1. "No, I'm not feeling him up, I'm just slipping money in his back pocket to pay for 'security' while I bone my mistress."
2. "If I were an illegal immigrant, your manly arms would be the only sanctuary I would need."
3. "And now, our impression of Silky Pony and Barack Obama. Bernie, drop your pants and pretend you have pretty, pretty hair. "
4. "Who am I? Give up? Here's a hint. 'Yeah, I stole the Heart of Gold. Now, bring me some pan-galactic gargle blasters, you suicidal robot!'"
5. "So, are we in line for iPhones or Hannah Montana tickets?"
Best of The Man
We'll find those bastards that stole our hair if it's the last thing we do!
Best of Rodney Dill
Once upon a New York potty, as I squatted, deep in thought, but wary,
recalling many rank and scurilous volume of Hillary Clinton lore,
While I plotted, nearly laughing, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some foot gently tapping, a foot upon Rudy's stall floor.
"'Tis some prancer," I muttered, "tapping beside my stall room floor
Only this, and nothing more...
Let's pursue this... nevermore."
Best of prince of leaves
"So, Bernie, got any Italian in ya? Would you like some?"
Best of Army of Dad
I love you man.
Best of Adjustah
I M ON YR FACE STEALIN ALL YOUR HAIRZ