Friday, January 18, 2008

Chels, I Am Your Father

Timmah!

1. Most attendees at the Pahrump Nevada SciFiGateCon thought Hillary's vow to "build a gigantic death star to strike down my Republican enemies" was just more pandering. Oh, how wrong they were.

2. Monica to Bill: "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."

3. Realizing that surrounding herself with James Carville, Sid Blumenthal, and Madeleine Albright made her campaign look like the cantina scene from Episode 4, Hillary just went all-in.

4. In the back of her head, Hilldog wondered, "Is this really worth it just to get Kucinich on my ticket?"

5. "Your Magic Negro is no match for the power of Dark Side!"

Best of Van Helsing
"…and when I'm elected, I'll use the giant 'laser' on the 'Death Star' to blow up all the red states!"

Best of Kaptain
"Ah-hah! Simon didn't say 'Simon says vote for Obama!' All of you guys are out!"

Best of nutz4Tuna
Hillary Clinton reacts to seeing an old friend on the Death Star.

Best of curly
“What is thy bidding, Lord Soros?”

Best of Submariner
Prepair campaign for Ludicrous speed. Fasten all contribution containers. Seal all entrance and exit polls. Lock all Congressmen on the Mall. Cancel the Senate circus. Secure all right-wing talk show conspirators in the zoo...

Best of GregMan
"I've had more women than all of you sci-fi geeks put together! Nyah nyah nyah!!!"

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"That Obama-Obama-Binks really pushes my buttons!"

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Bill to Monica: "You’re all clear, kid! Now let’s blow this thing and go home!"

Best of Targetpractice
Well, that explains why the last words ever spoken to Vince Foster by Hillary were "I find your lack of faith disturbing."

Best of Jack Reacher
Well, I guess I haven't seen her and Bob Novak in the same place at the same time, now that I think about it...

Best of attmay
Hooooo-WEEEE! You don't wanna be wearing this thing when you're basted in patchouli oil.


49 comments:

Van Helsing said...

"…and when I'm elected, I'll use the giant laser on the Death Star to blow up all the red states!"

Kaptain said...

"Ah-hah! Simon didn't say 'Simon says vote for Obama!' All of you guys are out!"

nutz4Tuna said...

Hillary Clinton reacts to seeing an old friend on the Death Star.

curly said...

Juanita Broaddrick 's rapist's wife for President!

curly said...

“You wanted to see me, Lord Soros?”

curly said...

“Now I’m darker than Obama!”

Submariner said...

Obama; I see your Schwartz is as big as mine...

Submariner said...

I bet THAT intern gives great helmet!

Submariner said...

Now.Hear.This:
Prepair campaign for Ludicrous speed. Fasten all contribution containers. Seal all entrance and exit polls. Lock all Congressmen on the Mall. Cancel the Senate circus. Secure all right-wing talk show conspirators in the zoo...

Submariner said...

The farce is strong within you, young Obama, but you are not a Jihadi yet.

Submariner said...

I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further.

curly said...

Hill’s Star Wars publicity shot with Ted Kennedy: “Vader and the Wader”.

curly said...

“The only time Bill will toss me the bone is when I completely cover my head with a pillow, a flag or a helmit.”

curly said...

Q. What’s black and white and red all over?
A. The communist Hillary Clinton in a Darth Vader costume.

GregMan said...

Shrillary reacts upon seeing the previous post.

GregMan said...

"I've had more women than all of you sci-fi geeks put together! Nyah nyah nyah!!!"

GregMan said...

Standard Caption #2,886:

"Ia! Cthulhu ftahgn!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Darth Clinton would forever regret her association with Bubba Fett.

2. Monica to Bill: "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."

Instant.Classic... Excellent!

Son Of The Godfather said...

"That Obama-Obama-Binks really pushes my buttons!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"We're taking over all of Tatooine's health care. Those loyal to the Empire will get 'preferred status'... and you know what I'm talkin' bout!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Let me get this straight... Our elite troops on Endor have been bested by a band of teddy bears?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I got it from Rove's closet!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

So all that breathing noise was hot air escaping?

Son Of The Godfather said...

The costume didn't come with a "poopy flap", but Hillary would be o.k., as she had the ability to spew crap from her mouth.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"And they said the surge on Hoth wouldn't work!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Bill on the honeymoon:
"This is Red 5, I’m going in."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Bill to Monica:
"You’re all clear, kid! Now let’s blow this thing and go home!"

Whoopsie Daisey said...

I'm playing the part of a Dem and rewriting the scripted history;

"You’re all clear, kid! Now blow this thing and let’s go home!"

duke of red said...

VtheK Standard Caption # 1,283:

Wow, Darth Vader has really let himself go.

Targetpractice said...

George Lucas originally had a totally different surprise twist in store for The Empire Strikes Back, but the Fox execs felt it would make the final product too scary for kids and asked that Vader instead be revealed as Luke's father.

Targetpractice said...

Well, that explains why the last words ever spoken to Vince Foster by Hillary were "I find your lack of faith disturbing."

Jack Reacher said...

Well, I guess I haven't seen her and Bob Novak in the same place at the same time, now that I think about it...

Targetpractice said...

Old and Busted: 'Suicide' by multiple gunshots to the head.

New Hotness: 'Suicide' by force-choke

Jack Reacher said...

"Hi! I'm here to take things from you for the common good! Now turn around."

Jack Reacher said...

In D.C. stores, this particular costume is name "Special Prosecutor for Eternity."

Chrees said...

ORA: "And Jedi's the most insulting installment! Because Vader's beautiful black visage is sullied when he pulls off his mask to reveal a feeble, crusty, old white man! They tryin' to tell us that deep inside we all wants to be white!"

attmay said...

Hooooo-WEEEE! You don't wanna be wearing this thing when you're basted in patchouli oil.

Chrees said...

"If God is dead, everything is permitted. Bi--yotch."

prince of leaves said...

I've got a bad feeling about this...

prince of leaves said...

Darth Mater.

Rodney Dill said...

The Farce is strong with this one

Rodney Dill said...

Jabber the grut

Rodney Dill said...

Hilldog's campaign finally jumped the quark.

curly said...

Darth Hildabeast is delighted to see what’s on the dinner menu: Uhura’s head.

Rodney Dill said...

"Yes, I would like to see the rings around Uranus."

Submariner said...

Just preppin to go through the Cynthia McKinnie checkpoint. Word. And you know what I'm talkin' about, brother.

Rodney Dill said...

Hyperspaced

Rodney Dill said...

Humor... Ar Ar!

Rodney Dill said...

"I'm Dork from Pork."