Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Ripped from the Headlines: Fire in Dick Cheney's Office

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A fire broke out near Vice President Dick Cheney's ceremonial office in a building overlooking the White House on Wednesday, forcing hundreds of government staffers to evacuate


1. Shortly before the smoke began billowing out, witnesses heard the Vice President shouting, "Ia! Ia! Cthulhu ftaghn!"

2. "OK, are those *all* the CIA interrogation tapes? Are you sure?"

3. Cokie Roberts, her hair mussed, make-up smeared, and missing her panties, hurries out the side exit before any firemen or reporters arrive.

4. "Crap! The smoke bombs weren't supposed to detonate until after the plane hit. You guys are the worst false-flag conspirators ever!"

5. "All right, who let Hillary touch a Bible?"
Best of Jack Reacher
I see the California delegation is back in town.

Best of The Man
The Ron Paul Blimp made one last flight today.

Best of curly
Jan. 2008: Fire breaks out at the ceremonial office of Vice President John Edwards, after he and President Rodham's ritual burning of the amerikkkan flag and the constitution gets out of hand.

Best of Submariner
It appears that Hillary was visiting and the Veep "inadvertently" left the drapes open at sunrise...

Best of Shayne
"Yep, Bill was here lighting up his farts again!"

Best of divine miss m
The heart condition prevents Dick Cheney from learning to do NASCAR victory doughnuts at the actual track.

Best of Silhouette
"...and years later in 2007, Willie Nelson again visited with a member of the executive branch."

Best of Submariner
In the Taratino remake of "Fun With Dick and Jane," Mr. Cheney burns Ms. Fonda at the stake for heresies against the U.S. of A.

Best of sonicfrog
Cheney: "Hey, I know, lets start a war with Iran".

Addleson: "Dude, you are SOOOOO stoneed"!


27 comments:

Jack Reacher said...

Some government offices learn the hard way that you just can't spend too much on a heavy-duty shredder.

Jack Reacher said...

I see the California delegation is back in town.

The Man said...

The Ron Paul Blimp made one last flight today.

Van Helsing said...

The wanton release of greenhouse gas emissions from the burning toast forced authorities to call in an air strike.

curly said...

Dick Cheney celebrates the holiday season by throwing a terrorist's chestnuts on an open fire.

divine miss m said...

English cooking strikes again.

curly said...

Jan. 2008: Fire breaks out at the ceremonial office of Vice President John Edwards, after he and President Rodham's ritual burning of the amerikkkan flag and the constitution gets out of hand.

Friend of USA said...

As Mr Cheney re enacts the duck hunting incident for his guests , he inadvertently pulls the trigger...

Submariner said...

It appears that Hillary was visiting and the Veep "inadvertently" left the drapes open at sunrise...

Submariner said...

Suddenly there was a knock on the door.
"I want my 2 dollar carbon offset!" exclaimed the Goreacle...

Shayne said...

"Yep, Bill was here lighting up his farts again!"

Rodney Dill said...

Jees, I wish Dick and Lynne would use some lubrication.

divine miss m said...

The heart condition prevents Dick Cheney from learning to do NASCAR victory doughnuts at the actual track.

Silhouette said...

"...and years later in 2007, Willie Nelson again visited with a member of the executive branch."

Silhouette said...

"Adrienne Barbeau to see you, Mr. Vice President."

Tim said...

Security guard, " Hmm it must be baked beans day at the cafeteria again."

Submariner said...

Thought bubble; "That's strange... Every time I hear a cougar wailing, there's smoke pouring out of the Veep's office..."

Submariner said...

"Sarge, shouldn't it be dark when they 'burn the midnight oil' at the Veep's office?"

Submariner said...

In the Taratino remake of "Fun With Dick and Jane," Mr. Cheney burns Ms. Fonda at the stake for heresies against the U.S. of A.

Submariner said...

Looks like Mary just told Dick and Lynn about her new "friend," the Hilldawg...

Double the U said...

The gov! The gov! the gov is on fire, we don't give a **** let the mother-****er burn, burn mother-****er burn.

prince of leaves said...

"Bwahahahahhh!" cackled Cheney, wreathed in clouds of sulfrous fumes. "And Chavez thought that smell came from Bush!"

Submariner said...

Cheech and Chong give a command performance at the Ford Theatre.

attmay said...

"Here's a neat trick Nancy Pelosi showed us. Where's the zippo?"

Rodney Dill said...

THANK YOU FOR POT SMOKING

Submariner said...

"...and disconnecting smoke detectors in the lavatory is a federal offense. Now we invite you to sit back and enjoy the flight."

sonicfrog said...

Cheney: "Hey, I know, lets start a war with Iran".

Addleson: "Dude, you are SOOOOO stoneed"!