his rallies.

Best of champaignken
Where will you be when your laxative kicks in and what will it kick out?

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Behold! The Pimp Hand that can control Oprah!"

Best of Submariner
Oprah wows the campaign crowd by giving away a Magic Negro to every member of the audience.

Best of BUUUUURRRRNING HOT
"Talk to the finger 'cos you ain't worth OPRAH's whole hand."

Best of Rodney Dill
Objects in rear are largermore socialist than they appear.

Best of mklasing
When asked if she supported Obama because he was black, Oprah reminded the audience member that he is "just a little bit black."

Best of lawhawk
Hey, let me show you my O face.

31 comments:

Submariner said...

From the size of that butt-monkey, it would seem that Oprah REALLY ticked off Jim Carey...

Submariner said...

Hey B.O.; how many times didja give the Big O a big O?

Submariner said...

Seriously, girlfriend; only like this...

Foz said...

Well... it aint true of all black men honey [wink wink].

Submariner said...

Nothing up my sleeve; and VOILA
- a Peterbuilt!

Submariner said...

hey, Hey, HEY! B.O. - "the bump" went out of style back in the 70's...

Submariner said...

Whoa - that had better NOT be an idea for another kind of "government handout" B.O.

Double the U said...

To the delight of his supporters, Obama gives an abortion on demand at one of his rallies.

Submariner said...

Hey Rockie - watch me pull an Iowa caucus out of my, er, "hat."

Van Helsing said...

"Feels like it's about this big."

champaignken said...

Where will you be when your laxative kicks in and what will it kick out?

Raise you hand if you think Oprah and Stedman should get married?

Oprah describes the chances that a half-black, half-Muslim man will be elected President of the United States.

Jack Reacher said...

"Other people are waiting, Obama; how much longer?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Behold! The Pimp Hand that can control Oprah!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Oprah, what are Obama's qualifications for holding the most powerful office in the world?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Obama: "O.K. crowd, calm down a second... I wan't you to hear Oprah's fake black accent which is almost as convincing as Hillary's..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Who ordered the dwarf and the vegetable oil?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Anyone want an advanced preview of Thursday's pic?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Indy!... Cover your heart!!!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Is it me, or is "Smack My Bitch Up" inappropriate for a campaign song?

Son Of The Godfather said...

He'd make a heckuva great Darrin Stephens... and would be yet another Dick to take that role.

Submariner said...

Oprah wows the campaign crowd by giving away a Magic Negro to every member of the audience.

Submariner said...

ORA:

If you were thrilled by "The Towering Inferno," if you were terrified by "Earthquake," Then you will be SCARED SHITLESS at the Samuel L. Bronkowitz production of "That's Armageddon!"

Submariner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

Him: "It was this wide."
Her: "It was this long."

Submariner said...

A quick reminder, folks; the Democratic National Convention is sponsored by MoveOn.org. Advertisements are not intended to foster belief, they are merely intended to support people who cannot take responsibility for their own lives.

sonicfrog said...

Wait, I though Oprah had Obama's back...

BUUUUURRRRNING HOT said...

"Talk to the hand."

"Talk to the finger 'cos you ain't worth OPRAH's whole hand."

Rodney Dill said...

Objects in rear are larger than they appear.

mklasing said...

When asked if she supported Obama because he was black, Oprah reminded the audience member that he is "just a little bit black."

Anonymous said...

Barack: Yup, it's this tall.

Oprah: It's really only this tall.

lawhawk said...

Hey, let me show you my O face.


Once again, it's not what you know. It's who you know.