Friday, December 14, 2007

What Kind of Crazy Ass Dorian Gray Sh1t Is This?

SondraK

1. "Heck, if they could do Photoshop in real life, I might even want to do her."

2. Bill Clinton graphically illustrates the effects of beer goggles.

3. "Come on, y'all. The picture's still more realistic than her health care plan."

4. "Ain't that a great picture? Say what you will about John Edwards, but give him a hairbrush and some make-up and the man's a dang ol' miracle worker, I tell you what."

5. "No, it ain't Photoshop. Hillary always likes to 'whore it up' when she goes trolling for campaign dollars in Chinatown."

Best of Submariner
Stop me if you've heard this one; A lumberjack, a communist, and Hillary walk into the Blue Oyster...

Best of jbinnout
"...an then the last bit of advice Jesse gives me 'Bill, it'll all blow over if you just give Hillary a pearl necklace too.'"

Best of ThatGayConservative
"I call upon the ancient lords of the underworld to bring forth this beast and, Awaken, awaken, awaken, awaken/Take the land that must be taken.
Awaken, awaken, awaken, awaken/Devour worlds, smite, forsaken."

Best of Jack Reacher
Is this like that Apple commercial where a woman runs into the room and throws a hammer through the screen? Because she should.

Best of Submariner
Take my wife. PLLLLLLEEEEEEEASSSSSSSSSE!

Best of curly
"...and this is your brain on drugs."

Best of prince of leaves
Bill fronted the project to carve God-Empress Hillary's bust on Mount Rushmore, but only because she promised to rename Devil's Tower in his honor.

Best of Army of Dad
"Great question. Yes that is the only pearl necklace I have ever given her."

Best of ThatGayConservative
Trying to think of a Citizen Kane joke. Disappointed y'all haven't.

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

ORA- "...So remember: When you think of heads, think of The Big Giant Head!"

--DaveP.

Submariner said...

"I.Did.NOT.Have.Sex.With.THAT.Woman."

Submariner said...

Yep;
Keep the pimp hand strong and send 'em into Chinatown for campaign contri's...

Submariner said...

Stop me if you've heard this one;
A lumberjack, a communist, and Hillary walk into the Blue Oyster...

Submariner said...

OJR:
"...so Hill looks at me and says - If I'd a married him, YOU'D a been pumpin' gas and HE'D a been President..."

Double the U said...

Hillary could never give me what Monica could... with Monica I was able to get a little head.

divine miss m said...

Hush, little baby, don't say a word
And never mind that noise you heard
It's just the beast under your bed
in your closet; IN YOUR HEAD...

Paul said...

Big Brother is Watching You.

jbinnout said...

"...an then the last bit of advice Jesse gives me 'Bill, it'll all blow over if you just give Hillary a pearl necklace too.'"

ThatGayConservative said...

"Now, we've never actually tried to awaken a troll before from a Finnish Necronomicon.
So please bare with us.
Here goes:
I call upon the ancient lords of the underworld to bring forth this beast and,

Awaken, awaken, awaken, awaken,
Take the land that must be taken.
Awaken, awaken, awaken, awaken,
Devour worlds, smite, forsaken."

Whacko said...

"Look folks, I'm not doing this for her - I'm doin' this for me! Man, If I can get back in that big white house I'll have nothing to do but thumb through the pages, if you get my drift."

Rodney Dill said...

"Frankly, when I first agreed with Hillary's new SWMBO policy, I thought it meant, 'Sex With My Bitchin' Oldie.'"

curly said...

"Don't let the flag lapel pen scare you, folks; it's just for show."

Submariner said...

...and lastly; once elected we promise to return the "W" keys to all the White House keyboards...

Rodney Dill said...

"...vote for her and keep her smiling, just like this. Believe me you don't want to see the face I have to look at in the morning."

WV=rokify

Jack Reacher said...

Is this like that Apple commercial where a woman runs into the room and throws a hammer through the screen? Because she should.

Submariner said...

Take my wife. PLLLLLLEEEEEEEASSSSSSSSSE!

curly said...

"...and this is your mind on drugs."

curly said...

Bill introduces the only known antidote to Viagra.

prince of leaves said...

Bill fronted the project to carve God-Empress Hillary's bust on Mount Rushmore, but only because she promised to rename Devil's Tower in his honor.

Army of Dad said...

"Great question. Yes that is the only pearl necklace I have ever given her."

curly said...

The Hillaryboarding continues...

ThatGayConservative said...

Trying to think of a Citizen Kane joke. Disappointed y'all haven't.

The NAALCP members became edgy when Bill remarked about moving into the Big House.