1. "Back off, a$$-breath. Homey don't play that."
2. "Magic Negroes do not work that way! Stop rubbing my a$$."
3. "Mr. Moderator, please make Edwards stop blowing in my ear!"
4. Between questions, John Edwards whispers catty comments about Hillary's make-up and accessories to Barack Obama.
5. "Well, personally, John, I'd say any white man who needs to have the biggest house east of the Mississippi is makin' up for something, if you know what I mean."
6. "I forget, B.O., was the plan 'rape Hillary, then kill her' or 'kill Hillary, then rape her?'"
7. "What does me meeting you in your hotel room dressed as a lawn jockey have to do with joining your reparations class action lawsuit?
8. "A few choruses of 'Funky Town' whispered huskily are known to be irresistible to the African libido." - page 43 of How to Seduce a Black Man.
9. "Correction, Mr. Edwards. Your milkshake does *not* bring all the boys to the yard."
10. "Normally, Senator Edwards, I'd be happy to meet you for dinner, but tonight I'm eating fried chicken and watermelon with Dawn in front of Old Navy."
Best of Jack Reacher
I pledge allegiance to the Magic Negro...
Best of Jack Reacher
Contestants at the Mr. Metrosexual Pageant wish each other good luck.
Best of Murphy Klasing
"Barak, tell you miget goon to get his hand off my chest or I swear I will tussle your hair on National TV."
Best of Dave P
"...why yes, they are. Rock hard, Barry. Wanna try a feel?"
Best of GregMan
"Pleeease get me Opra's autograph while you're campaigning with her, Barack. I would just DIE for Opra's autograph!"
Best of duke of red
"Psst, pass it down.. Hillary eats man balls."
Best of Kaptain
"I had that dream again, Barry. You know. Where we're running toward each other, hair flying in the breeze. Although in my case, that's rather self-evident. I mean, just look at it. Doesn't it just scream 'full-bodied'? Touch it. You know you want to. I'm silky, and I'll be your pony."
Best of Submariner
No; you can't EVEN be my wingman, cracker.
Best of metalgarth
In 2008 the voters of Springfield will have to choose Lenny or Carl as their next mayor, but their close relationship has the people wondering.
Best of Army of Mom
Barack, have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?