1. "Heck, if they could do Photoshop in real life, I might even want to do her."
2. Bill Clinton graphically illustrates the effects of beer goggles.
3. "Come on, y'all. The picture's still more realistic than her health care plan."
4. "Ain't that a great picture? Say what you will about John Edwards, but give him a hairbrush and some make-up and the man's a dang ol' miracle worker, I tell you what."
5. "No, it ain't Photoshop. Hillary always likes to 'whore it up' when she goes trolling for campaign dollars in Chinatown."
Best of Submariner
Stop me if you've heard this one; A lumberjack, a communist, and Hillary walk into the Blue Oyster...
Best of jbinnout
"...an then the last bit of advice Jesse gives me 'Bill, it'll all blow over if you just give Hillary a pearl necklace too.'"
Best of ThatGayConservative
"I call upon the ancient lords of the underworld to bring forth this beast and, Awaken, awaken, awaken, awaken/Take the land that must be taken.
Awaken, awaken, awaken, awaken/Devour worlds, smite, forsaken."
Best of Jack Reacher
Is this like that Apple commercial where a woman runs into the room and throws a hammer through the screen? Because she should.
Best of Submariner
Take my wife. PLLLLLLEEEEEEEASSSSSSSSSE!
Best of curly
"...and this is your brain on drugs."
Best of prince of leaves
Bill fronted the project to carve God-Empress Hillary's bust on Mount Rushmore, but only because she promised to rename Devil's Tower in his honor.
Best of Army of Dad
"Great question. Yes that is the only pearl necklace I have ever given her."
Best of ThatGayConservative
Trying to think of a Citizen Kane joke. Disappointed y'all haven't.
23 comments:
ORA- "...So remember: When you think of heads, think of The Big Giant Head!"
--DaveP.
"I.Did.NOT.Have.Sex.With.THAT.Woman."
Yep;
Keep the pimp hand strong and send 'em into Chinatown for campaign contri's...
Stop me if you've heard this one;
A lumberjack, a communist, and Hillary walk into the Blue Oyster...
OJR:
"...so Hill looks at me and says - If I'd a married him, YOU'D a been pumpin' gas and HE'D a been President..."
Hillary could never give me what Monica could... with Monica I was able to get a little head.
♪ Hush, little baby, don't say a word
And never mind that noise you heard
It's just the beast under your bed
in your closet; IN YOUR HEAD... ♪
Big Brother is Watching You.
"...an then the last bit of advice Jesse gives me 'Bill, it'll all blow over if you just give Hillary a pearl necklace too.'"
"Now, we've never actually tried to awaken a troll before from a Finnish Necronomicon.
So please bare with us.
Here goes:
I call upon the ancient lords of the underworld to bring forth this beast and,
Awaken, awaken, awaken, awaken,
Take the land that must be taken.
Awaken, awaken, awaken, awaken,
Devour worlds, smite, forsaken."
"Look folks, I'm not doing this for her - I'm doin' this for me! Man, If I can get back in that big white house I'll have nothing to do but thumb through the pages, if you get my drift."
"Frankly, when I first agreed with Hillary's new SWMBO policy, I thought it meant, 'Sex With My Bitchin' Oldie.'"
"Don't let the flag lapel pen scare you, folks; it's just for show."
...and lastly; once elected we promise to return the "W" keys to all the White House keyboards...
"...vote for her and keep her smiling, just like this. Believe me you don't want to see the face I have to look at in the morning."
WV=rokify
Is this like that Apple commercial where a woman runs into the room and throws a hammer through the screen? Because she should.
Take my wife. PLLLLLLEEEEEEEASSSSSSSSSE!
"...and this is your mind on drugs."
Bill introduces the only known antidote to Viagra.
Bill fronted the project to carve God-Empress Hillary's bust on Mount Rushmore, but only because she promised to rename Devil's Tower in his honor.
"Great question. Yes that is the only pearl necklace I have ever given her."
The Hillaryboarding continues...
Trying to think of a Citizen Kane joke. Disappointed y'all haven't.
The NAALCP members became edgy when Bill remarked about moving into the Big House.
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