1. "So, why don't you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops-up."
2. Actually, the only way you can tell she's Santa Claus's daughter are the constant invitations for bad boys to sit on her lap.
3. SOTG's prom date frantically tucks, so as to save the "surprise" for later.
4. "This chair used to be white. My menstrual flow is unbelievable."
5. Shunned by society, Debra LaFave spends her days watching Star Wars Episode I and masturbating to the pod-racer sequence.
29 comments:
(Army of) Daddy spank?
The shirt, clothes and shoes say "Big Easy", the body language, well... not so much.
Realizing another dream he's had since kindergarten, BO does an audition tape for White Chicks II.
I love doughy thighs and pizza pies!
Next on ThisOldHouse: Norm negotiates lowering the bill for installing wood laminate flooring in Miss Anytime’s living room.
Re: V's #3...
F*ck, I'm sorry I even posted that story on my MySpace page. ;)
♫ On the first day of Kwanza, my pimp gave to me:
A blonde in a red chair,
Scantily dressed,
On a shiny Pergo floor,
No questions asked,
All for one hundred fifty. ♪
Tiffany's strip career suffered until she lost the training chair and learned to walk in the shoes. Pigeon toes and all.
Sometimes when I get nervous, I put my hands between my legs and smell them like this *sniffing*
I'm ready for my close up, Mrs. Clinton.
Merry Christmas, Army of Dad. You're very own Candy Cane.
How nature says "Don't touch without surgical gloves".
"Hey, Jimmy -- check out this picture on Mom's MySpace page!"
"Hey, Mom, check out this picture of Dad on his MySpace page!"
"I don't care -- he said I look sexy like this, and Daddy's got good taste!"
"I've been a naughty, naughty girl, Santa."
The Saint's cheerleaders never learned the appropriate attire for a December game at Lambeau.
♪Oh when the Saints,
Cum marchin' in...♪
I'd like Drew Brees first...
You'd have that look on your face too because this is the new OOOlong chair by Ikea.
Decorating? Welllll, it's like this;
I'm on my minimalist period...
John Santos can't wait for the shirtless appearance of Bryan Batt on 'Mad Men.'
So, is that Mary-Kate or Ashley?
I'm not so sure about putting on a "mud suit," Miss M...
The correct feng shui approach should have the corner curio cabinet on the right side of the sliding glass door.
I know what you're all thinking...
The outlet have those childproof plugs? Yeah, it's the first thing I noticed too.
I know what you're all thinking...
The outlet has those childproof plugs. Yeah, that's the first thing I noticed too.
Okay, so my NEW girlfriend is a Saints fan, but like them really, really, really dumb.
What's that little girl...? Somebody stole your sign to take it to a political rally?
There, there now. Daddy will make it all better...
That red chair is so hot - I must have it.
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