Thursday, December 06, 2007

Whores and Their Ikea Furniture


1. "So, why don't you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops-up."

2. Actually, the only way you can tell she's Santa Claus's daughter are the constant invitations for bad boys to sit on her lap.

3. SOTG's prom date frantically tucks, so as to save the "surprise" for later.

4. "This chair used to be white. My menstrual flow is unbelievable."

5. Shunned by society, Debra LaFave spends her days watching Star Wars Episode I and masturbating to the pod-racer sequence.

29 comments:

Army of Dad said...

(Army of) Daddy spank?

sonicfrog said...

The shirt, clothes and shoes say "Big Easy", the body language, well... not so much.

Paul said...

Realizing another dream he's had since kindergarten, BO does an audition tape for White Chicks II.

dj said...

I love doughy thighs and pizza pies!

curly said...

Next on ThisOldHouse: Norm negotiates lowering the bill for installing wood laminate flooring in Miss Anytime’s living room.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Re: V's #3...

F*ck, I'm sorry I even posted that story on my MySpace page. ;)

curly said...

♫ On the first day of Kwanza, my pimp gave to me:
A blonde in a red chair,
Scantily dressed,
On a shiny Pergo floor,
No questions asked,
All for one hundred fifty. ♪

Army of Mom said...

Tiffany's strip career suffered until she lost the training chair and learned to walk in the shoes. Pigeon toes and all.

Army of Mom said...

Sometimes when I get nervous, I put my hands between my legs and smell them like this *sniffing*

Army of Mom said...

I'm ready for my close up, Mrs. Clinton.

Army of Mom said...

Merry Christmas, Army of Dad. You're very own Candy Cane.

prince of leaves said...

How nature says "Don't touch without surgical gloves".

prince of leaves said...

"Hey, Jimmy -- check out this picture on Mom's MySpace page!"

prince of leaves said...

"Hey, Mom, check out this picture of Dad on his MySpace page!"

prince of leaves said...

"I don't care -- he said I look sexy like this, and Daddy's got good taste!"

curly said...

"I've been a naughty, naughty girl, Santa."

Rodney Dill said...

The Saint's cheerleaders never learned the appropriate attire for a December game at Lambeau.

Submariner said...

♪Oh when the Saints,
Cum marchin' in...♪
I'd like Drew Brees first...

lawhawk said...

You'd have that look on your face too because this is the new OOOlong chair by Ikea.

Submariner said...

Decorating? Welllll, it's like this;
I'm on my minimalist period...

Anonymous said...

John Santos can't wait for the shirtless appearance of Bryan Batt on 'Mad Men.'

Anonymous said...

So, is that Mary-Kate or Ashley?

Submariner said...

I'm not so sure about putting on a "mud suit," Miss M...

Whacko said...

The correct feng shui approach should have the corner curio cabinet on the right side of the sliding glass door.

Steve O said...

I know what you're all thinking...

The outlet have those childproof plugs? Yeah, it's the first thing I noticed too.

Steve O said...

I know what you're all thinking...

The outlet has those childproof plugs. Yeah, that's the first thing I noticed too.

Steve O said...

Okay, so my NEW girlfriend is a Saints fan, but like them really, really, really dumb.

Steve O said...

What's that little girl...? Somebody stole your sign to take it to a political rally?

There, there now. Daddy will make it all better...

Andrew Sullivan said...

That red chair is so hot - I must have it.