Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Make-Up Works Wonders

The Man


1. His campaign aides had warned him not to look Hillary in the face. He laughed at them. He laughs no more.

2. NBC always chooses lighting doubles that are the polar opposites of the people they stand in for, which is why Phil Spector is standing in for John Edwards.

3. "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought I was standing in for Alabama."

4. "Goodbye. Me am Bizarro World Barack Obama. Me like tax cuts and strong national defense. Me hate socialism. Don't vote for me. Hello."

5. ORA: Nada kicked the crap out of me and made me put on the sunglasses. Finally, I saw the horrible truth of things.
Best of Submariner
whispered voice over; "We've replaced their regular candidate with new Diet Dem D-lite. Let's see if anyone notices..."

Best of duke of red
"Hey DJ, spin that sh!t!"

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Hillary's plan to replace Obama with an exact duplicate had... flaws.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
They say the camera adds 10 pounds... Here's Obama with approximately 15 cameras on him.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz prepares to read his "Ode to Obama - Chapter One of Eighty Three".

Best of Son Of The Godfather
It was relatively easy to trace Obama's complaint that his headpiece smelled of salami and Budweiser.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"I think there may have been a mixup... I'm here representing OBAMO Fireworks... Not sure why they put me up here next to a sissy-man and a screeching hippo..."

Best of curly
Dave: “Barrack said he went on a ride to Marcy Park with Hillary and he’d be right back, but that was several hours ago.”

Best of Capt. Queeg
"Why? Because Burt Reynolds already took Turd Ferguson, Alex."

54 comments:

mklasing said...

It had to happend sooner or later, Ted Kennedy was caught without his Obama mask.

Submariner said...

"Why vote for me?" Cause I'm a man, baby. Yeah!

Submariner said...

Questions? OK, how about you - the Hillary-plant in the second row...

Submariner said...

whispered voice over; "We've replaced their regular candidate with new Diet Dem D-lite. Let's see if anyone notices..."

The Man said...

The long election campaign has worn down the candidates.

The Man said...

Hoping nobody will notice, Obama took some time off to coach football, while Barry Switzer attempted to answer geopolitical questions.

duke of red said...

Wow, Obama has really let himself IMPROVE!

Gotcha. Thought I was gonna say "go", didn't you?

duke of red said...

Since he had the black vote hands down, Obama goes for the white vote.

duke of red said...

"John Edwards taught me how to channel people last night. I'm channeling John Madden."

duke of red said...

"Michael Jackson told me the bleach bath would remove the "Darkness" but he didn't say anything about losing 6 inches and gaining 150 pounds."

duke of red said...

"Hey DJ, spin that sh!t!"

duke of red said...

Obama was good at channeling Larry Csonka. A little too good, in fact.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I sure could go for a piece of Pi..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

OMG, he ATE him!!! Someone get the Ipecac!

Son Of The Godfather said...

Hillary's plan to replace Obama with an exact duplicate had... flaws.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"How do you like me now, Dawn?"

Submariner said...

"Fat Bubba" issues a surprise endorsement.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that’s a storybook, man."

--Joe Biden

Son Of The Godfather said...

Graduate of the Michael Jackson School of Transformation.

Submariner said...

Hillary would never again speak to Sen. Kennedy after his endorsement speech. Said Teddy the Whale; "I'd have done it years ago if, er, ah, I'd have known the up-side..."




Evenin' SOTG.

Submariner said...

Being unable to afford the actual candidates, MSNBC hired stand-ins to play the part. For Ms. Clinton - Bella Abzug...

Son Of The Godfather said...

Ironically, the stand-ins for John and Hillary were, respectively, Gary Coleman and the thing Tetsuo became in Akira.

Hey, Subby!

Son Of The Godfather said...

Go home, Ed Asner, no one wants you here.

Son Of The Godfather said...

MSNBC uses one helluva camera-lens filter.

Submariner said...

"...following the SC Debates, Sen. Obama suffered a 'little accident' but he's recovering just fine and should be out of the hospital a few days after 'Super Tuesday' according to Ms. Clinton's spokeswomyn. Next question?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

They say the camera adds 10 pounds... Here's Obama with approximately 15 cameras on him.

Submariner said...

Considering the quality of the scabs that are crossing the line? Man! I hope the writer's strike ends soon...

Son Of The Godfather said...

Vertical stripes... Slimming!

Submariner said...

Son Of The Godfather said...
They say the camera adds 10 pounds... Here's Obama with approximately 15 cameras on him.
(Nice!)


Not to mention the bleaching effect of the klieg lights...

Son Of The Godfather said...

Not to mention the bleaching effect of the klieg lights...

"THERE... ARE... FOUR... LIGHTS!" :)

Submariner said...

DRUDGEBREAKING:

The Obama camp has submitted a protest to the Senate Ethics Committee claiming that Clinton aids were filming their signals...

Developing...

Son Of The Godfather said...

Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz prepares to read his "Ode to Obama - Chapter One of Eighty Three".

Son Of The Godfather said...

M.S.N.B.C. -
Making
Sure
Negroes
Become
Caucasion

Submariner said...

'Ow to Speak Awstralian:
Sound bite
and steak bite, and mashed potatoes and gravy bite, and desert bite, and another desert bite, and snack bites, and ...

Son Of The Godfather said...

It was relatively easy to trace Obama's complaint that his headpiece smelled of salami and Budweiser.

Submariner said...

My qualifications?
Stampeding cattle (through the Vatican)

Son Of The Godfather said...

"So... uhm... does Obama just come out of your chest like that little dude in Total Recall?..."

Submariner said...
My qualifications?
Stampeding cattle (through the Vatican)


Just watched that last night! (is that gum?!?) lol

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I think there may have been a mixup... I'm here representing OBAMO Fireworks... Not sure why they put me up here next to a sissy-man and a screeching hippo..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"My name is Dave Amabo, and I'm dyslexic..."

Rodney Dill said...

The years have not been good to Ex-President Clinton

curly said...

Bill liked Obama’s idea of using a pinch hitter so much, he hired the man to go home with Hillary.

curly said...

Learning from the mistakes of The First Black President, Obama surrounds himself with interns that lack even one iota of sex appeal.

curly said...

Barrack’s last words before going home early for the night: “Don’t worry about it, Dave. They’re a bunch of liberal Democrats; they’ll never notice.”

curly said...

Dave: “Barrack said he went on a ride to Marcy Park with Hillary and he’d be right back, but that was several hours ago.”

curly said...

Obama Gallant is the opiate of the masses, while Obama Goofus messes up the podium.

curly said...

Obama’s twin in a parallel universe is white, older, and not a communist.

curly said...

“The Word Verification Generator said that I was the real Obama.”

Army of Mom said...

Would you like fries with that?

Army of Mom said...

The "coffee" is in place, Bill. What? Next lecturn? Ohhhh. I get it. *wink*

Swear to God, word verification:
lieaax

Army of Mom said...

It may take a village to raise a child, but it takes a gawddamned McDonald's to feed this fat bastard.

Submariner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Submariner said...

"... and I'd like to personally thank Barak hisself. I've coached defense my entire adult life and to get the opportunity to be the coordinator for a major campaign? Well, golly-gee..."

Capt. Queeg said...

"Why? Because Burt Reynolds already took Turd Ferguson, Alex."

Chrees said...

The "NASCAR translator" for Obama: "Hell yeah we can. Now get me a beer, bitch."