1. "... And it's... $150,000 from the Chung family. Thank you, Norman."
2. "Why, it's a book, How to Get Rid of a Pesky Negro, thank you, Senator Byrd, I can totally use this!"
3. Stupid Huckabee. If it weren't for his damned floating cross commercial, I could spend this holiday doing pudding shots with Huma and the rest of the lesbian coven.
4. "Thanks, Dawn, but I don't think it's in my size. Do you have a receipt so I can exchange it? You don't? Well, what's Old Navy's policy on gift returns?"
5. "It's a Streisand CD and a Breck Shampoo gift set. How the Hell did I get stuck with John Edwards as my secret Santa?"
Very Very Very Best of Van Helsing
"Now where did I put Higher Taxes? Oh, there it is, under Surrender to Al Qaeda."
Best of Jack Reacher
Stolen White House property; the gift that keeps on giving.
Best of Rodney Dill
"Oh look at the wonderful presents you've bought for yourselves and others."
Best of Rodney Dill
General Hsu's Chicken
Best of Submariner
...and for those of you that did not put a present for me on the pile? Just two words - "Vince Foster."
Best of Submariner
Thank you, Ellen. It's really a nice one; but what in the name of Gaia makes you think I NEED a strap-on?
Best of GregMan
"I MUST stop Christmas from coming, but how?"
Best of GregMan
"Ennui, when will you release your hold on me?"
Best of GregMan
"Darn it, I knew I shouldn't have drank the blood of that last virgin. I feel so full now."
Best of prince of leaves
"A ThighMaster and a mahogany humidor? Real funny, Bill, real funny..."
Best of prince of leaves
"Oh cool, just what I wanted: a copy of 'The Dangerous Book for Sociopathic Lesbian Megalomaniacs'!"
Best of Rodney Dill
"No Bill I don't want to open your d*ck in a box... (under breath) unless the box isn't physically attached to you."
32 comments:
Wow, Thursdays have really gone to sc4!t around here....
"Is Hell froze over? Well, it must be... I see Hilldawg's face on a Thursday!"
"...그러니 계속 이러한 캠페인에 기여 온다. * I'm the Hilldawg and I approved this message."
*"...so keep on sending in those campaign contributions."
Why the long face, Hil? Oh, "Batteries not included," you say?
Bummer.
"Okay, who's the wise-ass who wrapped up Rose Law Firm records?"
Stolen White House property; the gift that keeps on giving.
Man, Thursday has really let itself go.
"Oh look at the wonderful presents you've bought for yourselves and others."
General Hsu's Chicken
"Oh look at the wonderful presents you've bought for yourselves and others."
Zing!!
"And the winner of this year's Golden Straw Award, for her ability to suck the fun out of absolutely any occasion is...."
Hillary as a gift??? Man! Someone must have been very, VERY bad this year!!!! Son of Godfather? Rodney? Divine Miss? Submariner???
SF;
I've been bad, but not THAT bad. I feel sorry for the rest of you - once she becomes empress, at least I can escape below the waves, for a while, a very lo-o-o-ong while, probably...
...and for those of you that did not put a present for me on the pile? Just two words - "Vince Foster."
For the "Cap This!" crowd, know this. V. the K. thought he could hide from me in a mall in a Santa Suit. My troopers, er, supporters found him. They'll find each of you, too...
Thank you, Ellen. It's really a nice one; but what in the name of Gaia makes you think I NEED a strap-on?
Would it be inapropriate to suggest re-gifting her to Korea?
"...use my own money to save America? You must be nucking futs."
"Now where did I put Higher Taxes? Oh, there it is, under Surrender to Al Qaeda."
"I don't understand. I'm sure I did the incantation right to raise Great Cthulhu. Why hasn't the Earth been scoured yet?"
*Sigh*, another year where I have to waste my time with this "Birth of Christ" nonsense. I can't wait until I'm President-For-Life and I can stop this Christmas nonsense once and for all."
...and, continuing with the theme from the above post...
"I MUST stop Christmas from coming, but how?"
"What do you mean, the Grinch is coming here with a knife to "carve the roast Hilldabeast?"
Can't let this picture go without this classic...
"Ennui, when will you release your hold on me?"
"Darn it, I knew I shouldn't have drank the blood of that last virgin. I feel so full now."
"No, I'm not really Santa Claus, but I play one in the Senate."
"And how, you ask, will we pay for all these wonderful gifts I want to graciously bestow upon you citizens? Well, the same way you pay for all that Christmas crap you buy at WalMart -- credit cards!"
No, really...you shouldn't have. Can we return it for in-store credit? Or do we have to drop it off at the Salvation Army after-hours donation box?
"A ThighMaster and a mahogany humidor? Real funny, Bill, real funny..."
"Oh cool, just what I wanted: a copy of 'The Dangerous Book for Sociopathic Lesbian Megalomaniacs'!"
I'm feeling a little run-down, Bubba. How about ordering me a red-headed Candy Striper with a bag full of poppers. A hot blonde nurse with a massive B-12 shot? I guess that will have to do...
"No Bill I don't want to open your d*ck in a box... (under breath) unless the box isn't physically attached to you."
Post a Comment