1. Other characters in Andrew Sullivan's sci-fi epic Milky Loads from Outer Space included Captain Penetrator, First Officer Glutes, and Asian Science Officer, Mr. Hung.
2. Forgetting about the dangers of explosive decompression, Creamer unzips to take a wizz and promptly explodes.
3. "My name is Cramer. Cramer! F**k you faggot bastards at Mission Control!"
4. Ever since the Xenomorph had eaten Coffee, Creamer sensed his presence on the mission was superfluous.
5. Young and vulnerable inmates at Rura Pente are advised to stay clear of the old sick f**k known as 'Creamer.'
Best of Kaptain
"You damn kids get off my barren lawn!"
Best of Kaptain
Old Man Creamer was the target of many a prank by the neighborhood kids, including the infamous one where they moved his house to the Himalaya Mountains.
Best of Rodney Dill
What planet will you be on be when your laxative kicks in.
Best of The Man
Tragedy struck as Commander Creàmer (it's french people, grow up) was the first to be killed by one of the Martians deadly accurate black arrows.
Best of Rodney Dill
The CEO and founder of Creamerica was later sued by Michael Richards, who hung him upside down and stuck a fork in his a$$.
Best of duke of red
I CAN HAZ SHOOGAR WIF DAT?
Best of Pauly
SWM, 75, willing to go to the ends of the earth to find the Sugar in my life. Reply to deparateoldguy@craigslist.com
Best of Submariner
ORA: "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky."
Best of Rodney Dill
"... I don't even know her."
Best of Jack Reacher
"Didn't we park in the Mickey lot?"
"No, I'm sure it was Donald Duck."
Best of Double the U
The Ron Paul supporters reached a new level, the apparatus allows them to only breath Ron Paul's farts. And they are ecstatic!
Best of Dwight's Writing Manifesto
"Uh, I dunno, Mr. Fawcett. We still haven't found our way back to civilization and these penguins are starting to peck at my nads."
39 comments:
Government bureauweenies scout new locations for light rail projects.
"You damn kids get off my lawn!"
Old Man Creamer was the target of many a prank by the neighborhood kids, including the infamous one where they moved his house to the Himalaya Mountains.
Captain Creamer long ago resigned himself to the fact that he would forever be assigned to Major Splenda's team
"Sir, I see nothing. Should we move on?"
That was the last transmission from Crew 112F, who were on a mission deep inside Rosie O'Donnell's rectum.
Old man: "Excuse me but I think you've mistaken me for someone who gives a rat's ass."
Where will you be when your laxative kicks in.
Interns for Ron Paul went searching for this "plant" they kept hearing about that supposedly was the secret to Hillary's vile campaign.
Tragedy struck as Commander Creàmer (it's french people, grow up) was the first to be killed by one of the Martians deadly accurate black arrows.
"Gesunheit!"
The NASA Scientist were outstanding in their field.
The CEO and founder of Creamerica as later sued by Michael Richards.
The CEO and founder of Creamerica was later sued by Michael Richards.
Survivor: Antarctica only lasted one episode, with Rudy being declared the winner.
"Take Me To Your lettuce..... er, I mean Leader!!!".
CNN NEWS REPORT "...and that's the interplanetary news today from correspondent Dick Creamer on Uranus."
CNN NEWS REPORT "...and that's the interplanetary news today from imbedded correspondent Dick Creamer on Uranus."
Thought bubble; "Da-amn! I sure wish I had worn my 'Oops I Crapped My Pants' brand..."
"Dude.... Where's my car?"
Shortly after hearing this message from a probe droid, "Yeah, that's another Imperial probe all-right. I keep telling them the rebel base is on Hoth, but do they listen? No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o." Vader sends a team of low budget stormtroopers to Hoth to check it out.
The martian atmosphere found on planet Zingor has a strange aging property that we have not yet been able to single out. What we are sure of, is that Astronaut Creamer, age 32, forgot to zip up his suit.
I CAN HAZ SHOOGAR WIF DAT?
SWM, 75, willing to go to the ends of the earth to find the Sugar in my life. Reply to deparateoldguy@craigslist.com
Did somebody step on a duck?
Will you quit singing "Ice, Ice, Baby" fer gawd's sake?
Eat yer heart out, Glenn!
ORA:
"Good luck, Mr. Gorsky."
Chronic farters Creamer, Chunker and Diarrheaer are forced to breathe their own recycled fumes.
"You know, Dr. Crapper, if you're going to print out a new name tag every day and tape it over your own, you might want to get away from ones that rhyme."
The guy's got his head stuck in a terrarium dome/garbage can lid, and is stuck on a frozen hell-planet (aka Utah). You think he's really worried about his name being "Creamer"?
With membership flagging, Mars Society poobah Bob Zubrin takes a cue from the Dharma Initiative and starts kidnapping participants for his strange Mars-themed social experiments on a distant Arctic island.
"... I don't even know her."
You think that's bad, Jimmy's call sign is Whirled Peas.
"Didn't we park in the Mickey lot?"
"No, I'm sure it was Donald Duck."
The Ron Paul supporters reached a new level, the apparatus allows them to only breath Ron Paul's farts. And they are ecstatic!
Coffee? Coffee anyone?
"Uh, I dunno, Mr. Fawcett. We still haven't found our way back to civilization and these penguins are starting to peck at my nads."
Creamer; "Do you ever get that 'not so fresh' feeling in your spacesuit?"
**Groung Control to Major Tom; Major Tom Creamer - Status check, over.**
"Whaddaya think? - It's freakin' cold ya dipshirt!"
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