Thursday, December 27, 2007

A Little Late, But Why Not


1. "... And it's... $150,000 from the Chung family. Thank you, Norman."

2. "Why, it's a book, How to Get Rid of a Pesky Negro, thank you, Senator Byrd, I can totally use this!"

3. Stupid Huckabee. If it weren't for his damned floating cross commercial, I could spend this holiday doing pudding shots with Huma and the rest of the lesbian coven.

4. "Thanks, Dawn, but I don't think it's in my size. Do you have a receipt so I can exchange it? You don't? Well, what's Old Navy's policy on gift returns?"

5. "It's a Streisand CD and a Breck Shampoo gift set. How the Hell did I get stuck with John Edwards as my secret Santa?"

Very Very Very Best of Van Helsing
"Now where did I put Higher Taxes? Oh, there it is, under Surrender to Al Qaeda."

Best of Jack Reacher
Stolen White House property; the gift that keeps on giving.

Best of Rodney Dill
"Oh look at the wonderful presents you've bought for yourselves and others."

Best of Rodney Dill
General Hsu's Chicken

Best of Submariner
...and for those of you that did not put a present for me on the pile? Just two words - "Vince Foster."

Best of Submariner
Thank you, Ellen. It's really a nice one; but what in the name of Gaia makes you think I NEED a strap-on?

Best of GregMan
"I MUST stop Christmas from coming, but how?"

Best of GregMan
"Ennui, when will you release your hold on me?"

Best of GregMan
"Darn it, I knew I shouldn't have drank the blood of that last virgin. I feel so full now."

Best of prince of leaves
"A ThighMaster and a mahogany humidor? Real funny, Bill, real funny..."

Best of prince of leaves
"Oh cool, just what I wanted: a copy of 'The Dangerous Book for Sociopathic Lesbian Megalomaniacs'!"

Best of Rodney Dill
"No Bill I don't want to open your d*ck in a box... (under breath) unless the box isn't physically attached to you."


32 comments:

duke of red said...

Wow, Thursdays have really gone to sc4!t around here....

duke of red said...

"Is Hell froze over? Well, it must be... I see Hilldawg's face on a Thursday!"

Submariner said...

"...그러니 계속 이러한 캠페인에 기여 온다. * I'm the Hilldawg and I approved this message."


*"...so keep on sending in those campaign contributions."

Jack Reacher said...

Why the long face, Hil? Oh, "Batteries not included," you say?
Bummer.

Jack Reacher said...

"Okay, who's the wise-ass who wrapped up Rose Law Firm records?"

Jack Reacher said...

Stolen White House property; the gift that keeps on giving.

curly said...

Man, Thursday has really let itself go.

Rodney Dill said...

"Oh look at the wonderful presents you've bought for yourselves and others."

Rodney Dill said...

General Hsu's Chicken

duke of red said...

"Oh look at the wonderful presents you've bought for yourselves and others."

Zing!!

divine miss m said...

"And the winner of this year's Golden Straw Award, for her ability to suck the fun out of absolutely any occasion is...."

sonicfrog said...

Hillary as a gift??? Man! Someone must have been very, VERY bad this year!!!! Son of Godfather? Rodney? Divine Miss? Submariner???

Submariner said...

SF;
I've been bad, but not THAT bad. I feel sorry for the rest of you - once she becomes empress, at least I can escape below the waves, for a while, a very lo-o-o-ong while, probably...

Submariner said...

...and for those of you that did not put a present for me on the pile? Just two words - "Vince Foster."

Submariner said...

For the "Cap This!" crowd, know this. V. the K. thought he could hide from me in a mall in a Santa Suit. My troopers, er, supporters found him. They'll find each of you, too...

Submariner said...

Thank you, Ellen. It's really a nice one; but what in the name of Gaia makes you think I NEED a strap-on?

Submariner said...

Would it be inapropriate to suggest re-gifting her to Korea?

Rodney Dill said...

"...use my own money to save America? You must be nucking futs."

Van Helsing said...

"Now where did I put Higher Taxes? Oh, there it is, under Surrender to Al Qaeda."

GregMan said...

"I don't understand. I'm sure I did the incantation right to raise Great Cthulhu. Why hasn't the Earth been scoured yet?"

GregMan said...

*Sigh*, another year where I have to waste my time with this "Birth of Christ" nonsense. I can't wait until I'm President-For-Life and I can stop this Christmas nonsense once and for all."

GregMan said...

...and, continuing with the theme from the above post...

"I MUST stop Christmas from coming, but how?"

GregMan said...

"What do you mean, the Grinch is coming here with a knife to "carve the roast Hilldabeast?"

GregMan said...

Can't let this picture go without this classic...

"Ennui, when will you release your hold on me?"

GregMan said...

"Darn it, I knew I shouldn't have drank the blood of that last virgin. I feel so full now."

prince of leaves said...

"No, I'm not really Santa Claus, but I play one in the Senate."

prince of leaves said...

"And how, you ask, will we pay for all these wonderful gifts I want to graciously bestow upon you citizens? Well, the same way you pay for all that Christmas crap you buy at WalMart -- credit cards!"

prince of leaves said...

No, really...you shouldn't have. Can we return it for in-store credit? Or do we have to drop it off at the Salvation Army after-hours donation box?

prince of leaves said...

"A ThighMaster and a mahogany humidor? Real funny, Bill, real funny..."

prince of leaves said...

"Oh cool, just what I wanted: a copy of 'The Dangerous Book for Sociopathic Lesbian Megalomaniacs'!"

Submariner said...

I'm feeling a little run-down, Bubba. How about ordering me a red-headed Candy Striper with a bag full of poppers. A hot blonde nurse with a massive B-12 shot? I guess that will have to do...

Rodney Dill said...

"No Bill I don't want to open your d*ck in a box... (under breath) unless the box isn't physically attached to you."