Monday, January 14, 2008

All Horrowshow Like

Jack Reacher

1. "Got your nose, America! And if you want it back, you'll shut up and do as you're told!"

2. Things That Smell Like Huma Abedin, one in a series of ten.

3. A moment later, Hillary turned down her thumb, and Keith Olbermann rammed his gladius through Tim Russert's skull for the Glory of Rome and the Empress.

4. "Is it Thursday? F--kin' A!"

5. Some people enjoy it more than others when their laxative kicks in.

Best of curly
The Hildabeast endorses the SilktPony’s new line of hair care products for women on the go.

Best of Silhouette
And as the Soviet flag slowly lowered behind newly elected Clinton, she taunted, "Gotcha now, bitches!"

Best of Silhouette
After failing the JCPenney audition, Hillary tries for a gig on a Mentos commercial.

Best of Targetpractice
Socialism: Fuck Ya!

Best of prince of leaves
Seeing a well-dressed Chinese man in the audience, Hillary reflexively pantomimes the signal to "bring the money bag to the green room".

Best of Jack Reacher
Hillary signaled approval of the crowd's screams, unaware that a giant Tylenol capsule was rolling inexorably toward her.

Best of trigger girlie
Hillary is using a mute button on her imaginary remote to turn off the booing crowd

Best of Army of Mom
Hillary's botox worked so well, she had to come up with excited hand gestures to match her facial expression.

Best of sonicfrog
Spoiler Allert!!! The monster from "Cloverfield" revealed!!!

Best of Submariner
"Snuke in the snitch? F--kin' A!"



36 comments:

curly said...

Playing Charades with Hill always comes down to pantomiming ‘flick yer Bic’ and ‘burn the flag’.

curly said...

“…and as President, I will uphold everyone’s second amendment rights to carry a pretend pistol.”

curly said...

The Hildabeast endorses the SilktPony’s new line of hair care products for women on the go.

CJ said...

Hillary alerts her security detail to summon Bill by smiling and miming a handjob.

Van Helsing said...

In an alternate reality, Shrillary learns of the Surge's failure in Iraq.

Silhouette said...

And as the Soviet flag slowly lowered behind newly elected Clinton, she taunted, "Gotcha now!"

Silhouette said...

After failing the JCPenney audition, Hillary tries for a gig on a Mentos commercial.

duke of red said...

Hungry Huma hastily hummered Hillary's hymen.

"I'm Hillary Clinton, and I approved this tounge-twister."

Targetpractice said...

Socialism: Fuck Ya!

Targetpractice said...

With just my thumb, I can tax your ass into oblivion, reduce America's healthcare infrastructure to third-world status, and surrender to the Islamonazis.

Now, imagine what I could do with the other nine.

Targetpractice said...

January 4th:

"She's been stuck like that since we broke the news that she placed third against Obama and Edwards. We've been using her as a coatrack ever since."

Rodney Dill said...

Things were looking up for Hillary until she made a botoctical error.

prince of leaves said...

"Scorched earth! Aaaaaahahahahahahahahahahhhh!!!!" After her loss of the nomination to Obama, Hillary surprises the Democrat convention and the world by triggering the forgotten Cold War-era doomsday weapon buried deep beneath the Yellowstone caldera.

prince of leaves said...

Inauguration Night, 2009: newly crowned God-Empress Hillary signals the start of the horrifying bloodbath known to historians as the Great Penis Purge.

prince of leaves said...

Seeing a well-dressed Chinese man in the audience, Hillary reflexively pantomimes the signal to "bring the money bag to the green room".

Jack Reacher said...

"Even my thumb is bigger than Obama's!"

Jack Reacher said...

Hillary signaled approval of the crowd's screams, unaware that a giant Tylenol capsule was rolling inexorably toward her.

Jack Reacher said...

As their eyes met across the room, Hillary gave a thumbs-up, and Rosie said "Sh** yeah, I'd tap that."

WV: mnnkf, the sound of me throwing up a little in my mouth.

trigger girlie said...

Hillary is using a mute button on her imaginary remote to turn off the booing crowd

trigger girlie said...

Where will YOU be when the laxatives kick in?

Submariner said...

"How'd I make it through the night in Iowa?"
Oops I Crapped My Pants Brand™! (On sale at better retail outlets and pharmacies nationwide.)
I'm Shrillary Kkklinton and I approved of this message.

Army of Mom said...

Reaching out to the younger voters, Hillary demonstrates her mad skills on the Wii.

Army of Mom said...

Thought cloud:
Bill had a dumb grin combined with a thumb gesture that seemed to work for him. Wonder if I can go one up on him?

*crickets chirping*

Hmmmm. Doesn't seem to be working.

Army of Mom said...

Hillary's botox worked so well, she had to come up with excited hand gestures to match her facial expression.

Army of Mom said...

To pass the time between debates, Hillary challenged Obama to a thumb war.

Army of Mom said...

Hillary gets really animated while reading to school children about Little Jack Horner.

Army of Mom said...

Hillary demonstrates her clitoral massage method to a potential intern.

Army of Mom said...

Hillary unveils her new campaign song: The Rolling Stones' "Under my Thumb"

Submariner said...

Off-frame, left; "GAIA! Who dropped that queef?"

sonicfrog said...

Spoiler Allert!!! The monster from "Cloverfield" revealed!!!

Submariner said...

"Snuke in the snitch? F--kin' A!"

Submariner said...

"Hey Hill; whadya think of the Madonna - Britney soul kiss?"

Submariner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Submariner said...

Still tryin' to work that JC Penney's catalogue modeling career gig in case the primaries don't work out, eh Hill?

Submariner said...

...so that's when I said "Have a cigar, Monica?"

duke of red said...

"GOTCHA!!" Hillary would never let VtheK live down the day he posted her picture on a freakin Thursday.