Saturday, December 22, 2007

Lead Coated Chinese Crap Distribution

Americana

1. "I didn't even know they made anatomically correct Michael Moore dolls."

2. "If I stuff this in my coat, maybe I'll get a nice strip search from that rough Sheriff's deputy."

3. "If I buy enough toys, will the clerk not notice the love oil and nipple clamps. Or, will it just make me look like even worse of a pervert?"

4. "And the children back at the coven will love these Saturnalia gifts. Of course, then, they'll be sacrificed to the Moon Goddess, but at least their final hours will be happy."

5. Arlene's thighs quivered at her memory of the Hickory Farms Sausage log assortment she got last Christmas.

9 comments:

prince of leaves said...

"Jimmy is always so easy to buy for. Why, every year, he's perfectly happy with a new Life-Size Barbie. Which is a little weird, now that I think about it, but a mommy shouldn't judge her adult children's life choices..."

Rodney Dill said...

Oooo Condom stickers!

lawhawk said...

Canola oil, corn syrup, lead, arsenic. Yup, made in China alright.

Jack Reacher said...

"It's a Congress doll. It says here it blocks whatever actions your other dolls try to take..."

Jack Reacher said...

The Staci Peterson doll wasn't very popular, in that the instructions told parents to hide it well, and never tell the children where it is.

Jack Reacher said...

"Hmm, this Chinese DVD copying software is in amongst the pirate gifts..."

Double the U said...

Made In China.
Ages 5 and above, small parts may not be suitable for infants or children.
Use with parental supervision.
Throw toy away, play with plastic bag, it is safer.

curly said...

“Clitorectomy Barbie and Infidel Ken with removable decapitated heads!”

Submariner said...

Curly said...
“Clitorectomy Barbie and Infidel Ken with removable decapitated heads!”



But made in France or the U.K.?