1. "Back off, a$$-breath. Homey don't play that."2. "Magic Negroes do not work that way! Stop rubbing my a$$."
3. "Mr. Moderator, please make Edwards stop blowing in my ear!"
4. Between questions, John Edwards whispers catty comments about Hillary's make-up and accessories to Barack Obama.
5. "Well, personally, John, I'd say any white man who needs to have the biggest house east of the Mississippi is makin' up for something, if you know what I mean."
6. "I forget, B.O., was the plan 'rape Hillary, then kill her' or 'kill Hillary, then rape her?'"
7. "What does me meeting you in your hotel room dressed as a lawn jockey have to do with joining your reparations class action lawsuit?
8. "A few choruses of 'Funky Town' whispered huskily are known to be irresistible to the African libido." - page 43 of How to Seduce a Black Man.
9. "Correction, Mr. Edwards. Your milkshake does *not* bring all the boys to the yard."
10. "Normally, Senator Edwards, I'd be happy to meet you for dinner, but tonight I'm eating fried chicken and watermelon with Dawn in front of Old Navy."
Best of Jack Reacher
I pledge allegiance to the Magic Negro...
Best of Jack Reacher
Contestants at the Mr. Metrosexual Pageant wish each other good luck.
Best of Murphy Klasing
"Barak, tell you miget goon to get his hand off my chest or I swear I will tussle your hair on National TV."
Best of Dave P
"...why yes, they are. Rock hard, Barry. Wanna try a feel?"
Best of GregMan
"Pleeease get me Opra's autograph while you're campaigning with her, Barack. I would just DIE for Opra's autograph!"
Best of duke of red
"Psst, pass it down.. Hillary eats man balls."
Best of Kaptain
"I had that dream again, Barry. You know. Where we're running toward each other, hair flying in the breeze. Although in my case, that's rather self-evident. I mean, just look at it. Doesn't it just scream 'full-bodied'? Touch it. You know you want to. I'm silky, and I'll be your pony."
Best of Submariner
No; you can't EVEN be my wingman, cracker.
Best of metalgarth
In 2008 the voters of Springfield will have to choose Lenny or Carl as their next mayor, but their close relationship has the people wondering.
Best of Army of Mom
Barack, have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
30 comments:
"Ninjas"
"Pirates"
"Psst, Barry. I'll crawl behind Shrillary on my hands and knees. Then you give her a push."
I pledge allegiance to the Magic Negro...
"Next time they play the National Anthem, Barak, you put YOUR hand over my heart, and I'll put MY hand over your crotch. It'll be great! Hey, Barak, where ya going?"
"Nothing personal, Barry, if I call you 'boy'..."
"Nothing personal, John, if I call you rich nancy-boy tort lawyer..."
Contestants at the Mr. Metrosexual Pageant wish each other good luck.
"Hmm, you could use some moisturizer, Barry. I'd recommend a good exfoliating scrub, too, just before a hot bath with scented oils. It makes me feel so manly."
Monthly. Yes. You should do a self-breast exam. It could save your life. Watch, just like this, Barak.
"Barak, tell you miget goon to get his hand off my chest or I swear I will tussle your hair on National TV."
"...why yes, they are. Rock hard, Barry. Wanna try a feel?"
--DaveP.
"Remember, Barak, we're Democrats, so we put our LEFT hand over our hearts during the Pledge of Alleigance. That way it doesn't count."
"Pleeease get me Opra's autograph while you're campaigning with her, Barack. I would just DIE for Opra's autograph!"
"I love you, Barack, with all my heart!"
"Psst. Do you, uh, pitch or catch?"
"Wow, your ears really ARE big!"
"Psst, pass it down.. Hillary eats man balls."
"Barry, have you come to terms with the Democratic Party nominating us to run, simply to make Hillary look good? I have. And I feel fantastic."
"Mmmm, I just love the smell of afro sheen in the morning."
"I just can't quit you, you magic negro, you."
"I had that dream again, Barry. You know. Where we're running toward each other, hair flying in the breeze. Although in my case, that's rather self-evident. I mean, just look at it. Doesn't it just scream 'full-bodied'? Touch it. You know you want to. I'm silky, and I'll be your pony."
Man, I feel infinitely dirty for just typing that.
Not tonight Barry, Sully is waiting for me at my pool party. You can stop by though, we could use another servant.
The Breck girl serenades BO:
Ebony and Ivory
Live together'n my mansion in NC
Side by side in my hottub
Oh Barry, why don't we?
pssst - BO - 'Who does number two work for?'
pssst - BO - Over against the wall with its back to us; is that Hilldawg or the Goreacle?
No; you can't EVEN be my wingman, cracker.
pssst - BO - You're wanted on the Vodaphone right away!
Do you advertise, Barak? I saw an ad last night for a big-eared, chocalatey, top looking for the right creamy bottom...
"Pssst, Barry. Hillary just told me that she wants to take the two of us on a walk in Macy Park. I don't know what she wants to give us, but she told me that we need to each take a bag that we could fit in. What do you make of that?"
In 2008 the voters of Springfield will have to choose Lenny or Carl as their next mayor, but their close relationship has the people wondering.
Barack, have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
*word verification - vilien - not spelled right, but coincidence? I think not*
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