Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Here Cumz Teh Bride

Subby

1. Hillary's appetite for lace panties could best be described as insatiable.

2. One of Hillary's first executive orders established ius primae noctis* as a presidential prerogative.

3. The Access Panel on the Stepford bride was in an awkward-to-reach location.

4. "Wow! Yours really do smell like rose petals! Fart again!"

5. "I know Michael J Fox needs them, but is this really the best time to harvest my ovaries?"

Best of kg
Hillary touches a ... um ... a ... yeah, that's it.

Best of Jack Reacher
After the incident, Ellen DeGeneres was never again asked to be a bridesmaid.

Best of Submariner
Patiently, the groom waited his turn...

Best of Submariner
Well then, I think I've found your problem. Do you have a spare couple of D cells handy?

Best of GOP & College
How did you manage to fit 3 beer bottles and a fifth of gin up there?

Best of Whacko
Marla, the bridesmaid discovered, had an especially sensitive 'G' spot.

Best of Steve O
Rudy, getting some action on the down-low.

Best of Cybrludite
It's not my fault you waited to the last minute to have me wax that thing smooth. Now quit squirming!

Best of Double the U
Quickly, tuck it under, I want it to be a surprise on the wedding night.

Best of Rodney Dill
"Nope, the 'VOTE FOR PEDRO' lettering ain't Henna."

Best of CJ
TSA Inspections at the Detroit Airport become even more intrusive.

* Am I cunning linguist? Yes, I am.

33 comments:

kg said...

Hillary touches a ... um ... a ... yeah, that's it.

sonicfrog said...

Look at the size of that thing! Almost makes me want to have clitoris envy!... Almost.

The Man said...

You really shouldn't have named your garter belt 'mohammed' now I have to honor kill you before they kill us all.

Jack Reacher said...

After the incident, Ellen DeGeneres was never again asked to be a bridesmaid.

duke of red said...

Suddenly, that "always a bridesmaid" bit appeals to me....

word verification: alocat

dj said...

"I said 'you may kiss the bride', not 'lick the bride'!"

dj said...

Clea was a Taurus...

dj said...

The groom soon regretted inviting the cast from 'The Vagina Monologues' to his wedding.

dj said...

Hillary's 'get out the vote' campaign took an unusual twist...

dj said...

Jane did her best to insure that the bouquet toss would go her way this time.

vf = sooahz...as in "that's so Oz"

Submariner said...

Patiently, the groom waited his turn...

Submariner said...

Well then, I think I've found your problem. Do you have a spare couple of D cells handy?

Submariner said...

The Maid of honor got ticked; "OK, dammit - I'll SHOW you why they call her 'Lassie,' you jerk." and disappeared with the rubber bone...

Submariner said...

Why Miss M; you look Divine!

Submariner said...

Jane was happy for the assistance until Ellen started singing; ♪Thank heaven for little girls, for they grow up in the most delightful way!♪

Submariner said...

Although a surprize, Ellen's gift gave the bride more pleasure than any other...

Submariner said...

...and ever after, Bernadette was referred to as "Cooter."

Submariner said...

Dammit Jane; if you'd just have lifted that dress higher we would a been posted on Thursday!

Submariner said...

OK - NOW you've got "something borrowed" on...
(and what I wouldn't give to be there when John uncovers it later!)

Submariner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Submariner said...

At many Islamic ceremonies, Autie Maim performs the ceremonial circumcision.


...and a fatwah shall be set on ALL their houses... Sorry V.

Jay Guevara said...

A hush fell over the crowd as the feminist referee checked the instant replay.

GOP & College said...

1) The last "O" she'll ever have...

2) How did you manage to fit 3 beer bottles and a fifth of gin up there?

Submariner said...

Nibbles 'er Bits, 'er Bits, 'er Bits!

Whacko said...

Marla, the bridesmaid discovered, had an especially sensitive 'G' spot.

prince of leaves said...

Looks like the shotgun wedding finished up just in time.

prince of leaves said...

The clock struck noon, and Cinderhella started to turn back into a demonic serpent.

Steve O said...

Rudy, getting some action on the down-low.

Cybrludite said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cybrludite said...

It's not my fault you waited to the last minute to have me wax that thing smooth. Now quit squirming!

Double the U said...

quickly, tuck it under, if he sees my thing there wont be a surprise on the wedding night.

Rodney Dill said...

"Nope, the 'VOTE FOR PEDRO' lettering ain't Henna."

CJ said...

TSA Inspections at the Detroit Airport become even more intrusive.