(I'm just feeling a little sub-optimal this morning)
Best of ThatGayConservative
The ultimate demise of Thing.
Best of doc ock
The photographer of Hillary's Drudge photo met a not unexpected fate.
Best of Tim
Bobby the crocodile contemplated the sound of one hand clapping
Best of Son Of The Godfather
V should post the actual video of this... we need more alligator clips.
Best of Submariner
Reptile? check
Little girl? undetermined
V. you're still on that kick, eh?
Best of curly
“Hello, crocodile tech support?”
Best of curly
“Don't taste me, bro.”
Best of Son Of The Godfather
The inevitable conclusion to a scenario beginning with "Here, hold mah beer... Watch this!"
Best of evariste
I told him it wasn't the goddamn Space Pope, but the idiot tried to pet him anyway. An hour later, he walked out of Handcrafters, practically good as new.
Best of Friend of USA
Bob wins the bet, loses the hand.
Best of lawhawk
Trent Reznor's inspiration?
Best of Rodney Dill
Australian for 'Flesh Wound'
Best of Steve O
Famous last words: "Talk to the hand."
Best of Steve O
"C'mon!!! A croc can run at, what, 3 miles an hour?? What can go wrong?"
Best of Cybrludite
Last known picture of Sean Penn during his visit to post-Katrina New Orleans.
Best of duke of red
I HAD A HOOMAN BUT I EATED IT
Best of sonicfrog
Incidentally, after viewing the third sequel to "Lake Placid", he only gave it One-Thumbs-Up.
Best of evariste
Fred Thompson says, "Hell no, I'm not raising my hand."
Best of Submariner
and adding to the tragedy, Samantha had just gotten her nails done...
106 comments:
Forgive me for this one: "Here, let me give you a hand."
Please don't give the gators any handouts.
"Don't worry" they said, "It will never bite the hand that feeds it."
The ultimate demise of Thing.
The photographer of Hillary's Drudge photo met a not unexpected fate.
Bob lost both his favorite "dates" on a bad day in Enumclaw.
Bobby the crocodile contemplated the sound of one hand clapping
My what a HANDsome reptile.
"Here, pull my finger," has a completely different meaning to a crocodile.
ORA:
"Dexter, did you hear? They found Doakes."
Man, I love that series.
Has this picture been properly "vetted"?
(have to read the original cap for that one ;)
Peter Pan laughs every time he sees that happen.
ORA:
Now how am I gonna drive my old gold chevy to the place of my own?
"Anybody seen ol' Mick Dundee lately?"
And so surrender monkey Harry Reid got his wish... he was in fact the last one to be eaten by the crocodile.
Cool gator handbag.
Why haven't we seen Mike Gravel lately?
When a Florida hooker asks if you want a "reptillion hand-job", JUST SAY NO!
He would often tell his horrific story at the local bar, but would only receive crocodile tears in return.
The alligator handily dispatches his prey.
"Survivor" attempts to boost its ratings.
I can TOTALLY relate to what that guy went through. Once, I was feeding my Labrador a piece of bacon, and she nipped at my pinky fingernail. Hurt for like, five minutes.
V should post the actual video of this... we need more alligator clips.
(Oh stop, you would have posted it to. ;)
"Tastes like chicken."
No, SOTG - I would have posted it TOO
Long Pork - it's what's for dinner!
"AHHHH! A wild animal just ate my hand!"
"Oh sure... what a total croc..."
Hazards at the Everglades Community Course are not always taken seriously by northern golfers on vacation. But only once...
No, SOTG - I would have posted it TOO
OK, college boy with your big words and spellin' and stuff. lol Mornin' Subby!
Lady Fingers for desert again?
Dawn had one of the shortest epitaths: "Gator ate 'er"
And so, Yves St. Laurent ended in the ultimate fashion faux pas, interred in an alligator bag after Labor Day...
"Fists of Fury" my 'gator pooper...
Mornin' SOTG - heck of a roll you're on...
It's always unwise to play "rock, paper, scissors" with wildlife.
And, with Bindi Irwin meeting her fate, the cycle was complete.
(Too soon?... Bad taste?...Ask the gator!)
Reptile? check
Little girl? undetermined
V. you're still on that kick, eh?
Anyone seen David Attenborough lately?
It's an allegory of the Charles Johnson / Dan Rather TANG documents story.
Crocodile Dundidit.
“Hello, crocodile tech support?”
“That’s OK…I only need one hand for Hot Babe Thursday.”
The obvious conclusion to a scenario beginning with "Here, hold mah beer... Watch this!"
“Me miss Steve Irwin.”
CrocPot: When Tick-Tock met Pol Pot.
No one would argue that the commie James Carville won the debate.
Waterboard this, John Murtha!
Man, Janet Reno has really let herself go.
Halal meals in Crocistan: we don’t serve Jews.
Australian for "do you have the time?"
I told him it wasn't the goddamn Space Pope, but the idiot tried to pet him anyway. An hour later, he walked out of Handcrafters, practically good as new.
ORA Choda-Boy just knew he had left his handy weapon somewhere.
"Don't Taste Me, Bro."
Thing would later regret pulling the "finger in the seat cushion" bit on Mortisha at the 12th annual Adams Family Christmas gathering.
Bob wins the bet, loses the hand.
What happens when you cut Rosie on the line at the All You Can Eat Buffet at the Sizzler.
PETA had to find another performer after they tried to save an alligator from being fed by his handlers.
The IZod center took a real PR hit when their pet croc had its way with the patrons.
Trent Reznor's inspiration?
Australian for 'Flesh Wound'
Idaho Chubby caused a stir today at the World Series of Poker when he threw in his hand...
Looks like I gotta hand it to you...
ORA:
Mark Antony would be proud.
"I fought 'im for five minutes and finally won."
"Butya din't get your hand back."
"No but, I got the Foster's that was still in it back."
Unfortunately for Hillary, indulging her primal urges became a special special on Discovery when a National Geographic photo-journalist caught her on film...
"Pardon me. Would you have any Grey Poupon?"
The important thing is that we ask ourselves, "What have we done to anger the crocodile, and how can we make amends?"
The night guards at the zoo would later regret showing the crocodiles spy thrillers, when the reptiles applied what they learned to defeat the biometric scanners and make their bloody escape.
Curly, if you don't make the list with "Don't Taste Me, Bro." I'm moving to Canada.
Ask not what your crocodile can do for you. Ask what you can do for your crocodile.
Help! Help! He's got my watch!
Sindey Blumenthal is back and he's way past puppies and kittens.
"God I hate hippies...."
Next on “Oprah”: The ICE plan to put crocodiles in the Rio Grande: an eco-friendly alternative to a fence -- or a mean spirited plan by xenophobic racists.
We must ask "Why do the crocodiles hate us?"
Only after understanding them can we hope to have peace with man-eating reptiles.
Famous last words:
"Talk to the hand."
Please do not pet the... oh never mind.
...and now all those in FAVOR of Hillary as our nominee?
"Dang, got some food shtuck between my teeth again."
Suddenly, having a "Crocodile Rodeo" no longer seemed like such a great idea.
So he says to the crocodile, "Oh yeah, well at least I have opposable thumbs, you diluvian reptile!"
Ironically, Billy-Bob only meant to give him the finger.
"Messing with Croc-squatch"
"D-u-u-u-ude! I bet can TOTALLY rub that croc's belly!!"
"Aaaaahhhh! Rub his belly Ernie! Rub his belly!"
Although her career was shorter than her brother's, the "Crocodile Whisperer" had no less an impact on society.
"D-u-u-u-ude! I bet I can TOTALLY rub that croc's belly!!"
Sorry about the double-post. One of those comments is not like the other.
"C'mon!!! A croc can run at, what, 3 miles an hour?? What can go wrong?"
Let's go! Free beer... crocodiles... lot's of hot chicks to impress... it'll be fun!
Famous last words:
"I AM far enough back!"
Louisiana Yard Dog
Last known picture of Sean Penn during his visit to post-Katrina New Orleans.
Love your new crocodile wristband dude
ORA: Within hours, Lubriderm's ad men were forced to come up with a new campaign.
Failure to keep the pimp hand strong in the bayou were a bit more serious than in the city.
ORA:
Dustin Hoffman hated this aspect of being a method actor...
Raise your hand, raise your if you're sure!
uhhhhh, drop it if you're not...
Looks like Wally led an expedition into the outback again...
I CAN HAZ HYOOMAN?
All your lefties are belong to us.
...and with one swift move, Hillary got the wedding band back.
Finger Lickin' Good!!!
Yet more scientific proof that Crocodiles are left handed.
Incidentally, after viewing the third sequel to "Lake Placid", he only gave it One-Thumbs-Up.
Hmmmm, guess he don't like dark meat...
Hillary, shamelessly shilling to another untapped demographic: "Lets have a show of hands of those who agree that we need to get those Louisiana swamp dwellers displaced by Katrina back into their homes".
Fred Thompson says, "Hell no, I'm not raising my hand."
Stanley knew you could tell a gator's age by counting it's teeth. The gator knew you could tell a man's age by counting the concentric rings in his Ulna...
and adding to the tragedy, Samantha had just gotten her nails done...
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