1. "Now THAT'S a queef!"
2. INVISIBLE BROOMSTIK
3. "When I get home, that boy of mine better not have his pansy a$ in my pink stockings and garter again."
4. "A long stride will quickly put many kilometers between you and those beastly security people at Old Navy." --- Excerpt and Illustration from Dawn's Guide to Celebrating a Pistons Championship.
5. A scientific miracle occurs when Gina's yeast infection achieves cold fusion.
Best of attmay
"I don't know why I still do this," she thought to herself. "My mother died fifteen years ago, so whether or not I step on a crack is a moot point."
Best of Van Helsing
The Ministry of Silly Walks — Airborne Division
Best of The Man
It was very uncomfortable to walk the next day. Damn, that was the last time she turned a trick with Huckabee.
Best of Gagdad Bob
The answer to the question, "Who could give a flying f*ck?"
Best of Targetpractice
Lightspeed Boots: For when you've got to get to that shoe sale first.
Best of Cybrludite
"Finally!", thought Aquaman, "A superhero with powers more useless than mine!" His joy was short-lived as she proceeded to skewer the Joker through the eye-socket with her boot-heel.
Best of prince of leaves
On the next episode of "Heroes": in Oslo, Inga Johansson inadvertently discovers her utterly useless superpower, the ability to long-jump twenty meters at a time while putting on mascara. Sylar for once passes on eating a brain.
Best of Jack Reacher
"When John Edwards is president, levitating blondes will put their feet on the pavement and WALK!"
Best of Submariner
The Brooklyn All-Girl Quidditch Team had a somewhat unorthodox practice strategy for keeping the Seeker's eye on the Snitch...
Best of curly
“Damn amateur”, grunted Maria Verona Garcia Fernandez, longtime border jumper.