Tuesday, November 06, 2007

You don't have to be a complete retard to be editor-in-chief of the New York Times, but it helps.

1. Every once in a while, Pinch Sulzberger's finger movements betray the fact that his mother was a Ferengi.

2. "News, reviews, lifestyle stories and editorials aren't really enough. We have to figure out how to make our advertising veer far-left."

3. "Fine, I'll just pull my own damn finger then."

4. "Do I look like a complete tool? You guys would tell me if I looked like a complete tool, wouldn't you?"

5. "So, anyway, I'm in the bath house, oiled up and ready for action, when this big ol' bear walks up, this big around with balls hangin' down to here..."

Best of metalgarth
Sulzberger never did quite get the hang of drinking tea like a proper nancy boy and had the sprains to prove it

Best of Jack Reacher
"Pinch, you don't have to do that every time someone uses the word 'vogue'."

Best of Van Helsing
Fortunately the picture doesn't show his pants, which match the suspenders.

Best of Rodney Dill
Air iPod was the natural progression from Air Guitar.

Best of Shayne
"...and voila! See? It disappears into thin air, just like my credibility. And my moral compass. And my subscribers..."

Best of Jay Guevara
Pinch Sulzberger, aka "Exhibit A," speaking before the House committee investigating corporate nepotism.

Best of Army of Mom
Sulzberger falls far short of successfully doing the MySpace Face complete with pout and finger gesture.

Best of Tim
Sometimes the nurses would let the "disabled" children dress up and pretend to have jobs. But the process ended after one patient swallowed his suspenders.

Best of lawhawk
Larry King can get away wearing suspenders. You, Pinch, are no Larry King.

19 comments:

metalgarth said...

Sulzberger never did quite get the hang of drinking tea like a proper nancy boy and had the sprains to prove it

Jack Reacher said...

"Pinch, you don't have to do that every time someone uses the word 'vogue'."

Jack Reacher said...

Pinch always showed the assembled editors that he was, in fact, a little teapot.

Van Helsing said...

Fortunately the picture doesn't show his pants, which match the suspenders.

AJ said...

"If you think my fingers are crooked, let me show you this..."
Sulzberger proceeds to display what 5-10 months for indecent exposure looks like.

Rodney Dill said...

Larry Pawn

Rodney Dill said...

Air iPod was the natural progression from Air Guitar.

Army of Dad said...

"Kobe, she's open!"

Jack Reacher said...

Rodney Dill said...
Air iPod was the natural progression from Air Guitar.


Now THAT'S funny!

Shayne said...

"...and voila! See? It disappears into thin air, just like my credibility. And my moral compass. And my subscribers..."

Whacko said...

"OK, so we'll run with the lead story, 'Dick Cheney, dressed as an Arab, has an affair with a lesbian camel.' That ought to sell a few papers dontcha think?"

Jay Guevara said...

Pinch Sulzberger, aka "Exhibit A," speaking before the House committee investigating corporate nepotism.

Rodney Dill said...

"'Course its 10 minutes to Wapner. We're definitely locked in this box with no TV."

Kaptain said...

"Kobe, that guy over there is open, you capitalist tool of the oppressing races, you plantation-shuffling Uncle Tom. Rise up and throw off your shackles, Kobe! Viva la Revolution! Viva Che Gue... huh? Yes, I know the mike is on!"

Rodney Dill said...

Ted ponders just how many hair follicles he is losing every minute.

Army of Mom said...

Sulzberger falls far short of successfully doing the MySpace Face complete with pout and finger gesture.

Army of Mom said...

'Ow to speak australian: douchebag.

Tim said...

sometimes the nurses would let the "disabled" children dress up and pretend to have jobs. But the process ended after one patient swallowed his suspenders.

lawhawk said...

Larry King can get away wearing suspenders. You, Pinch, are no Larry King.