Thursday, December 20, 2007

Ho

Van Helsing


1. After seeing how Hillary had raped and debauched the Ghost of Christmas Past, the other spirits decided 'Why bother?'

2. I'm getting mixed messages here. The stockings and cap say, "I'm a Merry Christmas elf." The belts say, "I'm a horny leather girl and I need to be whipped."

3. Bill Clinton's compulsion to open his gifts early collides head-on with Hillary's compulsion to re-gift.

4. "On the other hand, forget the Red Rider BB Gun. I'll put my eye out with those instead."

5. "And everyone on the naughty list will receive spankings..." Sondra K takes over Christmas.

Best of Jack Reacher
I'm gonna put up some more stockings; look what these got filled with!

Best of Son Of The Godfather
I think I'll bend tradition a bit this year, and leave out some milk and rufies.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Naughty or nice?... That's freakin' entrapment, St.Nick!

Best of Jack Reacher
She'd make an excellent subordinate claus.

Best of attmay
Worst thing about this job: Getting hit on by reindeer (except Dancer and Prancer, natch).

Best of curly
Now that’s one elf that will always gets invites to Santa’s ‘reindeer games’.

Best of jbinnout
"Cane I flock your little Christmas tree?"

Best of sonicfrog
Oh Shit! Look at those socks! So THAT'S what the Wicked Witch Of The East looked like! Fricking Dorothy dropped her house on the wrong Witch!!!


28 comments:

divine miss m said...

Hi, there, Subby, my name's Jane.
Would you like a candy cane?

And would you like to pet my fur?
Why not start, and hear me purr?

Subby, wanna celebrate here?
Would you like to, Subby, Dear?

Merry Christmas Subby, and all your pals,
From me and all the Thursday gals!

The Man said...

I did pick her up on 34th Street, but it was no miracle.

Jack Reacher said...

I'm gonna put up some more stockings; look what these got filled with!

Jack Reacher said...

While Gallant continued to look for Santa, Goofus told her "He won't be in today, so let's get started. Sit on my lap, and we'll discuss the Pole."

Son Of The Godfather said...

I have visions of her sugarplums dancing in my head.

Son Of The Godfather said...

I think I'll bend tradition a bit this year, and leave out some milk and rufies.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Naughty or nice?... That's freakin' entrapment, St.Nick!

Son Of The Godfather said...

He knows when you've been sleeping.
He knows when you're awake...
But I SURE hope he doesn't know what I'm doing right now.

Anonymous said...

When I eat a North peppermint Patty I get the sensation... oh who I am kidding, I have never eaten anyone named Patty.

Chrees said...

‘Twas the week before Christmas as I viewed her askance,
Nothing was stirring, well, except maybe my pants.
I vainly attempt to change my “wish list” from Mom,
Only to find this elf's not listed at amazon.com.

Jack Reacher said...

She'd make an excellent subordinate claus.

attmay said...

Worst thing about this job: Getting hit on by reindeer (except Dancer and Prancer, natch).

Submariner said...

I only made it three stanza's into Miss M's poem and had to take a break for a little "me" time...

Submariner said...

Ohhhhhhhh; no wonder he's such a "jolly old elf."

Submariner said...

I'm not so sure about Santa, but I now have hard, scientific proof of a North Pole...

Submariner said...

If this is the result of global warming at the North Pole, I think I just converted to Gore-ism.


sorry, Miss M, but we really are that shallow and easily manipulated...

Submariner said...

Herbie wanted to be a dentist, Hermione just wanted to be Santa's Ho...

Submariner said...

Best.Stocking.Stuffer.EVER!

curly said...

Santa’s “little helper” recipe: 100mg Viagra and two shots of whiskey.

curly said...

“Wow John Edwards, you look like a natural in your Prancer outfit.”

curly said...

Now that’s one elf that will always gets invites to Santa’s ‘reindeer games’.

Rodney Dill said...

".... and just what does Mary Kwanzaa do?"

Rodney Dill said...

Gotta admit it, all those penguins look pretty stiff to me

curly said...

To Hill, From Bill
Merry Christmas!

Submariner said...

SOTG: "What are doing tonight, Subby?"
Subby: "Christmas Carole-ing..."

jbinnout said...

"Cane I flock your little Christmas tree?"

sonicfrog said...

Oh Shit! Look at those socks! So THAT'S what the Wicked Witch Of The East looked like! Fricking Dorothy dropped her house on the wrong Witch!!!

lawhawk said...

No wonder the Islamists are pissed off. Our pinups are better than theirs!