1. Hillary's appetite for lace panties could best be described as insatiable.
2. One of Hillary's first executive orders established ius primae noctis* as a presidential prerogative.
3. The Access Panel on the Stepford bride was in an awkward-to-reach location.
4. "Wow! Yours really do smell like rose petals! Fart again!"
5. "I know Michael J Fox needs them, but is this really the best time to harvest my ovaries?"
Best of kg
Hillary touches a ... um ... a ... yeah, that's it.
Best of Jack Reacher
After the incident, Ellen DeGeneres was never again asked to be a bridesmaid.
Best of Submariner
Patiently, the groom waited his turn...
Best of Submariner
Well then, I think I've found your problem. Do you have a spare couple of D cells handy?
Best of GOP & College
How did you manage to fit 3 beer bottles and a fifth of gin up there?
Best of Whacko
Marla, the bridesmaid discovered, had an especially sensitive 'G' spot.
Best of Steve O
Rudy, getting some action on the down-low.
Best of Cybrludite
It's not my fault you waited to the last minute to have me wax that thing smooth. Now quit squirming!
Best of Double the U
Quickly, tuck it under, I want it to be a surprise on the wedding night.
Best of Rodney Dill
"Nope, the 'VOTE FOR PEDRO' lettering ain't Henna."
Best of CJ
TSA Inspections at the Detroit Airport become even more intrusive.
* Am I cunning linguist? Yes, I am.
33 comments:
Hillary touches a ... um ... a ... yeah, that's it.
Look at the size of that thing! Almost makes me want to have clitoris envy!... Almost.
You really shouldn't have named your garter belt 'mohammed' now I have to honor kill you before they kill us all.
After the incident, Ellen DeGeneres was never again asked to be a bridesmaid.
Suddenly, that "always a bridesmaid" bit appeals to me....
word verification: alocat
"I said 'you may kiss the bride', not 'lick the bride'!"
Clea was a Taurus...
The groom soon regretted inviting the cast from 'The Vagina Monologues' to his wedding.
Hillary's 'get out the vote' campaign took an unusual twist...
Jane did her best to insure that the bouquet toss would go her way this time.
vf = sooahz...as in "that's so Oz"
Patiently, the groom waited his turn...
Well then, I think I've found your problem. Do you have a spare couple of D cells handy?
The Maid of honor got ticked; "OK, dammit - I'll SHOW you why they call her 'Lassie,' you jerk." and disappeared with the rubber bone...
Why Miss M; you look Divine!
Jane was happy for the assistance until Ellen started singing; ♪Thank heaven for little girls, for they grow up in the most delightful way!♪
Although a surprize, Ellen's gift gave the bride more pleasure than any other...
...and ever after, Bernadette was referred to as "Cooter."
Dammit Jane; if you'd just have lifted that dress higher we would a been posted on Thursday!
OK - NOW you've got "something borrowed" on...
(and what I wouldn't give to be there when John uncovers it later!)
At many Islamic ceremonies, Autie Maim performs the ceremonial circumcision.
...and a fatwah shall be set on ALL their houses... Sorry V.
A hush fell over the crowd as the feminist referee checked the instant replay.
1) The last "O" she'll ever have...
2) How did you manage to fit 3 beer bottles and a fifth of gin up there?
Nibbles 'er Bits, 'er Bits, 'er Bits!
Marla, the bridesmaid discovered, had an especially sensitive 'G' spot.
Looks like the shotgun wedding finished up just in time.
The clock struck noon, and Cinderhella started to turn back into a demonic serpent.
Rudy, getting some action on the down-low.
It's not my fault you waited to the last minute to have me wax that thing smooth. Now quit squirming!
quickly, tuck it under, if he sees my thing there wont be a surprise on the wedding night.
"Nope, the 'VOTE FOR PEDRO' lettering ain't Henna."
TSA Inspections at the Detroit Airport become even more intrusive.
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